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WWYD: anniversary dinner and endless talk of bleeding bowels..

(44 Posts)
Shiklah Fri 22-Feb-19 22:55:28

DH and I rarely grab a moment for ourselves, tonight he booked a restaurant above a gastro pub for our anniversary whilst DC had a party. We were told on arrival that the restaurant was shut due to staff illness so we were in the pub which was very full. Stuck on a table in the draft near the door a table of 3 was seated next to us. They were shouting and making a big fuss as soon as they sat down and one man loudly told the waitress about a recent operation. As our food arrived the man launched into a detailed description with graphic details, at high volume, of his bowel movements and his bleeding rectum. Dh and I are farmers and fairly robust, we tried to ignore it but it was absolutely gross. He continued for over 30 minutes. It was unbelievable.

I found a waitress and complained and after 25 minutes they moved us. I didn't eat any of my main and had a pudding and a cocktail in the other room. When they brought the bill we asked for a discount but they said they couldn't control what other customers talked about. I said that I felt given they knew we had booked for a special occasion, and the man was vocal about his medical condition to the waitress it was obvious we would be uncomfortable. DH said he wanted to speak to the owner tomorrow (he wasn't in tonight), and as they know us we left. We'll speak to them tomorrow.


Pay in full? Not pay at all? Pay for the puddings and drinks?:

OwlinaTree Fri 22-Feb-19 22:59:17

Sounds like you had a rubbish night. Sympathies to you, very disappointing.

Did you ask them to be a bit quieter or ask the waitress to ask them?

Janleverton Fri 22-Feb-19 22:59:50

well they have a point - can’t really police conversation, and the waitress isn’t to know that you’d find it so off-putting as to not eat your food.

confused8 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:00:31

They moved you. They are right that they can't really control what others talk about. I would definitely pay in full.

categed Fri 22-Feb-19 23:01:36

Pay in full tbh. Dd either of ypu ask tge very loud people to quieten down?
Whilst it seems to have ruined your meal the staff tried to move you when a space became available and they are a hard place with the other custmer.
Pay now speak to manager tomorrow.

ChakiraChakra Fri 22-Feb-19 23:01:57

Did you say anything at a time that something could have been done? Either to the table or the waitress? If you didn't, YABU in wanting a discount.

whitehorsesdonotlie Fri 22-Feb-19 23:01:58

I’d have had a word with the customer. It’s not the restaurant’s fault - they can’t be expected to police the conversations of customers!

anniehm Fri 22-Feb-19 23:03:49

The subject matter of a neighbouring table whilst unfortunate is not the restaurants fault. I would expect to pay in full but perhaps the restaurant may offer a little incentive to return perhaps

Outnotdown Fri 22-Feb-19 23:03:52

I think you should get a discount for having to eat in the pub rather than the restaurant. Pay for everything but the mains. Sorry your night was ruined

CurbsideProphet Fri 22-Feb-19 23:04:05

I would have made it clear that I couldn't sit and while listening to a stranger discuss their bowels, in the hope he changed his topic of conversation. Otherwise I would have cancelled the order and left, in the hope that we would laugh about it later!

GinandGingerBeer Fri 22-Feb-19 23:09:50

I think you should pay, the restaurant dealt with your complaint by moving you.

I would have talked very loudly about the problems I was having with FISHY VAGINAL DISCHARGE AND BOILS ON MY HAIRY ARSE though to get them to STFU.

Shiklah Fri 22-Feb-19 23:11:33

We asked them to quiet down but it was water off a ducks back. They were an odd group. He was wearing a shell suit and had greasy grey hair in a ponytail that went down his back and a cow boy hat. Maybe he needed the elasticated waist to give easy access to the toilet grin

It really was extreme. We're farmers and used to lavatorial humour and conversation around the dinner table but this was a 30 minute long detailed description of bowel problems following and operation whilst I was served a rare filet steak! OMG I can't stop laughing, DH thinks I've lost the plot.

I'll see what the manager says tomorrow, we'll happily pay, but perhaps not return!

