AIBU to ask for divorce / Property / Legal advice? (Scotland)(8 Posts)
I would be so grateful for your help if you are knowledgeable in this area....
My mum is in a financially abusive relationship. Her husband has taken out credit in her name which he is refusing to pay off and controls the only income, which is his. He has already taken all her pension and inheritance.
They have a house in joint ownership that they are trying to sell, with a view to separating, but its quiet unquie and will take a while to get a buyer. In the meantime it seems they cant get a fin separation order. She has a separate house that she bought before the marriage - how (if at all) can she protect it, its the only assets she has left. If she changes ownership prior to a divorce can it still be split ina settlement - if he refuses to sell the house is there anything she can do?
I would be so grateful for any advice, I don’t know where to start, and neither does she.
Your Mum needs to take proper legal advice, but being in Scotland she may be able have the property she owned before the marriage excluded as one of the exclusions to the matrimonial property law (act?) is Property acquired by the parties prior to the marriage is excluded unless it was acquired with the intention that it be for family use.
Have they ever lived in it as a home together?
She should start with Women's Aid who may be able to help her escape, and may be able to point her in the direction of good legal help who are experienced in such matters.
Be aware that the most dangerous time in an abusive realtionship is when you leave so she should be aware that his abuse may step up if he feels he is losing control.
Get a good lawyer. I lost several thousand pounds as when I divorced I did not fight for every penny.
In my case the value of the house was included but not the value of all the furniture, carpets, paintings etc. Not a fortune but worth a few hundred.
Debts that I had run up buying stuff that my ex wanted were in my name so ignored.
Get your mum to really think about everything that has a value. (in my case we divorced because my ex got a younger boyfriend but if your mum has an abusive partner go for every penny she can)
He has no right to the property she bought before they were married as long as they did not live in it as a matrimonial home.
Your mum can go to court to get an order to force the sale of the jointly owned property.
Wow, thank you all so much for this.
They have never lived in the house she bought before the marriage and it was not intended as a joint residence, it was intended to be rented out to support her in her retirement, very much needed now has he has taken everything.
Woman’s Aid - I have suggested, but she is (was) a very assertive and ballsy woman, who isn’t now. She is to prideful to even engage with woman’s aid as she would have to fully accept she has been a victim. She’s struggling with that.
Before they moved to Scotland he took out a loan in her name, she hadn’t realised she was paying to off. She she did see it on her statement he denied it, even blaming it on his child (17 at the time) she foolishly forgave it and moved to Scotland. She had already used her pension to pay off his debts. She moved with him to Scotland where he has burnt out her credit rating taking out cards in her name, she is now retired so she can;t afford to pay them, and has to keep him happy or he wont pay them off. At the moment he is not refusing to sell the house but he is not co-operating. She cant clear her debt or buy anywhere else without money from the house. Finding a lawyer is hard as she has no money and she is scared to report him for anything until the house sells in case he drags his heels on the sale - for example trashing the house before a viewing etc.
Oh, and in the meantime he’s been having a 3 year affair.
Oh, does it make a difference that the house in her name is in the UK the shared house in is Scotland?
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