Hello,
This is my first time posting here and I am really hoping for some advice, as it may be most helpful from a woman’s perspective.
I am 30 year old male, been with my girlfriend just short of 5 years. We have a great relationship overall, get on well, own a house together, 2 pets, have shared friends and take many great holidays together. Of course there is some bickering but nothing harmful so to speak. My girlfriend is 2 years younger than me and very much the outgoing, social, party animal. Loves to spend time with her friends and equally loves chill time on her own. She is also a gym bunny so spends a lot of time there. I am also very outgoing and sociable with many of my own friends so we do tick along nicely with regard to having our own time and space.
The problem is here; recently I have noticed her becoming very distant and spending more and more time doing her own thing. She seems really happy around others but when alone with just me is almost snappy, I always feel a bit unsure of what mood she will return home from work in. She spends most of her time at home on her phone. She has also gone off sex quite considerably; we have done it maybe 4 times in the last 2-3 months. She also doesn’t show much affection towards me anymore. It is really getting to me as I want to be able to share this with her, I love her to death and we used to have such fun together and a really good sex life, so it is starting to hurt that she no longer seems to want this. I must admit it has crossed my mind on a few occasions that she may be getting it elsewhere due to sudden lack of desire and also time spent apart. I have asked her if there is someone else but she says there is not.
Another issue and probably my main concern, is that I really want children and she does not. As she is a bit younger than me I didn’t force the topic until a year ago when she told me she hadn’t thought about it yet but wasn’t sure she even wanted any. I told her at the time if she didn’t want children then I guess I go without as I love her and want to be with her. I have let it lie since then, part of me hoping she would change her mind. I brought this up to her last week and it didn’t go down too well. She has basically told me she doesn’t want children and that she feels she is holding me back by doing so. She admitted she feels extremely guilty for this as she knows I would make a brilliant dad. I feel we are at a bit of a dead end here. She has also told me to hold off on a potential proposal, she has her reasons for this I guess as she was previously married just young at 22, but has been divorced almost 4 years now. What should my next move be? Am I silly to end this otherwise good relationship? Or do I let her go with the hope of having my own family one day and potentially seeing her happier without these pressures?
I would appreciate any thoughts or advice on this. Thanks in advance.
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to think my girlfriend may have someone else?
17 replies
bball89 · 21/02/2019 15:18
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