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To ask how you would deal with this?

(16 Posts)
losti Sun 24-Feb-19 12:19:06

You're in the soft play with you 20 month old.

He shoves another child of a similar age because he is playing on something you child wants.

Then, he throws two ball pit balls at a child who is playing with his dad

Then in huff because he's been told off, he pulls your hair.

Then because you've taken him home, he straightens his body and screams making it impossible to put him in the car seat.

I'm really struggling with this behaviour. Am I doing something wrong????

Fabaunt Sun 24-Feb-19 12:20:24

No he’s just a baby. Just remove him from situations he’s getting very irate in

shpoot Sun 24-Feb-19 12:22:14

No, you're doing everything right. I hated the straight body phase

ILoveMaxiBondi Sun 24-Feb-19 12:26:05

When they straighten their body, tickle them in the belly. They curl up automatically. I do actually hate tickles on children but he does need to go into his car seat so needs must.

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 12:29:22

Its the hair pulling I'm struggling mostly with. I'm actually finding it genuinely upsetting.

I feel like no matter what approach I take to his tantrums or misbehaviour, I get nowhere and it doesn't improve!

Thanks for the car seat tip!

Abigwhale Sun 24-Feb-19 12:32:27

You’re doing the right things. Maybe tie your hair back (if you don’t mind that) for a while. Kids are quick to spot what gets a reaction and keep doing it. Just firmly and consistently say no, gently move their hand and try to distract them.
This too shall pass was my motto at that age.
Keep going!

ALargeGinPlease Sun 24-Feb-19 12:32:35

I'd try and manage the situations as much as possible, so if he is going through a hair pulling stage, i would, as much as possible, tie it out of the way, or wear a bandana. Remind yourself: 'this too shall pass' and when he's a bit older 'pick your battles'.

Mummyshark2019 Sun 24-Feb-19 12:52:57

You're doing everything well. This phase won't last forever. X

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 13:59:36

It feels like mine is the only one who misbehaves! I know it's not but that's what it feels like 🙈

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 13:59:46

Thank you everyone x

BuildingBackUp Sun 24-Feb-19 14:06:36

It all sounds completely normal to me op...Ds3 is 21 months.

He does all the same, but he doesn’t pull hair...he bites when he’s angry.

There’s not much you can do to ‘correct’ this behaviour at this age IME as their understanding and self control isn’t developed enough to ‘learn’ from whatever you do...it’s about setting the precedent for the near future though when they will start to understand.

So firmly saying ‘no’ and removing them, not giving attention when behaving badly...and breathing deeply and reminding yourself to never throw a baby grin

NuffSaidSam Sun 24-Feb-19 14:12:26

You're not doing anything wrong. Just say no and remove him from the situation.

Tie your hair back and put him down/stand up so he can't get at your hair. Or if you're down at eye level and he is kicking off, hold him at arm's length or hold his arms (gently) by his side.

This too shall pass!

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 14:13:26

@BuildingBackUp thanks for that. It's nice to hear from others with similar ages (not great that you're going though it too!).

I tend to calmly say "name, please don't do that as it's naughty/upsetting/hurts etc..." the first time.

Then a repeat of the Sam behaviour gets a firm "no"

Then the third time I place him on the floor/somewhere safe and totally ignore him as he's in full tantrum mode by the time I ignore him (although strike three today was to leave the play area as I don't feel comfortable leaving him to tantrum in public!)

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 14:14:06

Once he's calm, I then calmly sit and talk to him to explain what he's done wrong. I appreciate he doesn't understand at this stage but it a habit I'd like to stick with

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sun 24-Feb-19 14:14:15

We went through exactly this phase. I remember her having such a tantrum about leaving the park that she was sick when I eventually got her in the car.

Some things I found helped -

Planning not to go out when she was tired. If a nap was due and we were running late she would always kick off

Letting her climb into the car seat herself from the other side of the car. When it seemed like a game she was much better

Asking her in advance to behave nicely at the car and get in nicely and repeat and repeat. It was worse when we would leave somewhere she had been having a great time so I would just try and be positive by saying you feel sad you gave to leave as you had such a lovely time...what did you like best, what shall we play on next time

If all else failed distract with snacks and my phone while I strapped her in

It did get much better for us when she was over 2 and beginning to understand and talk a bit better

losti Sun 24-Feb-19 14:18:18

@AmIRightOrAMeringue thank you

I LOVE the car seat idea! He would probably have fun climbing about the back of the car. I'll bear that in mind!

I was actually saying this earlier. I think things will be so much easier when he has the vocabulary to explain what he is unhappy about. I think a lot of his frustration comes from not being able to properly communicate!

It just feels like a phase we're never going to get out of angry

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