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to not want to drive anymore....

(68 Posts)
Misslea19 Sat 23-Feb-19 11:14:58

Okay so I passed my test 3 months ago, my lessons went great without any major problems and I was over the moon when I passed. The main reason for me wanting to learn to drive was to be able to take my children on days out, I don’t need a car for work as it’s within walking distance so Monday to Friday I don’t drive, saturdays I sometimes drive but only locally and sundays just to get shopping. So I really don’t drive that much. Here comes my problem........ I keep stalling blush not every time and probably not as bad as I think, I overthink, ALOT! But yesterday I stalled pretty bad...... I was in a que of traffic waiting to turn right at a crossroads with a yellow box junction. The vehicle in front entered the box and I went to follow but stalled sad the front part of my car was on the box shock I quickly started again but then literally stalled straightaway blush the lights turned red then and the vehicle behind me was right behind me. I literally felt like everyone was looking at me probably thinking what an idiot. When my lights turned green again I was able to move off and got home fine. I’ve spent the night thinking it over, feeling like the worst person in the world. I feel so embarrassed and like a complete failure and like I shouldn’t even be driving and that I’ve let my children down. I’m not sure why I’ve posted this, I just needed to get it all out.....

Finfintytint Sat 23-Feb-19 11:19:55

Don’t worry. You’ve passed your test and been deemed fit for the road. It’s only been 3 months. Keep driving and your confidence will improve.

ApolloandDaphne Sat 23-Feb-19 11:21:32

You probably need to try and drive more often to get the techniques properly embedded.

It also could be your car. My DD2 kept stalling her first car. She then got a new one and has no issues driving it since.

Arnoldthecat Sat 23-Feb-19 11:21:41

Please dont stress about it. Even on todays seemingly aggressive and overccrowded roads, there is still some semblance of restraints and civility and people will not generally toot and bully you if you simply stall. Its all about practice practice practice.

Have you thoroughly assessed and adjusted your seat position? Maybe you need to sit back a bit more/modify your position so that you have better/finer control of that left pedal? Are you wearing sensible flat shoes/trainers when driving?

Pick and big supermarket car park late at night when closed and go practice,practice,practice where there is no pressure on you..

hidinginthenightgarden Sat 23-Feb-19 11:23:02

You are still very new at it. Put a P on your car. People will be more undertstanding.
I have been driving for 7 years and stall DH's car often.

TheSandgroper Sat 23-Feb-19 11:26:51

Give it a few months and practice lots. Go out early when the roads are quiet and you won't get so flustered. Clutches are tricky but it's a matter of getting to know it.

If all else fails, just sell what you have and go for an automatic. It's an easy fix.

My sil was similar and eventually brought an auto. She put a tomtom into it so she could take the kids to every park within a decent driving distance for the adventures.

Hairyporker Sat 23-Feb-19 11:28:32

Everyone has done something like that. No need for such am overreaction.

mummymeister Sat 23-Feb-19 11:30:48

All of my children have used P plates for the first year after passing their tests and it made a huge difference to the tolerance they receive from other motorists as people realise that you are still a new driver and learning the ropes. I think you are being really hard on yourself expecting to be able to be a perfect driver after only 3 months. My driving instructor always said you don't actually learn to drive until after you pass your test and you aren't a competent driver until at least a couple of years in. don't give up, give the P plates a try and don't stress about it.

CatstorTroy Sat 23-Feb-19 11:36:02

Stalled six times in a row in rush hour once after a car tried to let me out. Was pretty embarrasing when i realised id left it in 5th
blush

Whatsnewpussyhat Sat 23-Feb-19 11:36:10

Don't stop. In fact you should drive more. Yes to P plates.
Assuming you had your lessons in a different car you are now driving it will take a while to get used to.
I have driven for more than half my life but I have an old banger and if I ever need to drive DP's car I stall and give myself whiplash when I use the brakes.

ChoudeBruxelles Sat 23-Feb-19 11:37:45

Can’t you go for some short drives during the week just for practise

MereDintofPandiculation Sat 23-Feb-19 11:37:49

If all else fails, just sell what you have and go for an automatic. Yes. It makes town driving so much easier. You can concentrate on signs and traffic. (And feel smug when you leave manuals behind at the traffic lights as they go up the gears.) It transformed me - like you, I was scared of stalling.

