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To find this habit utterly infuriating?

(58 Posts)
Lipsticktraces Thu 21-Feb-19 16:33:35

Please give me your opinions as apparently I’m BU!

DH has a habit of pretending he’s going to do the opposite of what I want/ask him to do. For example I might say “shall we get the babies ready to go out?” (We have six month old twins) and he’ll reply “No, we’ll stay in” He’ll then repeat himself a few times when I say we have to do as I’ve suggested. Or I’ll ask him if he’s getting up and he’ll say “no I’ll stay in bed” even though he knows he’s getting up.

I’ve just hit the roof after he’s done it for the sixth time today when I asked if he’s taking dog a walk (his response was “No, I’ll stay here”) He’s told me he’s only joking and I have no sense of humour. Am I wrong in thinking there’s nothing funny about what he’s doing and it’s actually incredibly passive agressive?

rainydayinmarch Thu 21-Feb-19 18:11:17

I hate these 'jokes' which are, usually, perpetrated by a certain type of Middle Aged man. If there's an audience they glance around to make sure that everybody is suitably amused by their wit. I make sure that I stare back with cold, dead eyes.

I have to agree with this. So many men (often aged 40 to 60,) think they are fucking hilarious. My DH is a dear man, but his 'joking about' really gets on my tits, and he thinks he is soooooooo funny, and yeah, he says something 'funny' really loudly and looks around to see if someone is looking.

One example is when a cashier asks 'would you like cashback?' and DH ALWAYS says 'ONLY IF IT'S FREEEEEEEEEE!' grin

Every.

Fucking.

Time.

He thinks he is hilarious and quirky. The (female) cashier thinks he is a cunt. When I say 'ffs you say that every time! It's not funny...' He says 'well SHE smiled!' What he doesn't realise is that she is being polite. Deep down she thinks he's a nobhead, and he's the 50th middle aged man this week to try and be funny.

It's always with women too, never men.

But so many men (in this age group,) are the same. My daughter and her young female pals (aged 20-30) report tales of men like this - often at work. Middle aged men (usually portly and balding,) who think they are HILARIOUS and quirky, and that all the laydeez think they are amazingly charming and funny and attractive. With their practical jokes and windups.

Even DH comes home some days from work, telling me how he wound up this 18 y.o. young woman ('Megan') at work up by conning her into believing some bullshit. And then says how 'me and 'Megan' have such a laff at work.' ('Megan' is approx 35 years younger than him and thinks he is a massive nob.) I know this because every young female I know thinks middle aged men who try and be funny are sad cunts.

Why do middle aged men do this? WHY? Are they trying to convince themselves that they've still 'got it!' And that the laydeeez love 'em? confused

Fucking annoying. Coz on the rare occasion I do it, DH just looked annoyed. And although he thinks it's funny when he plays a practical joke on me, he gets really arsey if I play one on him. Funny that isn't it? Practical jokers never like it when you turn the tables on them!

gamerchick Thu 21-Feb-19 18:16:36

I don't ask the husband a question, I just tell him I'll let him do X,y,z. Like I'm doing him a favour.

Don't ask the question, he can't be a knob about it then.

Trippedupagain Thu 21-Feb-19 18:32:34

Oh my lord, you have my sympathy if you don't share your OH's sense of humour. My OH can be a total nightmare at times, so annoying in different ways I can't begin to tell you, but he makes me properly laugh on a regular basis.

cordeliavorkosigan Thu 21-Feb-19 20:04:42

YANBU, that would totally infuriate me. I'd be trying all sorts to get it to end.

MerryBerryCheesecake Thu 21-Feb-19 20:47:13

It's as if some of them don't know when pissing about is appropriate and when it's not.

Mine has a touch of form for this.

If I'm stood there holding two bits of wood together and say, 'pass me that screwdriver', He will go "what? This one?" , when it's the only one out then wave it about just out of reach with a 'say please" while laughing. Thinks he's being cute and funny. I have to resist the temptation to give him a serious poke with it.

There's a time and a place for ha-has, while I'm in the middle of a DIY task is not one of them.

redexpat Fri 22-Feb-19 05:28:14

Are you danish? Thats a very danish way to formulate a sentence. Drives me crackers. Uou could say right its time to get the babies ready. Take the question out.

GreenDragon75 Fri 22-Feb-19 05:50:49

My dh pretends he hasn’t heard me - every single bloody time - or he fires questions back about really insignificant bits of the story pretending he is confused. It’s to delay what I’m saying and wind me up. . It infuriates me now - I never repeat myself anymore. Most of the time I just stop and walk off or start doing something else. I think he thinks it funny but it just makes me not want to talk to him.

FineWordsForAPorcupine Fri 22-Feb-19 06:30:13

If someone tries the "I was just joking" I deadpan back "you need new material".

But I have been guilty in the past of phrasing responses in the form of a question, ie "would you like to chop some onions?", "do you want to hoover the sitting room" etc. It invited sarcastic replies. It wasn't until one boyfriend became exasperated and straight up told me how annoying it was that I really understood and stopped.

Looking back, it was something I'd picked up from my mother as a way of "asking nicely". In fact , it was passive and annoying, and now, if I have a request to make I just say it straight out (with appropriate please and thank yous).

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