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To have told DH to grow TF up?

(9 Posts)
ElizabethMountbatten Sat 23-Feb-19 20:25:41

Basically, my DH has been having a hard time at work lately and he's been snappy and prickly with everyone. Both me and the kids are getting sniped at all the time and there are pointlessly mean and goading statements like, "I always let the dog out and give him breakfast before I go to work because otherwise he will probably be shut away from everyone and neglected all day long." Which never happens and he knows it. And he knows I know it as well, which makes it an utterly pointless thing to say. Just meanness because he's feeling stressed from having to deal with a new jobsworth of a manager who has caused chaos with their work systems. I can be sympathetic and I can listen to his woes but at the end of the day I didn't cause them! This evening I went to get milk out of the fridge and a huge bottle of apple juice fell out of the door and landed on my bare foot. It hurt- instant bruise- so I asked, probably in a shouty, pained voice, who had shoved a massive bottle of juice into the fridge door where it didn't fit and just forced it shut? Husband came out and said "I put the juice there, so what did you do that made it fall??" I demonstrated how tithe juice didn't fit and pointed to my swelling foot. He puffed himself right up and glared at me, then stomped off up the stairs. That was enough for me so I went to the bottom and shouted after him to stop behaving like a miserable bloody teenager and making everyone else suffer for his bad day. I said that he is a grown man and can stop this juvenile behaviour because I married a grown man and not a fucking man child and I'm not here for it.

The result is that he has closed himself in the bedroom and is sulking big time. He has only said "do you even realise what you just said?!"

Yes. Yes I do. That you're behaving like a twat and I don't like it. AIBU?

Amrad Sat 23-Feb-19 20:28:46

You are both BU.

HeathRobinson Sat 23-Feb-19 20:30:33

Wasn't he concerned about your foot?

Totaldogsbody Sat 23-Feb-19 20:37:59

No YANBU he is behaving like a teenager. A word of apology wouldn't have gone amiss. He put it in the fridge and left it knowing full well that it was likely to fall when someone openned the door. No wait YABU to teenagers he's acting like a bloody toddler. We all have bad days at work or school but we don't all take it out on our families good on you for calling him out on it.

WhoKnewBeefStew Sat 23-Feb-19 20:44:21

He’s been and was being unreasonable and behaving like a teenager... we all have bad days at work and it’s awful if you’ve got a shitty boss, but it’s not your fault and he shouldn’t be taking it out on you.

He should have instantly apologies for the juice dropping in your foot too, manners cost nothing, as they say

PengAly Sat 23-Feb-19 20:51:44

You were reasonable to lose your temper with him because his attitude sounded very immature. However, you should have spoken to him first about his behaviour and taking his stress out on you before it got to the point of turning into a big row.

ElizabethMountbatten Sat 23-Feb-19 21:26:03

I have spoken to him previously about taking out his work stress on others and he has apologised, but it continues!

PtahNeith Sat 23-Feb-19 21:38:53

Not a genuine apology if he continues with the same behaviour he was supposedly apologising for afterwards.

He's being a bully.

Did he even check on how your foot was?

CheshireChat Sat 23-Feb-19 22:17:22

He's snapping because he's stressed about work, you snapped because you were in pain and already aggravated by him. Honestly, it just sounds like life to me.

Once everyone's calmed down, I'd have a proper chat and explain no one owes him endless patience at home and he can't keep acting like an arse.

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