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AIBU?

Mansplaining

349 replies

Grammarist · 23/02/2019 00:53

Just had a discussion with the ever-lovely DH where I mentioned that a female friend of mine (an eminent Professor in her field) was a target of mansplaining via a live TV interview recently.

DH exploded at me. Mansplaining apparently isn't real and I shouldn't think that it is...

Hmmm.... I think he may be doing it to me. Dick Smile

OP posts:
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RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 23/02/2019 01:03

ask him what it means Grin

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rosablue · 23/02/2019 01:07

So what did he call the mansolaining treatment your clever Prof friend was on the end of?

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Surfingtheweb · 23/02/2019 01:09

Oh it's a thing, it's definitely a thing 😂

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PersonaNonGarter · 23/02/2019 01:11

Love this. Too funny. Ask him to explain it to you in words of one syllable.

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Grammarist · 23/02/2019 01:15

He really is something else. Apparently mansplaining is a way in which 'they' are trying to bring down the scientists. The male ones. What the actual fuck?!?!

I then tried to explain to him what it meant and was told that I clearly didn't understand and that what it really meant was what he said.

Yes. Yes, me with my double degree, postgrad qualifications and highly-skilled job doesn't get it. I'm clearly so dumb... ffs!

OP posts:
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justilou1 · 23/02/2019 01:25

Maybe you should explain (using very small words, of course) that until he realises that he’s just mansplained to you that celibacy is a thing, too.

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justilou1 · 23/02/2019 01:26

And womansplain celibacy as well...

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CheerioHunter · 23/02/2019 01:32

God, another example of womoaning Grin

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Grammarist · 23/02/2019 01:33

Noooo. Clearly I can't tell him as he's just right and I'm dumb to buy into the concept. Then leap to a ten minute rant about what I 'should be' thinking and how I'm clearly misguided.

I think that I'll think for myself, actually. It's done me rather well in my professional life, thank you very much.

Personal life - maybe I need to question my judgement. Maybe someone should tell me how/what I should do in that area

(...smacks my head repeatedly against a wall...)

OP posts:
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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 02:35

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Monty27 · 23/02/2019 04:35

Womansplain and womoaning
GrinGrin

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Monty27 · 23/02/2019 04:41

You sound very arrogant OP. Not for me to say, your DP sounds inebriated tired as in not thinking clearly Confused

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BitOfFun · 23/02/2019 04:49

But it ISN'T the same as being patronising: it is specifically referring to the socially-inculcated sense of superiority that men demonstrate towards women in a patriarchal system which privileges male bletherings over women's education, experience, and expertise.

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 04:55

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 04:58

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echt · 23/02/2019 05:05

Apparently it does, shared ThisMonth:

Can't quite decide whether your'e being too lazy thick or goady not have googled this:

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Womansplaining

It is a knee jerk response to the more pervasive phenomenon of mansplaining, white on black racism, men on women sexism.

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 05:14

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Mummyoflittledragon · 23/02/2019 05:19

sharedthismonth
Sounds as if you are blethering yourself.

In society today what males and male bodied people say carries more weight than that of females and female bodied people. Their labour attracts more money and they are more likely to be promoted and offered more senior / lucrative roles. Society is set up so that men have more of a right to speak their minds, impose, their views whilst expecting women to appease, back down and compromise.

We are living in a patriarchy. Mansplaining is a useful term. Not one I’ve yet used myself and I understand exactly what the op means and I really don’t understand these comments.

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echt · 23/02/2019 05:23

I'm not 'lazy thick' although I do like the term (you should hyphenate it)
No, it needed a comma, so we're both wrong.

Urbandictionary isn't usually seen as a reliable source You're the one who couldn't be arsed to look it up.

Some lazy-thick posters attacked someone on a thread here last week when they described something as misandrous. Apparently it "doesn't exist" and simply mentioning it is goady. Was it you or is there a common theme?

Nah, because 1) it wasn't me, as you would know if you could be bothered looking back the thread you cited, 2) It is, apparently a word.

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echt · 23/02/2019 05:28

Oh, and welcome to MN, sharedThisMonth.

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 05:31

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 05:43

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pissedonatrain · 23/02/2019 06:05

@sharedThisMonth
Are you an expert on this topic?

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sharedThisMonth · 23/02/2019 06:26

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saccade · 23/02/2019 06:31

sharedThismonth - the ad hominem attack sort of belies your security in your position. Nevertheless:

You said:

"Except, it isn't true. Men might be more likely to have more senior and lucrative roles but I'll happily keep asking for concrete proof of how this is the "patriarchy" and not men (on a population level) being more adept at certain roles and these being better paid."

Where is your proof that men's greater adeptness to their roles is correlated with their higher pay?

You said:

"Agreeableness (I'll stick with my theme) is clearly less desirable when making large-value deals or managing large numbers of people. Men exhibit this trait more than women. Successful men exhibit this trait more than less successful men. Successful women exhibit this trait more than unsuccessful men and most women. Does this make sense?"

Apart from your choice of the word 'clearly' - where is your proof that 'agreeableness' is a less desirable trait when making large-value deals or managing large numbers of people?
How are you defining 'agreeableness'?

You said:

"Men tend to need less sleep enabling them to do more (like Lady Thatcher)"

I've found that's derived from this study:
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/women-need-more-sleep-because-of-their-complex-brains-research-suggests-a6925266.html

In which it is noted:

'Women tend to require more sleep than men because of their “complex” brains, according to research.
However, men who have complex jobs which involve a lot of “decision-making and lateral thinking” are also likely to need more sleep than the average male.'

You said:

"they tend to have less regard for others' feelings enabling them to make difficult decisions."

How are you defining difficult? How are you judging the outcome of the decisions, compared to those made by people who have more regard for others' feelings? Are you saying people with more regard for others' feelings have less 'difficult-decision' -making capacity, or that the outcome of those 'difficult decisions' is poorer? If the latter - again, by what standard are you measuring the outcome of those decisions? If the former - can you elaborate what this looks like in practice, with reference to studies?

You said:

We live in a capitalist meritocracy. That might not suit all women (or all men) but don't blame society for being mean and unfair. Be better.

Let's unpick that. What would a capitalist meritocracy reward? What traits are meretricious?

I would love to know your thoughts.

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