MardyMavis Fri 22-Feb-19 23:18:06

Fuck that dont pay in full, they moved you for a start and plus the waitress should have told him to stfu when he was droning on anyway.

DishingOutDone Fri 22-Feb-19 23:26:48

If you had booked they should have rung you and said restaurant is closed do you want to transfer to pub area. They didn't they ruined your night, I'd ask for the bill to be waived or a free meal provided.

LaReina19 Fri 22-Feb-19 23:41:48

What are you going to say to the owner tomorrow when you talk to them, the same as what you said to the waitress?
Obviously your night didn't go as planned. And it's very inconsiderate of the man to be talking loudly about those things.

However. As a waitress, I don't feel as though a discount is justified.

itssoooofluffy Fri 22-Feb-19 23:50:11

They should have warned you in advance, but as you went ahead with your meal YABU and should pay in full. They can’t control what people talk about and they managed to accommodate you and move you even though the pub was very full.

BlueCornishPixie Fri 22-Feb-19 23:58:53

I think its really cheeky actually to ask for a discount because of the table next to you's topic of conversation.

Fair enough for being moved, but they're right they can't control the customers conversation. Why would you not go back? They moved you when they could and I don't see what else they can do.

It's not the restaurants fault and while annoying, it's one of those things that's out of everyone's control (apart from the man at the table).

BackforGood Sat 23-Feb-19 00:09:40

Of course you can't expect a discount now.
You could have said 'no thanks' when they offered you a seat in the pub, and gone elsewhere or come back another time.
Or you could have moved far earlier, rather than listening to something you found offensive for so long.
The fact you didn't eat your main isn't the fault of their food, nor their staff.
The waitress is right that they can't control other customers' topics of conversation.
You are being rude to expect them to discount your bill after the event, when there is nothing they can do to put it right. When you asked, they did what they could to accommodate you - not their fault you didn't ask earlier.

LunafortJest Sat 23-Feb-19 12:33:49

Well it was a gastro pub. Whatever the f that is?? Surprised they weren't talking about norovirus considering the type of pub - sorry, I have to be honest, I have never heard of the term 'gastro pub' before tonight. Can someone explain to me what it actually is?

The waitress while not able to control conversation should have explained to the group quite firmly that they are in a restaurant (or 'gastro pub'?) and perhaps people don't want to hear about someone's bowel in great detail at least at such a loud volume, and insist they keep their voices down. It should be her job to ensure customers aren't subject to shouting and screaming, one would think she'd at the very least tell them to keep it down a few notches. So because the waitress was not prepared to ask them to lower their volume, I feel you should get a discount.

Dontsweatthelittlestuff Sat 23-Feb-19 12:40:36

What is wrong with talking about bowels. If more people did colon and bowel cancers would not be the third largest killer.

If the people in question were being so loud then you always had the option of either asking the waitress or asking them yourselves to keep the volume down but you don’t get to police the contents of their conversation.

DanielRicciardosSmile Sat 23-Feb-19 12:41:58

Why are people saying the waitress should have made the man stop talking about his bowel problems? She's paid (probably very poorly) to take orders and bring out food. She's not a bouncer or master of ceremonies.

Toddlerteaplease Sat 23-Feb-19 13:04:57

My first thought was also "It' s a gastro pub"

I'm a nurse so talk like that wouldn't put me off at all. Bit cheeky to ask for a refund. You were moved.

JudgeRindersMinder Sat 23-Feb-19 13:10:56

Why on earth didn’t you have a word with the guy yourself? No need to be rude but a “Im sure you don’t want us knowing all about your medical problems” probably would have done.
No reason for you to not pay your bill

Nanny0gg Sat 23-Feb-19 13:11:21


Around here, it's a nicely decorated pub, usually in a F&B type sage green and cream with food that is, in theory, better than pub grub but can sometimes (but not always) be a bit pretentious.

They would have a chef rather than a cook.

Quintella Sat 23-Feb-19 13:16:06

I'd try for a discount based on the fact you booked a table in the restaurant but were given a table in the pub instead. I'm afraid there's little the waitress can have been expected to do about Recto-Man and his arse leakage tales.

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