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Mansplaining

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Grammarist Sat 23-Feb-19 00:53:56

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick smile

saccade Sat 23-Feb-19 06:31:37

sharedThismonth - the ad hominem attack sort of belies your security in your position. Nevertheless:

You said:

"Except, it isn't true. Men might be more likely to have more senior and lucrative roles but I'll happily keep asking for concrete proof of how this is the "patriarchy" and not men (on a population level) being more adept at certain roles and these being better paid."

Where is your proof that men's greater adeptness to their roles is correlated with their higher pay?

You said:

"Agreeableness (I'll stick with my theme) is clearly less desirable when making large-value deals or managing large numbers of people. Men exhibit this trait more than women. Successful men exhibit this trait more than less successful men. Successful women exhibit this trait more than unsuccessful men and most women. Does this make sense?"

Apart from your choice of the word 'clearly' - where is your proof that 'agreeableness' is a less desirable trait when making large-value deals or managing large numbers of people?
How are you defining 'agreeableness'?

You said:

"Men tend to need less sleep enabling them to do more (like Lady Thatcher)"

I've found that's derived from this study:
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-need-more-sleep-because-of-their-complex-brains-research-suggests-a6925266.html

In which it is noted:

'Women tend to require more sleep than men because of their “complex” brains, according to research.
However, men who have complex jobs which involve a lot of “decision-making and lateral thinking” are also likely to need more sleep than the average male.'

You said:

"they tend to have less regard for others' feelings enabling them to make difficult decisions."

How are you defining difficult? How are you judging the outcome of the decisions, compared to those made by people who have more regard for others' feelings? Are you saying people with more regard for others' feelings have less 'difficult-decision' -making capacity, or that the outcome of those 'difficult decisions' is poorer? If the latter - again, by what standard are you measuring the outcome of those decisions? If the former - can you elaborate what this looks like in practice, with reference to studies?

You said:

We live in a capitalist meritocracy. That might not suit all women (or all men) but don't blame society for being mean and unfair. Be better.

Let's unpick that. What would a capitalist meritocracy reward? What traits are meretricious?

I would love to know your thoughts.

araiwa Sat 23-Feb-19 06:32:39

Are only experts allowed to post?

saccade Sat 23-Feb-19 06:38:18

- and, re your comment on 'agreeableness' - how are you defining 'successful'?

BruceAndNosh Sat 23-Feb-19 06:42:51

I'm not sure about the precise meaning of mansplaining, but I know what a pompous git is

picklemepopcorn Sat 23-Feb-19 06:47:03

How ironic.

Soubriquet Sat 23-Feb-19 06:51:56

show him this

A man tried to mansplain a womans anatomy. And when proved wrong by a gynaecologist, insisted he was still right as it was more known as vagina than vulva and refused to accept he was wrong

redexpat Sat 23-Feb-19 06:51:59

Shared wants an example of mansplaining.

www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-tries-to-explain-what-a-vagina-is-to-a-gynaecologist-it-does-not-go-well/

redexpat Sat 23-Feb-19 06:52:51

X post Soubriquet!

Soubriquet Sat 23-Feb-19 06:54:11

X post indeed gringrin

Great minds think alike wink

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 23-Feb-19 06:57:41

Oh.. as a corollary to saccades's post - if being agreeable = success then how does having less regard for others' feelings enabling them to make difficult decisions. square with that?

Agreeably lacking in empathy? Can't see that myself, but I suppose it does rely on your definition of agreeable.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer Sat 23-Feb-19 07:04:56

Here is a good article about mansplaining, it's from 2016 but still relevant! (It's not a DM link)

StreetwiseHercules Sat 23-Feb-19 07:09:27

“DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...”

Exploding is a ridiculous reaction. Did he really do this?

That said, “mansplaining” is a media construct which perpetuates divide and conquer. The fundamamental behind it is the concept that men are exclusively patronising towards women.

Anyone who thinks that’s true should try working where I work, or try being a man out and about in daily live with his children.

Shoxfordian Sat 23-Feb-19 07:11:54

Here's some more examples from buzzfeed

www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/beatrizserranomolina/mansplaining-work-stories

Is your husband usually such a knob op?

sharedThisMonth Sat 23-Feb-19 07:12:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. PBP and troll

StreetwiseHercules Sat 23-Feb-19 07:12:52

“By putting 'man' in front of any adjective, you're making it sexist.”

Indeed. Using protective chracteristics as a pejorative obviously demonstrates prejudice and is quite wrong.

Anyone who chooses to overlook that because they quite like it is letting themselves down.

sharedThisMonth Sat 23-Feb-19 07:14:45

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

maddening Sat 23-Feb-19 07:17:14

Sharedthismonth - are you male or female?

sharedThisMonth Sat 23-Feb-19 07:17:25

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Thegoodthere Sat 23-Feb-19 07:17:54

All the men getting their dicks in knots over this thread are hilarious.

Denying mansplaining while actually doing it.

sharedThisMonth Sat 23-Feb-19 07:19:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

StreetwiseHercules Sat 23-Feb-19 07:19:38

@sharedThisMonth
😀

StreetwiseHercules Sat 23-Feb-19 07:20:58

“All the men getting their dicks in knots over this thread are hilarious.

Denying mansplaining while actually doing it.”

Except that women are saying the same thing. Try again.

SaturdayNext Sat 23-Feb-19 07:21:56

I love the bit in that article about mansplaining to a gynaecologist where Bullen says "But it is interesting that dictionaries do not record the broader meaning of vagina.". The gynaecologist says he's wrong, hundreds of owners of vaginas say he's wrong, even the dictionary says he's wrong, but all of that is just "interesting" and he's still right. Classic!

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 23-Feb-19 07:25:19

Is that what I said? If I did then it was a typo. Pretty clear if you read the rest of my post. It is. How a typo? I double checked that Saccade had quoted you correctly!

I still wonder at the cognitive dissonance of those two statements!

That last part was unecessary, don't you think? You could have made any point you wanted to without having to sneer!

sharedThisMonth Sat 23-Feb-19 07:34:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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