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About this holiday situation?

(160 Posts)
HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 16:43:37

NC for this.

Im on holiday at the moment, After a stressful few months I decided I really needed a break for abit. I asked my friends but noone was able to come. I mentioned it to a friend I met through work and although we are not very close we do speak over whatsapp and we meet up occasionally, she was totally up for it and wanted to book right away.

Anyway I have been here 4 days now and she has barely spoken a word. She does not initiate any conversation. If I dont talk then she will not talk at all, and then she barely responds if I say anything. When she does respond its simply with “yes” “no” or “hmm.” Ive tried to speak to her but she sometimes doesnt respond at all. Ive asked her if everything is ok or if there is anything she wants to talk about but she just says no.

Its so bad that ive got friendly with other people here and tried to include her and they have asked me if she speaks english! If they ask her something she will not respond, so they will ask me to ask her and eventually she will but again its one word answers. Sometimes she will just laugh in response.

I havent seen her interact with anyone else here either, no other holiday makers and no staff so I dont think its personal to me.

Also she has only showered once since being here and without sounding rude wibu to address this with her as she is starting to smell as is the room?

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 17:27:36


newcamper Sat 23-Feb-19 17:30:00

How is she in work? Is she interactive there? Does she gave ASC?

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 17:38:02

She has always been quiet but she would speak but again mainly when spoken to but you could have a conversation with her. But Over these 4 days there has been no words other than one word answers.

babysharkah Sat 23-Feb-19 17:39:38

Sounds awful!

PinkiOcelot Sat 23-Feb-19 17:41:58

Weird. Perhaps try WhatsApp and she if she responds with that! How long do you have left?

flumpybear Sat 23-Feb-19 17:45:08

Go alone next time - I did this a few years back and it was lovely 😊

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 17:47:55

Coming back on wednesday thank god! there is no conversation in the evenings either. She just isnt speaking to anyone, its like ive come alone if im honest. Do I address the shower thing or just leave it? I dont want to upset or offend her.

BlueSkiesLies Sat 23-Feb-19 17:50:24

Maybe you both need some alone time?

Does she seem happy apart from the not speaking?

StealthPolarBear Sat 23-Feb-19 17:51:44

This is so odd

PumpkinPie2016 Sat 23-Feb-19 17:52:42

I wouldn't mention the shower thing.

To be honest, it sounds like you don't know eachother well enough to spend a week (or whatever) in close quarters.
Some people can find it really hard to make small talk - maybe she is one of them? Speaking over whatsapp is probably ok for her but she struggles in person.

At least you know not to book with her again.

Beebumble2 Sat 23-Feb-19 17:53:06

Poor you, it sounds dreadful. I wouldn’t say anything about the lack of showering, it could make the situation worse.
I’d have long showers several times a day and use loads of deodorant spray. Squirt the room when she’s not there.

Travis1 Sat 23-Feb-19 17:55:02

I’d honestly just do my own thing and leave her to it. Can’t be doing with that.

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 17:56:00

Ive left her to alone a few times. Shes been alone alot today but you expect to be able to atleast have a conversation with someone youve gone on holiday with. Its not just small talk, she isnt speaking at all.

Mouikey Sat 23-Feb-19 17:57:08

Have you asked her if she is enjoying herself and if it is what she expected? Or if there is anything you could do to help her enjoy it? You could always just say that it’s not what you expected and just tell her (kindly of course).

Only other thing I can think of is that she may have a hearing problem?

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 17:57:58

Ok I wont say anything about the shower. Its just the smell isnt pleasant as its 30 degrees here. I went out today hoping she would shower whilst I was gone thinking maybe she didnt want to whilst I was there or something... but she didnt 🤷‍♀️

TheGreatestShoeman Sat 23-Feb-19 18:00:04

To be honest I'd have to say something like 'ooh that shower is lovely, so relaxing! I'm just a popping down the shop, do you want to jump in while I'm out and then I'll grab a quick shower later?' If she says no I'd have to be more direct. It's rude to be smelly in a shared room so you're only evening the playing field! Whereabouts are you? Could you plan to go to busy bars in the evening? Or to a show or something that doesn't need much interaction?

CharlyAngelic Sat 23-Feb-19 18:00:43

WhatsApp her to see if you get a response that way.
Maybe go around smelling your own arm pits and say “Is that me ? “

TidyDancer Sat 23-Feb-19 18:00:57

I have a friend who was like this when we went on holiday to Italy a few years ago. She made the whole experience so utterly miserable. I stupidly agreed to go away with her again a year later thinking it would be a one off but it wasn't. She did the same thing again and ripped me off for food money that time as well.

Not surprisingly, I barely see her these days and she has never acknowledged how vile she was or apologised. And I still don't understand it.

GreyGardens88 Sat 23-Feb-19 18:03:44

Have you said or done something to offend her? Sounds like we are probably not getting the full story

jellybeanteaparty Sat 23-Feb-19 18:04:22

Is there a pool?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sat 23-Feb-19 18:04:39

Sounds grim, does she go in the sea or swimming pool? If not suggest you both go for a dip!

MrsAird Sat 23-Feb-19 18:05:54

"Hey X, our room is starting to smell a bit sweaty, I guess we should both have a shower today. Help yourself to my shampoo if you like. I'll be back in about an hour, just going to check bus times to (local attraction)".

HolidayQ Sat 23-Feb-19 18:06:58

I dont think I have offended her but like I said she isnt speaking to anyone at all? Even the other people we've met. Yes there is a pool. We are in cape verde.

StealthPolarBear Sat 23-Feb-19 18:07:42

Have you directly asked her what's going on? What happens when you ask a question like "what's the time" or "where do you want to go for dinner". Does she smile enigmatic ally? Mime?

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