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Who’s being unreasonable.

(110 Posts)
Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 22-Feb-19 18:55:31

For background .... I live with DP, 2 dc, Mum and my sister (14) Just has an argument with my sister because she thinks she owns the house, he’s i know typical teenager...
I’ve just finished tidying, cooking, washing up and sat down to watch some recorded tv, she gets out of the bath and says
‘Once you’ve finished your programme I’m watching YouTube on the tv (we have a smart tv). First of all as a 30 year old I’m not appreciating the tone in which she spoke with me. she can watch YouTube on her iPad. I wouldn’t mind to much but she’s literally been at home all week not gone anywhere with her friends and been watching tv all week which is why I’m so behind. so she’s gone stomping upstairs stating I’m being unreasonable and is now blaring music to try piss me off but I’ve just closed the lounge door 😊 my mum has gone out with my aunt. The funny thing is she always pulls this level of shit when my mums goes out. She does act up when my mums here but not to the extent she does the minute she walks out the door.
So tell me who’s being unreasonable..... me because I wouldn’t let her watch something she can watch elsewhere and because she’s literally hogged the tv all week or her for being a selfish little madam?

longearedbat Fri 22-Feb-19 18:58:03

Sounds like you both need to grow up.

TyrionsNextWife Fri 22-Feb-19 19:00:49

It depends on the circumstances of you all living together. If you and dp moved in with her and your mum, she probably feels that you’re taking over and that she’s having to fit in with 4 extra people and that’s a pretty big deal.
Also, it’s only fair that she gets an equal say in what’s on the main tv, and she did say she wants to use the tv after you had finished your program - it’s not like she tried to turn if off half way through.

Just because you’re a lot older doesn’t mean that she should be seen and not heard.

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 22-Feb-19 19:01:04

What because I’m not letting a 14 year old walk all over me....

Nicknacky Fri 22-Feb-19 19:02:31

She said she was watching her programme after you watched yours. What’s wrong with that?

DisplayPurposesOnly Fri 22-Feb-19 19:03:25

Possibly you... I'm not sure of the problem really. She could've phrased her intentions less bossily. Did you point that out?

But she's planning to watch something after you've watched something. What's wrong with that?

DoneLikeAKipper Fri 22-Feb-19 19:04:09

Sounds like you both need to grow up.

I can’t really disagree with this. When you get into silly fights with a 14 year old (and try to drag the Internet into it), you’re not coming off much better in all honesty.

Sounds like you need to plan on moving out. Your poor mum must be fed up.

TyrionsNextWife Fri 22-Feb-19 19:04:31

Letting a 14 year old use the living room tv in her home is not being walked all over. You sound like you throw your weight around and expect her sister to ‘know her place’. If you don’t like the compromises that living with others requires, move out and get your own house. And sharing the commmunal tv is a perfectly reasonable compromise.

gobbynorthernbird Fri 22-Feb-19 19:06:00

What are the circumstances that led to your mum and sister moving in with your family?

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 22-Feb-19 19:06:06

No we have all lived together for years.... she does get a fair share on the main tv and I only usually get to watch it after 9 and she has been watching it from the moment she gets up to 10pm. I’ve not said nothing because it’s half term. But I’ve just put my foot down today. My mum even told her that I was watching the tv tonight because apparently I’ve got too much on there. We all watch tv on Saturday as it’s football followed by the Saturday night tv same with Sunday. I just wanted today to catch up a bit today...

Purpleartichoke Fri 22-Feb-19 19:07:07

You are siblings in your parent’s home. You have equal footing. She doesn’t need to treat you in any special way, just as another equal in the family.

A reasonable response on your part might be, “could you please watch that on your tablet. I’d really like to watch a second show tonight and need the tv to do it. “

Bluestitch Fri 22-Feb-19 19:07:11

Who's house is it?

Nicknacky Fri 22-Feb-19 19:07:27

You were unreasonable. Just share the tv, for crying out loud.

Quartz2208 Fri 22-Feb-19 19:08:15

Move out

IvanaPee Fri 22-Feb-19 19:08:58

Move out with your family.

You’re 30??? Read your post back.
At least she has the excuse of actually being a teenager!

StressedToTheMaxx Fri 22-Feb-19 19:09:02

Is it your mums home or it's it you and your dhs home?
If it's mums home you are just as entitled to watch the tv as she is and vice versa. So once you where done she wanted a turn. There shouldn't have been an issue.
If it's your and dhs home then you pay the bills and she can huff all she likes.

IvanaPee Fri 22-Feb-19 19:10:17

And I don’t see why you being older means you get more of anything.

Your mum yes but you? You’re just another sibling living there. You just have extras with you! wink

It must be hard for her to have to share her home with her sister’s boyfriend AND two children...

DoneLikeAKipper Fri 22-Feb-19 19:11:09

If it’s your mum’s house, you seriously need to move out. You sound 14 yourself. Then buy your own tablet to watch your programmes on.

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 22-Feb-19 19:13:40

@purpleartichoke
I did say to her could she use her tablet to watch YouTube.... it didn’t go down very well...
Her words....
‘You don’t own the tv so I’m going to watch you tube’ I told her she could watch it on the tablet as I don’t have my programs stored else where.
I know she’s a teenager and most are naturally moody, my mum said even I weren’t that bad when I was her age. She literally is the walking advert for moody teens 😊

ShawshanksRedemption Fri 22-Feb-19 19:13:55

Whose house it it? I'm guessing from your last post it's your mums, and you all live there. In which case you all get to share it and negotiate when you're watching. She did that (but could have been politer), you told her no as you felt it was still your turn after she's been on it most of the week.

To be honest, you both need to to sit down and work it out, not be abrupt/rude etc.

Some points to consider:
1. she behaves when it's your mum as I'm guessing it's her house. To her you're an annoying lodger. Perhaps time to move out OP?

2. Why hasn't she met with friends? Have you asked her if she is OK? Maybe there's stuff going on, and a chat may help.

LeadMeToTheChocolate Fri 22-Feb-19 19:14:44

Whose house is it??
If yours, then you should calmly explain that you have plans with the tv tonight. As you said, she could use the iPad.
If it’s your mums house, then you need to grow up and move out with your family.

TacoLover Fri 22-Feb-19 19:15:07

Why are you still living there?

DoneLikeAKipper Fri 22-Feb-19 19:19:46

@Sophisticatedsarcasm, why aren’t you answering questions like ‘who’s house are you living in’, ‘if it’s your mum’s, why don’t you move out’ and ‘do you not realise you have regressed into a teenager yourself’?

Bigonesmallone3 Fri 22-Feb-19 19:22:24

Sounds like a row I had with my sister when I was 15 and she was 14

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 22-Feb-19 19:23:13

We all contribute to the bills, generally we are not all here at the same time... it is my mums house in her name, I’ve never moved out as we have a big enough house for us all to fit in and we all contribute to bills etc, Mum owned her own house buy the time I was 15 . DS has autism and refuses to move unless we can move all together with my mum, not that I can afford to tbh, me and DP earn to much for benefits but not enough to afford a house especially here in the south east. So unless I win the lottery it ain’t happening. People can think what they want... I work mornings and my Mum looks after the kids and she works evenings 3 days per week and I (used to) watch my sister ... it generally works for us, yes thier are clashes and arguments but that happens in most family’s. My mum is incredibly close with my dc especially DS, he prefers her to DP. So yeah maybe I should have let her watch tv after my programmes, I just thought it was cheeky on her behalf seen as she’s literally been watching it all week...

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