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Kids birthday parties

(45 Posts)
myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:15:45

My dd is 6 on Thursday. She invited all the kids in her class to her party. We've had 1 rsvp. She wrote a list of the kids to make sure she didn't miss one out. Luckily we have some other kids coming but I can't help but feel worried that there'll be hardly anyone from school. The teacher said she's friends with everyone and she has had invitations to other parties. I don't understand.

IceRebel Sun 24-Feb-19 17:18:56

Is the party on Thursday?

Stuckforthefourthtime Sun 24-Feb-19 17:19:03

That's odd. Do you have the numbers of her friends' parents or is there a year group WhatsApp where you could find some numbers and send a friendly check in to the parents of the kids she'd particularly like there?

Poor you and her, that sounds very stressful. At this age if children aren't RSVPing it's unlikely to be about not liking her, my boys will go to almost anyone's party so long as there's cake! More likely slack parents or otherwise there might be a party clash and people are afraid to say anything.

camelfinger Sun 24-Feb-19 17:19:22

Are you on a class WhatsApp group? Parents tend to chase up rsvps on the whole class group, especially if you’ve invited the whole class. It is annoying though and putting me off sorting out a party in the summer. Is it for Thursday?

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:22:26

Sorry no the party is on Saturday. Sorry I meant to say that blush
There's no WhatsApp group and she does breakfast and after school club so I don't see the other parents. Last year more people rsvp'd but the classes got mixed up. They've told her they're coming. Sorry there is actually another girl from her class coming but we know the parents but I had to text them to check and they said their dd had took the invite back to school.

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:23:18

It's difficult knowing how many things to get for party bags too. But I'm more worried about her being upset.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Sun 24-Feb-19 17:23:43

If its a weekday and straight after school then you might have these problems:
- pre booked extra curricula lessons ie swimming, music
- NRP access day
- child in wraparound care, parent not home until gone 6 , after commute.

Do you collect at the gates? can you ask other parents direct if they got the invitation?

Did you keep old invitations or make a note of parental contact details so you can chase up ?

Isleepinahedgefund Sun 24-Feb-19 17:24:01

Has she asked the kids at school? I find they mostly know if they're coming or not.

How long again did you give out the invites?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Sun 24-Feb-19 17:24:46

x- post - you've answered all my queries now!

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:25:17

It was just before half term. And yes she has asked them and some they said they were going.

Abkbjbjb Sun 24-Feb-19 17:28:46

My opinion is that people are just rude!! As soon as I get an invite I make a point of politely replying one way or another straight away. Height of bad manners to ignore, especially when they just turn up then 😡.
Every year I try to talk my son into going away to a hotel for a night as I find the whole party thing so stressful. He has ASD so I can't help feeling paranoid/heartbroken that nobody will want to come.
You have my sympathy!!!!

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:32:28

Oh that's really bad. I agree as last year we had a gymnastics party and it was limited to 12. Some turned up with siblings we didn't know about. Luckily there were some no showers so they had their places but it is still annoying. This is probably the last year she'll have this kind of party (church hall, bouncy castle) so we wanted it for be good for her

Motherofcreek Sun 24-Feb-19 17:34:43

Did you give a date when they had to reply by?

I missed that out and had loads of people just turning up on the day. It was a nightmare because I had to pay per child angry

Echobelly Sun 24-Feb-19 17:35:24

People are rubbish - you have to chase and chase. Sometimes there is something on that occupies a lot of kids (one year almost all the boys we invited had a football thing on the same time and it so happened a bunch of people had weddings/bar mitzvah parties etc) but a lot of the time people are just crap at replying. I tend to chase up about week after invites and then a week or so before the party if they can't make it.

Sometimes (truthfully or otherwise) I'll say a venue of whatever needs numbers confirmed, or there's a limit and i need to know if I can invite more people as that gives an excuse to chase up if you're feeling self-conscious about chasing up.

importantkath Sun 24-Feb-19 17:39:02

Chase it up with the parents, ask the teacher if she can forward on a message or tell the children they must rsvp?

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:41:38

I thought if that but there is not WhatsApp or Facebook group. Her teacher left the last day of term so they have another one I've not met and she is in breakfast and after school club. I have said she needs to tell her friends to make sure their parents know.

BlueMerchant Sun 24-Feb-19 17:46:25

I booked a party at local village Hall for my daughter's 5th. Handed out 27 invites and got 4 RSVPs. 3 of the children who had RSVP they were attending didn't turn up ( no apologies from parents).I had to chase up whether the other children would be attending and most the time got a 'not sure yet' from the parents. Luckily for my daughter we had 15 attend - I found the parents behavior very rude though and next time we receive an invite I'm going to ignore it and be ' not sure' either.

Emeraldshamrock Sun 24-Feb-19 17:51:48

My DD had her 10th Birthday last week, she invited 8 from school. I only got one RSVP to say they couldn't make it but the remaining 7 turned up.
People forget to rsvp I know it is rude, but I am guilty of it in the past.
Hope your DD has a great party.

myusernameisnotmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 17:55:53

Thank you. These replies are making me feel better. It's hard to know how many to buy party bags etc for though. But hopefully more will come.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Sun 24-Feb-19 17:57:24

This is why I took my ds 5 and two friends out for the day as we went to a classmates party where 5 people out of 8 were no shows! The mum had already paid in advance(soft play party) and was gutted

Sierra259 Sun 24-Feb-19 18:02:19

I've been amazed since we started doing parties for the DC about the sheer number of non-responders. It's just so rude! It takes literally seconds to send a yes or no thank you message and causes the party organiser so much stress wondering if anyone will actually turn up/sorting out party bag numbers etc. We did an activity party for DC1 this year, invited 7 from her class and I had to chase 4 for a response as it was paid per attendee. I appreciate it's probably an easy thing to forget to get around to, but that's precisely why I RSVP pretty much the day we get the invite now.

gamerwidow Sun 24-Feb-19 18:06:36

People are just rude you always have to chase rsvps. I wouldn’t bother with party bags just do cake to give to everyone at the end or by a few bags of sweets from Poundland and stick a few sweets in a bag with the cake for whoever shows up. No one really wants the plastic crap anyway.

HaveNoSocks Sun 24-Feb-19 18:12:00

I hate the non responders. Even when I've chased up there are people who can't be bothered to reply. Some of them do it because they want to wait until the day in question and turn up if they can be bothered/haven't got a better offer. Some people know they won't be coming but still don't make the effort to reply to a message. So bloody rude and annoying!

StinkyCandle Sun 24-Feb-19 18:17:49

It's just bad luck, some people are just unbelievably rude. Basically, they wait to see if they have a better offer on the day, then they forget to reply.

Some people will come up with the "we are too busy" bollocks, but we are all busy, we still manage to have manners. You don't forget deadlines at work, you just chose to ignore other people.

If you are never present, it's tricky to chase up. Do you have a good friend who could chase some parents for you at drop-in or pick up?

I am amazed you gave a place to siblings last year, I would have just ignored them! I have taken my kids to parties when I had no childcare, but I took magazines and games for the non-invited and they stayed nicely on the side without intruding. Basic manners!

VincentVanGoughandhisear Sun 24-Feb-19 18:31:46

As PP's have said- people are just rude.

Last year we had about half respond and one turn up on the day .

This year we had the same (different child.

It literally takes a minute to reply. I put a date to respond by on the second party invites learning from the first one and all but one did respond by that date.

I feel sorry for their children and my child. My child wants their friends there and I bet the other children actually want to go but it's just the parents not responding etc.

I hate going to parties but I do it for my children

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