You can always have more lessons in a few years time if you feel you'd like to go back to manual - driving lessons are so much easier if you don't have to worry about a test. But with electric cars on the visible horizon, manual gear changing may be on its way out anyway.

DontTouchTheMoustache Sat 23-Feb-19 11:37:54

P sticker on your car, people will understand. If you really cant get used to it get an automatic, you cant stall them

Whisky2014 Sat 23-Feb-19 11:38:22

If you're going to stall quickly put the clutch in. Make sure when you're coming to lights you move down into 1st gear and take off again from 1st gear.
I think you need to increase driving just to get your experience up.

Whisky2014 Sat 23-Feb-19 11:39:19

And do not think about the people in vehicles behind you. They will have done exactly the same as you before and they just have to wait. The more you panic, the more you'll make mistakes

buttyblahblah Sat 23-Feb-19 11:43:34

I've been driving for 20 years and frequently stall DH's car. Finally realised it's because I can't reach the clutch properly.

Don't worry about it, everyone does it at some point, no one else will still be thinking about it.

Zwischenwasser Sat 23-Feb-19 11:46:00

Meh. I passed my test in the late 1980s. Driven daily ever since.

Stalled twice yesterday.
(New ish car with a super quiet engine)

Don’t sweat it. When I see a driver struggling and stalling I just drop back to give myself a bigger braking distance and don’t give it much thought. I live near a big driving school, it’s crawling with learners on my street.

MrsPinkCock Sat 23-Feb-19 11:48:26

As PPs have said, get P plates!

I drive an automatic... might be worth considering for your next car too.

If it’s really knocked your confidence, ring your instructor and explain and have a couple more lessons so they can tell you where you’re going wrong!

gubbsywubbsy Sat 23-Feb-19 11:50:05

Get an auto !!👌🏻

PixiKitKat Sat 23-Feb-19 11:51:53

I wouldn't worry about it! When I'd just passed my test I stalled so badly at traffic lights that the green Man was about to go again! No one beeped either which I was amazed at as I was at the front and just wasted their time

PeterPiperPickedWrong Sat 23-Feb-19 11:52:56

I’ve been driving pretty much daily for nearly 30 years and the other day, trying to overtake a bus, I stalled -TWICE- as I somehow stuck it in 3rd gear instead of 1st.
I was cringing with embarrassment but only until the car that was behind me turned off.
It happens.
You need to drive more, once you have more practice not only will it happen less but it will also build your confidence up. Don’t give up- you passed, you are able to drive safely and stalling isn’t the end of the world.

littledoll33 Sat 23-Feb-19 11:59:01

Awwww you poor thing. What you're doing sounds fairly normal! grin

I had been driving for a YEAR and I still did stuff like that.

Bless you OP, you'll be fine flowers

Passing the test is only the BEGINNING of your driving career!

I think the more things you keep doing a bit wrong (in the early days,) the better a driver you will become eventually.

Do get 'P' plates as suggested. Other drivers will cut you some slack then. smile (Well hopefully!)

If you ARE 19 @misslea19 then well done for passing at 19! I was 29, and it was my 5th attempt in 5 years at the time!

talktoo Sat 23-Feb-19 11:59:37

Have done more lessons. There is nothing stopping you from having lessons even when you have your license.

Firstbornunicorn Sat 23-Feb-19 12:01:09

I bet you learned in a diesel and are now driving a petrol!!!

This happened to me sooooo many times when I made the switch from diesel to petrol, and even now, I can barely drive a petrol car without stalling it dozens of times within the first hour. You need to balance acceleration and clutch on a petrol car, where a diesel will just take off with minimal acceleration just beyond the biting point.

GummyGoddess Sat 23-Feb-19 12:03:56

Everyone stalls occasionally, and everyone has done something embarrassing. I think my worst was when I was coming out of a T junction, both lanes of traffic stopped for me and I stalled. Then I got stressed as I was blocking three lanes of traffic and stalled again.

You're new at this and you will get better. You might get better more slowly than others as you drive less, but that doesn't mean you're worse than other new drivers.

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