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To ask what self help books worked? Do any?

(20 Posts)
Fiveredbricks Thu 21-Feb-19 15:35:09

I need to reclaim my headspace, learn to let go of unhealthy relationships/people and to get 'me' back.

I've realised a lot in the past few months and moreso in recent days that I have put my own life on hold, been too much of a 'yes' (wo)man and selfless with a select few people to the point of my mental health being affected, which has cascaded in to me being a great unhappy flump deep down.

I want my head back. I want to be 'me' again. How??! Help sad

Fiveredbricks Thu 21-Feb-19 22:22:48

Bump. Anyone?

27dresses Thu 21-Feb-19 22:28:20

Rewire: break bad habits...forgotten the author and rest of title but you can find that through Google.

This book helped me mend my poor thinking habits which were making me depressed and I still go back to notes I made throughout reading this as it gets me back on track. You don't need to have had an addiction to read this book. I eventually overcame ruminating with this book and some other lifestyle changes.

If you can, try to find a free pdf online just to sample and see if it's for you.

Goandplay Thu 21-Feb-19 22:28:33

The Four Agreements. Honestly it was live changing for me. I was 🤔 for the first chapter. Preserved as it was recommended by my counsellor. I honestly think differently now. I revisit the 4 Agreements I’ve made for my life often when I feel I’m off track.
I don’t know if you have to be in a particular headspace to feel it but I’ve acosted people in Waterstones to recommend it.

27dresses Thu 21-Feb-19 22:29:13

Amazon also usually have decent reviews. You could check the self help genre and see what's on offer.

Goandplay Thu 21-Feb-19 22:32:36

Sounds like you need some boundaries in your life. I’ve spent a year working in mine. I’ve repositioned people in my mind and I feel so much better for it.
I hope you feel better soon.

Goandplay Thu 21-Feb-19 22:33:38

Yes to PP recommendation of Amazon reviews. Download the kindle app and you can give the first chapters or so a go of most books. Try before you buy.

fikel Thu 21-Feb-19 22:33:41

Check out Susan Jeffers

RoboticSealpup Thu 21-Feb-19 22:36:43

I'm sure there are many, but please avoid the nutcase fraudster Byron Katie. I have a close friend who swears by her 'the work' or whatever is called, and the only thing she seems to have learned from that is to stay in an abusive relationship and blame herself for not thinking positively enough.

OllyBJolly Thu 21-Feb-19 22:51:53

Yes to Susan Jeffers!

"Feel the Fear and do it anyway" changed my life.

ShadyLady53 Thu 21-Feb-19 22:54:29

Yep I’ve read loads of Self Help Books. Most have been a waste of money. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers is the only one that actually changed my life.

Check out Mel Robbins on YouTube and Social Media too. She’s pretty good in a practical way and no need to spend money.

CSIblonde Thu 21-Feb-19 22:59:03

CBT for Dummies. Automatic negative thoughts & catastrophising have messed up so much of my life, but, they can be dealt with: & you can change destructive thoughts & behaviour.

Uptheduffagai Thu 21-Feb-19 23:01:56

A little out there but - The power of now but Eckhart Tolle

MrsMartinRohde Thu 21-Feb-19 23:13:31

Try the podcast By the Book. Two women live by self help books for two weeks and report back. I really like it.

Catchytune Thu 21-Feb-19 23:33:15

I found “The Rules” quite helpful.
Controversial because it has quite, er traditional ways of looking at men and women dating ( and there are chapters on same sex relationships) But actually their explanations tie in with my actual experience so I think it works even if it’s unpopular.
I’m a gushy over sharing, lads type of girl. I read the book and realised my chatter was all about trying to “ present” myself. I stopped doing that on dates and found it much easier to find chemistry or not without all the jazz hand stories.

Catchytune Thu 21-Feb-19 23:36:14

sorry meant to say it’s about boundaries and rules which work well on friends and family members too. There’s a chapter on them in there too.

UserN0me Thu 21-Feb-19 23:36:46

The chimp paradox is really good

Sillybilly1234 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:39:26

Get Out of My Life. But First Take Me and Alex into

It is a guide to living with teenagers.

Very good

Sillybilly1234 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:39:49

Into town.

LellyMcKelly Thu 21-Feb-19 23:48:03

It sounds like you already know what you want. Instead of using a hit and miss self help book, why not book a few sessions with a good counsellor, psychologist, or life coach who can help you talk through what you want to do and how to do it? It’ll be more expensive, but it’ll be much more targeted and specific.

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