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To want them to fit the grommets now not in ten months?

(28 Posts)
garbageduck Sat 23-Feb-19 23:20:17

DS is 26 months and has had back to back ear infections since September and has very limited speech. About 10 words max, poorly pronounced.

He has glue ear which hasn't improved since Sept. We have also been told that his hearing is poor after being tested twice now.

But the specialist still won't do the op until much later in the year, even though his gut feel is that DS will need grommets.

He struggles to hear us properly sometimes, nursery also agree that they find it difficult to get his attention because he can't hear.

But don't worry he's on his 10th round of antibiotics now but they're "not that bad" and don't worry about the fact his speech is pretty much non existent because they "catch up eventually".

I'm sick of it, sick of seeing my little boy suffer, every night he wakes screaming because his ears are so sore, he's becoming shy and seems frustrated when around other kids who are all much further ahead with their speech than him.

I'm loosing patience now and I don't know what else to do. Anyone else had experience of this?

steff13 Sat 23-Feb-19 23:23:25

YANBU, but I'm in the US so I'm not sure what recourse you have. My daughter's doctor told us to take her to an ENT after three ear infections. She had two sets of tubes, but she's fine now.

gamerchick Sat 23-Feb-19 23:25:29

It might be his age. They grow that fast at 2 years old. The timeline they've given you was what I got for my daughter for hers.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Sat 23-Feb-19 23:27:51

DS had grommets fitted after numerous ear infections (middle ear and burst ear drums) he had just turned three

This I was told by an ENT consultant was very young to have grommets

I know it’s awful to see your child suffer

janetforpresident Sat 23-Feb-19 23:30:36

There is a long wait on the nhs and yanbu for being annoyed by this. I know someone who finally got all this sorted in reception and another who went private and got it sorted far more quickly. Either way I think eventually your DS will be fine(while fully accepting that's no use now) but if it's financially possible for you could you look into going private?

As he gets older he should be entitled to speech therapy if his speech is delayed so please do start researching this as well.

Is it worth seeing another GP for a different opinion?

Sorry for your little lad OP it sounds shit! flowers

YouWinAgain Sat 23-Feb-19 23:32:27

My DD had the grommets op in September aged 3 and 3 months. They'd been putting it off and putting it off. For ages we had "watch and wait".

And she's likely to need to the grommets again within a year so I'd rather have waited a bit longer tbh.

Her speech has improved and she has caught up but she is developmentally delayed anyway so has only caught up to her developmental age and not her chronological age (3 and 8 months).

They don't do it to be cruel, there is science behind it. It's horrible seeing our DC suffer though, I understand. My DD was first referred for hearing tests at 14 months, so we're 30 months into treatment and only now starting to see progress.

OhTheRoses Sat 23-Feb-19 23:34:14

We were told similar by GP. Review, they grow out of it and catch up to average by the time they are 5/6. So they have to suffer infection after infection and constant pain then n the 20th Century. Oh well the NHS just doesn't fund it because it can't be clinically justified.

DS was grommetted at 16 months; DD at 20. Will never forget DD sitting in car the day after transfixed on the tree above her. She could hear the birds. For. The. First. Time.

We went private. Same ENT consultant as on NHS. No debate whatsoever. Best thing we ever did.

It's a bloody disgrace that 20+ years on children are still made to suffer. Will never forget the look on GP's face when I said I doubt my children are average and I won't see them held back because they've had to catch up rather than get ahead.

Nat6999 Sat 23-Feb-19 23:35:40

Can you go through NHS choose & book to see your consultant privately but paid for by the NHS? You have the right to do this & it cuts down waiting time, your child could then have their op done in the private hospital. I know some people complain that this is costing the NHS more money, but you do what you have to for your child to get them the right treatment when they need it.

OhTheRoses Sat 23-Feb-19 23:39:10

Also meant to say ds didn't have another ear infection until he was 8 (and needed another grommet). DD has never had another ear infection. They had each had at least 10 when they were grommetted early. To let either have more preventable ear infections was unthinkable. Why let a child suffer so much preventable pain. This is a first world country.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Sat 23-Feb-19 23:41:23

We went private and was still advised to wait a little longer over the summer he was fine (and we stopped going swimming) but then he had another ear infection/burst ear drum and the consultant agreed it was best to have grommets it was a few days after he turned 3

HoptoitDufflepuds Sat 23-Feb-19 23:43:13

Ime they expect more problems in winter months. Given the prevalence of colds, coughs etc I hope that come spring/early summer you get sorted. If not push to know exactly what they are waiting for. Dd1 had regular hearing tests because they thought she might need grommets. And she was definitely worse in the winter months. But when they syringed her ears we've fingers crossed had no problems since.

Bugsymalonemumof2 Sat 23-Feb-19 23:47:40

It's horrendous these days. My ds is 2yr4m in 2 years he has had 22 rounds of antibiotics, 4 hospital admissions via gp/out of hours, 2 blue light admissions, 3 poor hearing tests and they finally agreed to do his tonsils/adenoids/grommets because he started with sleep apnea. Criteria is horrendously high and with glue ear it often clears up itself so they have to wait and see if it does first sad

garbageduck Sun 24-Feb-19 09:12:23

Thank you all for your replies and I'm sorry to those of you whose children have also suffered with their ears. sad

I know I'm being impatient and there's probably a medical reason alongside the long waiting lists, I just hate seeing him suffer.

