Sorry for the morbid question. My parents were quite old having me, and all my life I have been vaguely aware that I won't have them as long as my friends will have their parents, but recently I can't stop thinking about it.
My dad died when I was 20, I was woken up one morning in uni by my mother ringing me to tell me the news. It was such a shock.
My dad was 75 at the time, he died of a heart attack. Now, ten years on, I am 30 and my mum is now turning 75. I am thinking all the time about how she is probably going to die soon (even though she is active and in good health). And even if we're fortunate and it's not for another 10 or 15 years... that still seems quite soon.
The thought of losing her upsets me so much, I am single and childless. I do have a half brother but apart from that I will be alone and unloved when she has gone.
The practicalities scare me as I remember how stressful it was for mum when dad died and I don't know how I will be able to do it alone. I will have to sort out the funeral - how will I do that? Who will tell me what I need to do?
Maybe she will be ill and need nursing care - I have no savings to pay for this so again, who will help me? How will I know who to ask to help me fight for what she needs (everyone seems to have to fight for the right care, the nice hospice, etc?)
I remember there was loads of paperwork and financial things to sort out when my dad died, it took my mum well over a year to get it all sorted out - I will have to do this when she goes, I am dyscalculic and am very basic when it comes to finances, I don't know how I will manage it? I won't even know what there is to be done?
I will have to sell the family home to split with my brother, but I will feel rootless and cast adrift when it has gone.
The whole thing is just looming ahead of me as a terrible ordeal that I don't know how I am going to cope with.
Can anyone tell me what it is like and how you got through it? I need to stop catastrophising, maybe it will take the worry away a bit.
Thank you
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What is it like after your parents die? How do you cope?
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Likethewind321 · 23/02/2019 22:18
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