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To be a total grouch

(19 Posts)
Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 22:56:06

Staying at BILs house. SIL and I haven't always got on but much better since DDs arrival.
We all had dinner at the pub, and then I took DD (3) back to theirs to bed. They said they'd be right behind us. They stayed for another hour and a half. I have no problem with that.
AIBU to be really pissed off that they are now shrieking like banshees with friends they bought back from the pub, music playing as loudly as possible. Feels like a being above an Ibiza nightclub in 2000...
It's their house, and it's not late but I think I'm grumpy because 1) they invited us to stay 2) DD is fast asleep but isn't going to stay that way with all the noise 3) I asked them to just keep it down a bit but they keep turning it back up again.
I know I'm grumpy cos I'm 8 weeks (secretly) pregnant and knackered so just want to go to sleep myself but know I'm going have a woken grumpy 3 year old at some point, who no matter how much sleep she gets is going to get up at 630.
DH is still down there having fun and I'm just getting more and more pissed off wide awake and knackered

pictish Sat 23-Feb-19 22:58:27

Yanbu to feel put out...but ywbu to do anything other than grit your teeth and get through it.

Singlenotsingle Sat 23-Feb-19 22:58:31

Take her downstairs and let DH look after her.

Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 23:02:32

That would be really unfair to her. She'll be furious at being taken out of her bedroom when shes exhausted but cant sleep. I know SIL doesn't get that- her two DS are downstairs playing fortnight and will be until the adults go to bed.

I know I can't do anything. But I am so tired and crying tears of frustration.

Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 23:06:20

I think I just need a rant because i can't go down there in front of strangers in my pjs and ask them to be quiet

halfwitpicker Sat 23-Feb-19 23:10:25

Go downstairs and bollock them.

Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 23:12:26

It's not my house! I can't bollock people for doing what they want in their own house at 11pm on a Friday night. They're just inconsiderate hosts. And I'm going to make it clear to DH tomorrow we're not staying here again

Crunched Sat 23-Feb-19 23:13:04

DH should certainly be the one to sort out DD if she wakes.
You try to sleep best you can.

Morgan12 Sat 23-Feb-19 23:24:31

Your DH is being really out of order.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 23-Feb-19 23:26:18

Can you take DD home? That wouldn't be unreasonable - they want to party and that's not conducive with having a sleeping 3 year old in the house. That would be my preference over struggling through this and then annoying everyone with a 3 year old who is up at 6:30 when the hosts have had a few hours sleep at best.

reindeermania Sat 23-Feb-19 23:28:23

Your dh is being vu! I understand that you are in an impossible situation. You can't go down I'm someone else's house, especially where there are strangers AND your dh is part of the -inappropriateparty!

Go home tomorrow. Dh looks after dd whilst you catch up on sleep in the day. Early to bed in the evening

dudsville Sat 23-Feb-19 23:31:50

I think the situation is just really unfortunate. They don't know you're pg, its their home, they've although not my cup of tea they may well feel they are hosting your dh well with the impromptu party. The irritating isn't helping but you can't just decide to feel another way. You can decide not to repeat this mistake, knowing that might give you some consolation. I'd suggest rest as well as you can. Be the bigger person and be a good guest in the morning. Leave as early as possible tomorrow!

Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 23:37:22

I would love to leave early but I know DH will think thats rude.
We're over an hour away from home so not so easy to pack up and leave. Although the idea of packing the car now, putting DD in and leaving is just so appealing...
I'm currently wide awake dreaming about Villanella style balletic murders of everyone I can hear screaming. Nothing is surely that funny? They're all in the same room- why can't they hear each other as clearly as I can hear them? What involves so much banging?
Thanks for telling me DH is BU. I am annoyed with him but thought I was BU to be.

grinningcheshirecat Sat 23-Feb-19 23:41:24

Is there a hotel nearby? If dd is going to wale anyway you might want to leave now and get some rest.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Sat 23-Feb-19 23:43:45

Easy... He's up with your DD in the morning. You sleep in. He knows your pg, right?

Weenurse Sat 23-Feb-19 23:45:31

I would be seething silently and then vow never to stay again.
Also DH gets to do all child care on his next day off so you can sleep.

Whattodonut Sat 23-Feb-19 23:55:11

Yes he knows. He never gets it though. With DD or with miscarriages I've had. He has no idea how exhausting this time is when you just have to pretend all is normal but you want to go to bed at 8pm.
I have put white noise on (which is doing little to block it all out) and playing games on my phone. Basically I've given up on sleep for now (unless I pass out from tiredness) because I am not getting up tomorrow until I'm ready and we won't be staying here again.
That's MN for making me not feel quite so U and giving me what I need to take a stand with DH.

babysharkah Sat 23-Feb-19 23:56:17

Nobody knows you're pregnant (and a bit grouchy!). Try to go to sleep and firmly in your husband to deal with wake ups and tomorrow morning.

Whattodonut Sun 24-Feb-19 11:40:17

DH got up with DD and went downstairs but I couldn't go back to sleep ( no curtains in spare room). We left as soon as everyone was up (10am) saying I wasn't well.
DH says he's sorry I had a bad night but as far as he was aware I was fast asleep (I'd sent him a text but he hadn't looked at his phone). I feel very U for being annoyed with him.

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