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In two minds about a move

(10 Posts)
JAMMFYesPlease Sat 23-Feb-19 19:58:41

Moving city and even country isnt usually a problem. But my DH has just been offered an interview with a company 3hrs drive away, which definitely means a move. This time I'm hesitant.

The only reason I'm not sure is because of our DDs. One is in school and the other in nursery and both completely settled. We've brought up moving to the 6yo in the past because an interview came up for another job a bit ago and the 6yo was in tears at the prospect of it. She just doesn't want to leave her friends even though we put the argument forward that she would make new friends. My DH didnt get the job in the end so the topic was left.

If it wasn't for my DDs, I'd move. It's as simple as that. We've both made big moves for each other's careers before. Now we live absolutely nowhere near family (and we wouldn't with this move) but that doesn't bother us.

AIBU to say no just because of the wish of the 6yo (and the fear that we wouldn't get DD2 into another nursery because there are huge waitlists everywhere in the country we're in (not UK)? With everything else being a pro, this seems like a small con since she makes friends easily and would definitely make friends at a new school.

Obsidian77 Sat 23-Feb-19 21:41:02

Big moves get harder as your kids get older. It's disruptive to their schooling and a big emotional upheaval.
What's the situation with your DH's work, does he need the new role (current one ending, boss a psycho etc) or is it just more appealing?

JAMMFYesPlease Sun 24-Feb-19 00:01:47

Definitely and that's what plays on my mind.

Admittedly the job would offer much more stability. Right now, we both work freelance from home. It's great for school holidays and snow days but if one of us has a bad spell it could be difficult (although we have savings purposely for that). He likes what he currently does but is thinking "just in case."

JAMMFYesPlease Sun 24-Feb-19 00:02:26

And thanks for commenting Obsidian (pressed enter too soon).

Muddysnowdrop Sun 24-Feb-19 00:04:15

Well will you have to move again for the next job? I don’t think moving once is a problem, but how often would you end up doing it?

Hotterthanahotthing Sun 24-Feb-19 00:05:30

If it weren't for the 6yr old would you go.If so do it.A 6yr old will make new friends but at 6 doesn't know this,you do.

JAMMFYesPlease Sun 24-Feb-19 00:16:09

Well will you have to move again for the next job? I don’t think moving once is a problem, but how often would you end up doing it?

No. This would be a full-time permanent role. The only reason to move next time would be if a promotion came up and if that happened, it would be the last because it's the very top he'd be able to go.

If it weren't for the 6yr old would you go.If so do it.A 6yr old will make new friends but at 6 doesn't know this,you do.

Yes, I would for the most part. I'd have some doubts but that comes with any move. And we have moved a lot!

JAMMFYesPlease Fri 29-Mar-19 22:27:14

Just wanted to update for those who kindly gave me a knock. DH got the job and we are moving. Telling our DDs went much better than we thought and, while DD1 doesn't want to move school, two of her friends reminded her that it means she'll get to make a lot of new friends and she's now excited about the idea. Were also close enough to visit her friends (and wed be coming back for the beach regularly in the summer).

This is long term and going to be the best thing for all of us. So thank you again!

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Fri 29-Mar-19 22:31:05

Unless your DD is exceptionally sensitive then I honestly think that at 6yo a move wouldnt be a major problem

The older children get then moving is definitely harder but at 6 then I wouldn't personally let that stop me if I was happy about everything else in relation to the move

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Fri 29-Mar-19 22:32:18

Sorry just realised this isn't a new thread and only appeared in 'active' due to your update

Good luck with the move OP x

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