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Ex refusing to sell

(61 Posts)
Mami16 Sun 24-Feb-19 11:09:56

I need some advice, been through hell with my ex last year while I was pregnant. He was emotionally abusive and would scream in my face and swear in front of DS which is only 2. He demanded that the house would be put up for sale so I agreed and we had a buyer, I moved out and back to parents because we sold the house and were only waiting to sign on completion. I then had a beautiful DD and ex was all sorry and wanted to try again. I said no could never go back and put children through that. Ex has now pulled out of the sale, moved back into the house and is refusing to sell. I’m stuck in my parents with two little ones and no room here. Any advice?

Mami16 Sun 24-Feb-19 16:20:44

He doesn't care about DC it is all to get at me. I have some evidence I didn't want to go down the route of reporting him as he's still their father, bearing in mind he reported me last year and told them that he was a victim of domestic violence! Which was a pack of lies!

It's all complicated with solicitors because I have to use different ones for the custody and house but the house application is on hold until courts sort the custody.

I am seeing domestic abuse tomorrow to see if there are anymore I can do or try because solicitors are costing me a fortune and nothing being done about the house. We need a house and ex is only thinking of himself!

Thanks for your replies, wish I came on here sooner!

Hellohappy Sun 24-Feb-19 16:27:10

I was also going to say move back in but it doesn’t seem safe for you especially with two small children.

Applesfortea Sun 24-Feb-19 16:31:23

If you are receiving support from an organisation like women's aid, or if you've spoken to your GP, midwife or health visitor about his abusive behaviour, they can give you a letter to enable you to apply for legal aid.

FenellaMaxwell Sun 24-Feb-19 16:37:40

If it’s your house too, TBH I would ask my parents to watch the kids, wait for him to go out, get a locksmith round, change the locks, then call the police on him when he gets back and kicks off....

longtimelurkerhelen Sun 24-Feb-19 16:54:50

He may be their biological relative, but he is not being a father to them. A father wouldn't do that to his kids, he would want what is best for them. You really need to report this abuse to the Police.

sausagerollsses Sun 24-Feb-19 17:36:44

I have no advice but I hope you get everything sorted OP. He sounds like a disgusting individual!

Mami16 Sun 24-Feb-19 18:00:42

I wouldn't feel safe to move back now unless I had something like an occupation order not allowing him to come back.

He's also changed the locks so I would have to get a locksmith and when I'm not home he would do the same again. I'm up against a controlling monster. He doesn't deserve to be called after what he's done to the DC. He's only thinking of himself and not for our toddler and newborn!

He will do anything to stress me or just be horrible, at 7 months he reported me for domestic abuse and police wanted to interview me but then he retracted his statement, he made me put the house up for sale after several solicitor letters, made it impossible for us to stay there till completion date, bullied me out, moved while 8 months pregnant, had DD he begged us back, I said no chance, he moves in to the house and cancels the sale of the house (we had cashbuyers too😩)

Since moving to my parents he's phoned the police on me to come out and do 4 welfare checks on DC knowing full well that they are safe and well cared for.

Mami16 Sun 24-Feb-19 18:05:09

And he's claiming to be a victim of emotional, physical and financial abuse!.

He's made our life hell for the last year and it's only now I'm out of the situation I've realised how bad and controlling he was. Sooner this house is sorted I won't be financially tied to him and it will only be co-parenting. Not sure how that will work though because everything has to be on his terms

itsbritneybiatches Sun 24-Feb-19 18:25:08

Op I went through something very similar 12 months ago.

You need to go to the police and ask for it all to be documented.

You need to keep a diary of his behaviour starting now.

All threats about the house etc. Save everything.

I ended up giving up my half of the profit (it was only £7k not as much as you) but it cut that hold over me.
He blackmailed me that if I didn't he wouldn't sell.

I had to bluff him I wasn't bothered about being made bankrupt.

I had a payment break for three months and got the house sold.

bellabasset Sun 24-Feb-19 20:26:57

How awful for you going through this shortly after the birth of your dd. In one respect though it sounds as though you have a safety net being with your parents and get moral support.

I know from personal experience the law is complex and expensive so I hope you are able to sort out custody and get the house sold.

PanamaPattie Sun 24-Feb-19 20:38:17

Stop paying the mortgage. Wait for the bank to re-possess. Wait for your share of the equity that's left. You should use your salary to rent a home.

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