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To think this is not normal (gynaecology)

(26 Posts)
SmallProblem123 Fri 22-Feb-19 22:57:32

For as long as I can remember I've had a really narrow vagina. I can only use extra small tampons and they still hurt. Speculums make me cry and scream in agony.

I went to the doctors about this years ago and was told it'd improve after having kids. I have 3 children and all were born by cesarean, so I've never given birth.

It's worse now. Starting sex is agonising and has me in tears although after a few minutes it stops hurting and feels fine. My husband commented about it and has mentioned that I am unusually tight.

This probably sounds like a non issue but it causes me lots of pain.

I'm not nervous or anxious. I don't have trauma around sex.


Aberforthsgoat Fri 22-Feb-19 22:59:55

There’s a condition that causes this although I can’t remember the name? Vaginismus? To do with the tightening of the muscles

You should speak to your doctor again I believe you can get dilators to help. Also using lubrications for tampons and sex if you don’t already

NameChangeMcgee Fri 22-Feb-19 23:01:54

It's not a non-issue, it could be vaginismus. There's things that can be done to help (dialators and such). Please get a gynecologist referral so they can help you. flowers

Mumofaprinny Fri 22-Feb-19 23:04:15

No it doesn’t sound great to be honest. If I was you I would go to the doctors and continue to go back until you get some answers!💕

50shadesofbeige Fri 22-Feb-19 23:06:18

I was going to suggest vaginismus as well. I had a friend at university who had symptoms exactly the same as you described and that’s what she was diagnosed with. Your GP should be able to advise, maybe try another doctor at your practise if you have been fobbed off before? Remember it isn’t a non-issue if it’s bothering you and you deserve answers flowers

SmallProblem123 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:08:15

Can it be vaginismus if I can have sex? After the first bit it's fine.

However the next time the first bit will be painful again. And speculums and tampons are always painful. I realised it wasn't normal when I bought larger tampons for heavy days and was horrified by the size, then realised it's obviously me who's got the problem here. sad

BaileyD222 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:31:26

Go to docs, they have 'training sets' you can see online when googling the mentioned condition. Also could it be a nervous thing? I have agony with speculums and tampons are uncomfortable for me too, sex is usually fine but sometimes it's literally impossible as it's too tight and painful for both of us, and it's really unexplained but supposedly is down to nerves? I have past traumatic experience from surgery and it all began then so it can be things like that.

Aberforthsgoat Fri 22-Feb-19 23:31:35

I think yes it can be because of the fact it’s painful at first then when you relax it’s ok
I think there can be different severities from people who can’t have sex at all to people who can have sex with a bit of discomfort etc
Go back to your doctor, they are the only ones who will be able to help here and insist that they take you seriously/ refer you if necessary

73kittycat73 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:41:15

I had to have a biopsy last year and the Dr commented on how small I was. I guess some of us are just built that way? I can sympathise OP, any sex I've had was difficult and painful. Maybe that's the reason why?

SmallProblem123 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:45:01

I'm not nervous about sex or penetration and there's no issue I can trace it back to. It's always been this way.

I'll ask them again if there's anything they can do. It's tight to the extent that sometimes DH complains of pain and has (tmi) torn his skin because of it. confused

iabvvu Fri 22-Feb-19 23:49:51

I have literally the exact same thing - this could have been written by me!
Does anyone know if vaginismus is an indication for C-section? I have no children yet but I know that I defo wouldn't be able to push one out, the thought makes me cringe

SmallProblem123 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:52:28

You can have a cesarean for any reason. You are allowed to choose one so you would be allowed.

Haworthia Fri 22-Feb-19 23:55:58

I think I am rather “petite” and unstretchy.

When I first became sexually active it was agonisingly painful. Not vaginimus. Eventually bought a toy to gradually get used to something larger than a tampon (I never had issues with tampons personally). Even managed to use a Mooncup.

Gave birth - third degree tear. Never went near a Mooncup again. Sex painful. My last smear was awful.

SmallProblem123 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:59:12

I cried during my last smear.

I do have a very small frame. I wonder if I am just naturally like this.

Unicornfeathers Sat 23-Feb-19 00:05:33

It sounds like vaginismus - there is so much that can be done to help the condition but you do need to find an understanding doctor.

The ‘fear’ could stem from something you aren’t even consciously aware of and I knew of someone who experienced it from a bad experience with a tampon as a teenager. It’s not necessarily a big issue that triggers it but it can be vicious cycle - you expect to be tense and in pain so you are if that makes sense. It’s not something you have control of but with the right support you can interrupt the cycle and slowly change things.

Good luck

FermatsTheorem Sat 23-Feb-19 00:08:55

Sounds like vaginismus to me too - I suffered from that when I was younger. It can be sorted out (what helped me out was using a diaphragm for contraception - learning to put that in and take it out gave me a sense of where everything was inside me and how to relax my muscles).

Stormy76 Sat 23-Feb-19 00:15:51

The docs will refer you to Gynae, in the mean time use loads of lube because that may feel more comfy and relax you more

SmallProblem123 Sat 23-Feb-19 00:34:55

Thanks. Lube doesn't help much it's not dry it just feels like there's not enough space

DanielRicciardosSmile Sat 23-Feb-19 00:48:19

You can have vaginismus even if you don't feel nervous - it's largely a physical response to a subconscious trigger. Your body is remembering the pain from last time and tensing up without you actually being aware of it. I suffered from it in my early 20s and it definitely had the same symptoms as you're describing.

Dohee Sat 23-Feb-19 00:58:57

Well since you've had smears, have the nurses said anything about it?

SmallProblem123 Sat 23-Feb-19 01:11:21

They've mentioned before that it's difficult to get a speculum in but when I told them how painful it is they just said that it shouldn't be.

ionlylovemybedandmymama Sat 23-Feb-19 10:32:35

I'm like this op.

Having a smear I always ask for the smallest speculum. There is zero chance of getting a larger one in without me screaming.

My dc were born via c section as I simply didn't dilate.

Tampons I use the applicator tampons and lube if necessary.

Sex is always painful at the start. Less so if I have a drink and my muscles relax a bit more.

FermatsTheorem Sat 23-Feb-19 10:39:53

I think there's a myth that vaginismus is always psychological or the result of some pre-existing trauma.

That certainly wasn't the case for me - I was well up for PIV sex first time. It'd been preceeded by several months of non-penetrative sex which I'd really enjoyed. Just didn't work right when we tried it.

Then I think you get a negative feedback loop. It hurt, so you tense in anticipation next time, which makes it hurt more, which makes you tense more. Nothing psychological (in the sense of emotional trauma), just a simple reinforcement of a reflex response to pain. But that response can be "untrained" with the right exercises (usually dilators).

Do go to the GP, and be prepared to search for a GP/HCP who actually understands. (The first doctor I went to suggested I read "The Joy of Sex", which strikes me as a bit like getting a patient with severe nausea and reflux, and suggesting they go and buy a gourmet cookbook!)

Blondebakingmumma Sat 23-Feb-19 11:08:38

I could have written this too. I saw a physio who gave me exercises and also did some internal massage. The physio suggested bringing hubby to learn how to massage too. Also a dilator. I am exactly the same, accept I’ve never been able to insert a tampon- too uncomfortable 😣

KatnissKringle Sat 23-Feb-19 11:22:39

Hm interesting. I have never been able to use tampons and find smears very painful, even after having a baby (I was told it would get better then too). I tore severely during childbirth and really struggled to push- it was agonisingly painful. Always thought this was all normal! I am ok with sex though. Sorry, not really helping here but was interested to read these responses! I hope you figure it out OP!

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