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Not saying anything when answering the phone

(27 Posts)
Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 11:56:39

Someone I know who I have to ring reasonably regularly (volunteer related) doesn’t say hello or anything when they answer the phone. This is really disconcerting as I don’t know whether the answer phone is going to kick in or whether they can’t hear me... so I end up saying “Hello? Hello? Are you there?” and then they reply.

Sometimes I’ve just spoken normally (“Oh hi, I’m ringing to find out...”) and then the answer phone does kick in 🙄 .

Last time I said nothing either. Just waited for the potential answerphone message, which didn’t come, and then it turned into a game of who blinks first and after what seemed ages he finally said hello.

What’s he on, why does he do this, and am I being unreasonable to adopt the no speak either approach from now on?!

StinkySaurus Fri 22-Feb-19 11:57:57

Some cold calling software only kicks in if they hear someone speak. So they are probably just trying to avoid automated calls

modelthroughit Fri 22-Feb-19 11:59:43

I don’t say anything if it’s an unrecognised number, as I’m well aware it may be a call centre which only connects when you speak. I wait for the automated voice to speak - if my suspicions are confirmed, I hang up.

Might not be the same if you call regularly, but that’s why I’m sometimes silent when answering the phone.

HDready Fri 22-Feb-19 11:59:46

I know someone professionally who does this. They want you to start the call on the back foot. It’s a power play, and bloody rude!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Fri 22-Feb-19 12:01:00

I dont speak unless I recognise the number.

Its your job to introduce yourself to me if you are looking for business. I hate the whole spiel

- Hi is Mr Talking there
- no
- Is that Mrs Talking ?
- who are you
- Im calling about your accident

slam phone down

A lot of call centres only start once you speak - and Im not indulging them.

Samcro Fri 22-Feb-19 12:01:06

i don't speak unless I recognise the number, not wasting breathe on scam calls.

Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 12:01:39

He should know my number, I’ve been calling him for years.

HDready I suspect this is it. I need the information from him but he’s a bit of an arse about giving it.

So what do I do?

Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 12:04:43

Maybe I should just put the phone down instead and say I couldn’t get the information. That would mean someone else would ring him as I only volunteer on that day of the week (and it’s an end of the day total we need so can’t keep ringing and ringing if).

Don’t really want to pass the buck though.

Actually he does, or did, have my number under my name as I remember he asked how to spell it to put in his phone.

RomanyQueen1 Fri 22-Feb-19 12:08:08

I don't speak if someone calls the landline as it's usually a cold call that starts when you speak.

DandilionBreak Fri 22-Feb-19 12:09:57

If it's a withheld number, I don't speak first. I often don't bother even answering but if I do pick it up, I just listen. Could your number be withheld if you're phoning from work? If that's the case, he probably thinks its a nuisance call.

bingoitsadingo Fri 22-Feb-19 12:11:06

My dad does this because of cold callers, its bloody annoying.

Even if it is a cold caller, it's not like you save any time by not speaking!

blackteasplease Fri 22-Feb-19 12:17:30

Could be a power play. Could be trying to avoid cold callers.

I hate those companies who ask who you are before introducing themselves!

Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 12:19:51

DandilionBreak no i’m ringing from my own phone.

Slowknitter Fri 22-Feb-19 12:25:33

confused What do you gain by sitting there in silence waiting for a cold caller to start speaking? Certainly not time (or breath). Surely say hello, then slam phone down if is a cold caller. Baffling.

SaturdayNext Fri 22-Feb-19 12:35:50

I too don't see the point in keeping quiet in case it's a cold caller, principally because it makes you seem such a dick if it isn't. How hard can it be just to put the phone down if it turns out to be a cold caller?

TheMaddHugger Fri 22-Feb-19 12:43:09

Stop playing whos going to flinch first and just bloody say what you need to say

OI !!

Damntheman Fri 22-Feb-19 13:20:59

I would just ask him why he does it and see if he has a good answer for you or not. That would then dictate how I play further calls.

Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 19:14:30

Yes, I’ll ask him. Might embarrass him into speaking when he picks up!

StoneofDestiny Fri 22-Feb-19 21:41:21

If its a regular call, get him to call you with the information instead - or suggest he does as he clearly has issues with you ringing.

Nothingunpleasant Fri 22-Feb-19 22:27:25


OMG. I have no idea why I, or anyone really, didn’t think of that. So much easier to tell the other volunteers to text or mail their totals in when they are ready!

Thank you flowers

coolcateli Sat 23-Feb-19 06:26:31

I agree with StinkySaurus. With so many robocalls nowadays, it's normal for people to just pick up the phone and say nothing waiting for the other end to say hello. I also do that sometimes. However, I usually just ignore calls if I don't recognize the numbers. Look up the numbers on Google or sites like and block if people have reported them as scams. People should be selective nowadays. 90% of calls are robocalls from telemarketers or even scammers.

kbPOW Sat 23-Feb-19 06:29:22

it's normal for people to just pick up the phone and say nothing waiting for the other end to say hello

No, it's not.

Onceuponacheesecake Sat 23-Feb-19 06:34:07

I don't understand. Those of you that say nothing because the automated software only kicks in when you speak... What do you do then? Just silently listen on the phone like a plonker and wait to see what happens? For how long? Why not just say hello and if it is a nuisance call just hang up like a normal person confused

YANBU OP, sound like a weird power play to me.

Blackcherrylatte Sat 23-Feb-19 06:47:34

My ex does this, he's an arrogant arse. I just ignore it and say hello first because I can't be bothered with the pettiness of it. If someone has to fill up with voids in their serif esteem by not saying "hello" when they pick up the phone, they are pathetic and weak.

Blackcherrylatte Sat 23-Feb-19 06:48:39

*fill up the voids

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