I also had many ear ops until I was 11 and I thankfully have no issues with my ears at all now.

Did any of your dc have hearing aids to help? This is the next course of action they've suggested but we have to wait until the infections go away first, which I can't see happening for a long time.

OhTheRoses Sun 24-Feb-19 09:17:32

I'm sorry but I don't think it is a medical reason. It's about rationing and letting children suffer. I think you need to be very assertive. Have you actually seen a consultant?

swingofthings Sun 24-Feb-19 09:22:16

I felt the same than you when my son was suffering glue ear and infections after infections and little speech, seemingly hearing issues at the same age. It seemed to go forever but they also refused and said to wait until after the summer.

They were right though. DS did get over it when spring came and that was the end of it. His speech really came on then. He is now a teenager and w cel at school. He still gets tonsilitis a couple of times a, year but hasn't had one ear infection since he was a toddler.

Fifthtimelucky Sun 24-Feb-19 09:50:07

I'm expecting to get flamed here, but I recommend trying a homeopathic remedy called pulsatilla. You can buy it over the counter in health food shops etc.

My daughter had glue ear when she was a baby and toddler (initially picked up when she failed a hearing test at 9 months). At about 18 months she went on the waiting list for grommets. The waiting list was about a year.

Someone recommended pulsatilla and I thought we might as well give it a go. A couple of months later, I got a call asking if we were available for a cancellation that day. I said yes, and we rushed off to the hospital. Before going into theatre the surgeon examined her, and said the glue ear had gone.

It might have been a coincidence. She might just have grown out of it. I will never know. But at about £5 it's worth a try.

Witchend Sun 24-Feb-19 10:28:12

Ds had his first lot at 20 months, but had had considerable more infections.

I suspect part of it is that typically it clears over summer, probably if he puts him down now he'll get them done April/May time so will be clearing by then. Even ds'usually were clear by July.
So grommets only stay in a length of time, so it could be then they'd come out before next winter.
Ask for an October or November review and if you can get them in (if still needed) then they should do one winter, and if you're lucky, 2.
That would be my choice as veteran of a D's who has had 3 lots.

Crazycrazylady Sun 24-Feb-19 11:37:38

We went private and ds1 had grommets gutted at 11 months after five months of permanent ear infections. We were so lucky to have had the option. I'd really push hard for an earlier appointment

Bufferingkisses Sun 24-Feb-19 11:50:14

Just To put over the other side my dd had constant infections from around 9 months. One day we got an infection cleared and that was it, she never had another (now adult) think she was about 23/24 mo. They really do just stop sometimes. It is horrible to watch though so I understand your concern flowers

OhTheRoses Sun 24-Feb-19 12:08:07

I don't understand why they should suffer for an additional year when it's avoidable. And reoresents half their tiny lives. I think too the other issue is that mothers have to go back to work. From December 1998 until 21st March 1999 I did not get more than two hours sleep in my bed. From 1am I nodded in the feeding chair with dd in my arms. I could not have sustained that had I been working. A more holistic approach is required.

OhTheRoses Sun 24-Feb-19 12:14:56

Another side too, is that if an adult had continuous ear infections the pain would me unmanageable and intolerable but the NHS let's it happen for babies because "they'll grow out of it". Notwithstanding 10 lots of antibiotics and continual paracetamol and ibufrofen being pumped into them to control pain and high temperatures.

I wonder how much the cost of all that medicine and all those GP visits adds up to comparedbto surgery. If you add in lost tax revenues because mother's give up work it's hardly any wonder the NHS is on its knees.

For DS whose asthma persisted (and eczema) we went to see a consultant at the Royal Homeopathic Hospital. fifthtime. He prescribed pulsatilla, Dulcis and Kali Mur. DS obviously continued the clinical medication but was almost entirely clear within a week. It may have happened anyway but certainly made me less sceptical.

Redken24 Sun 24-Feb-19 12:17:12

Have you only seen one consultant? Ask for a second opinion due to the time wait.

mangolover Sun 24-Feb-19 12:19:19

I was in this boat for 4 years, they kept putting it off and rescheduling appointments even though he was continuously on antibiotics and really poorly, and they had told us he would need grommets soon.

Then out of nowhere on turning 5, his hearing test was normal, despite him being barely able to hear anything up to that point.

We're still under audiology but he hasn't had to have a surgery which I'm very grateful for so overall really glad we didnt rush into this.

Having had to put the same child in for a different operation this year, and awaiting surgery for my toddler, I'm really grateful we waited and that that's an extra procedure he won't have to go through.

mangolover Sun 24-Feb-19 12:20:04

Also ours was for glue ear too so it did resolve by itself. We stopped any swimming which seemed to help.

Yura Sun 24-Feb-19 15:30:25

Grommets don’t solve ear infections magically for all children, and they can do some damage. my oldest (different european country) had loads of ear infections, paediatriciam said gromments make no sense for most kids, as the risk is higher than the benefit (anestetics, damage to ear, grommets falling out, ...) the ear infections disappeared around 3 years of age.

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