Question from a babysitter

[bbysittingNC]

So, I'm currently babysitting for a family I babysit for fairly regularly. 2 dc were already down, eldest dc aged 4 was just nearing her bedtime when she asked 'how does a baby get in a tummy?'

Now, I've worked with children my entire life, I have a degree in children! But none of my own. And I didn't really know how to respond! I know how I'd respond to my own child, with facts and terminology suitable for their age.

But this isn't my child!!! Now I'm second guessing what I said, and hoping if the child repeats it the parents will be ok with it. Here's how the conversation went:
Dc : What's that? (Pregnant woman on telly)
Me: I think she has a baby in her tummy

• confusion - In her tummy!?

Yes
Why?
Well, ladies grow babies in their tummies
No not in a tummy!!!!!
They do! You used to be in mummy's tummy when you were very small
Yeah, how does it get inside?
It grows inside, there's a tiny egg which grows into a baby!

DC seemed quite amazed, she almost looked at me like I was making it up! She then asked:
But how do you put the egg and the baby inside the tummy?
The egg is already inside the tummy, then it grows into a baby
How does the baby come out?
Ladies push the baby out of a special hole in their bodies.
She then said 'like this?' And did a pushing motion as if she was pushing someone over😂
I said not quite, like how you push when you have a big poo! Then the baby comes out! Then it was all over very quick because she got distracted.

Was that ok? Would you be happy if your babysitter explained it that way? I'll give mum a heads up when she gets back in case there are any questions or comments tomorrow!

I never thought that question would fluster me but it really did, I didn't want to say the wrong thing!

[WorraLiberty]

Sounds ok to me really.

[Outnotdown]

That's more or less exactly what I told my kids at that age! I'd be happy with a babysitter managing the situation like you did.

[EwItsAHooman]

I wouldn't be cross but that's because it's more or less the same version I gave to my own DC at that age however other people might be cross depending on how much they want their own DC to know.

I'd give the mum a heads up and hope she doesn't take offence!

[ivykaty44]

I’d just say

Oh I’m not sure best ask mummy

[Hollylolly28]

Yeah I think you answered perfectly not much reason for the mum to get annoyed

[donajimena]

Better than a stork story

[Chlo1674]

I think you handled it really well! I dread to think what I would have come out with!

[TBDO]

Like Ivy, I’d have said I’m not sure, ask mummy. Much better to let the parent explain in the way they want to, to such a young child.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

You gave the explanation I gave to mine when they asked. It was age appropriate and I wouldn't be bothered by it. I'd have been annoyed if you had given a made up stork type answer!

[FurrySlipperBoots]

I think that's fine. For me it's been the other way round, little ones telling me just exactly how and where babies come from (I already knew, just to clarify! )

[bbysittingNC]

Good, I'm glad the majority are ok with it! Mum is lovely and extremely relaxed so I'm sure it will be fine.

Not sure why I didn't just say 'best ask mummy!' I guess I didn't want the subject to sound 'taboo' or make her feel odd about it.

It is what it is I suppose, can't go back now can I interesting to get some different responses though. Thanks!

[AssassinatedBeauty]

I think your instinct just to answer the question simply is the right one. If she had asked about another body function you presumably wouldn't have thought twice about answering.

[bbysittingNC]

Yes, you're right I would.

Sometimes I question my own judgement on these types of things though, I work in health visiting and see a lot! Parenting from one extreme to the other, my version of 'normal' isn't really in line with the average persons anymore! I must work harder to remember that!

[notangelinajolie]

Yeah … I would have just told her to ask her mum.

[Aridane]

I probably would just ave told child to ask their mother

[Perty01234]

Sounds spot on to me, it’s how I would expect nursery to address it should my DC talk about it there (they do as one of the key workers is pregnant). I think you handled it great.

[MadeForThis]

Sounds fine. Age appropriate.

[Perty01234]

I think the go ask mummy is a bit of a cop out, I wouldn’t expect my DC nursery to do that. I certainly know with my nearly four year old If someone said ask mummy it would just cause more and more questions as to why ask mummy and why can’t you answer etc!

[JustMarriedBecca]

Better than when my Dad babysat my 3 year old and used the word 'seed'. Poor kid freaked out when they planted flowers at nursery because she didn't want to grow a baby....

FFS DAD!

[BoringPerson]

I’d have told her to ask her Mum or Dad too.

[Catren]

I think you did a great job. Age appropriate and not including the murky side of how the egg actually turns into a baby which i think can freak little ones out! (I remember my medically trained mother giving me more detail than i needed at about 5yo, and the idea of a penis entering a vagina sounded violent and scary).

Obviously they need to learn that later but keeping it about the mum was the right choice i think. But yes, do tell the dcs mum so she knows what was discussed.

[bbysittingNC]

@JustMarriedBecca that made me chuckle!!!

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Sounds perfect, I’d be happy with that.

[bbysittingNC]

@Catren thank you

Pp's who disagree, would you say different to what I said to your own child? Just out of interest?