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AIBU?

The use of 'RIP'

122 replies

Bumblebeezy · 21/02/2019 11:48

Given that the use of RIP as an abbreviation when someone dies is so widely used and accepted I'm sure I'll be told that I am being very unreasonable but I strongly dislike it!!

I realise when someone uses it they do so with respectful intentions but surely when someone has died it's not really all that huge an amount of extra trouble to type 'rest in peace' (or I suppose the original Latin, 'requiescat in pace')?

Whenever I see it I just think it sounds so lazy, unimaginative, and insincere in the face of something as profound as death. If you are going to make a genuine gesture of respect then why do it with as little effort as possible? Confused

It's not as though people are painstakingly engraving a tombstone, just typing for seconds on a keyboard.

I don't get it!

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PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 21/02/2019 11:50

We use it in the mortuary .....

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BabyDarlingDollfaceHoney · 21/02/2019 11:51

You expect people to offer their condolences in Latin? Hmm YABU.

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chocolateroses · 21/02/2019 11:52

Saves money on engraving 🤷🏼‍♀️ I wouldn't be offended if someone said RIP when I was gone, maybe not my nearest and dearest but others

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Bumblebeezy · 21/02/2019 11:53

Grin Haha, no, I don't expect people to write the Latin! Although I would sooner write the Latin than type RIP.

I don't know why it bothers me so much but it does!!

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PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 11:53

I totally agree OP.

That and “angle” 😂

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TheTitOfTheIceberg · 21/02/2019 11:53

I sort of know what you mean OP, it always feels a bit trite when I see it but I've never been able to put my finger on why it mildly irks me.

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Dohee · 21/02/2019 11:54

Everything is abbreviated nowadays. I can't understand half the threads on here with all the acronyms. It's like trying to decipher some sort of WWII message. In real life, people will say the full words, but in the written word, they will abbreviate. It is written on many millions of gravestones and is a generally accepted acronym for decades.

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cauliflowersqueeze · 21/02/2019 11:56

At school, kids use it if someone is about to get into trouble. I thought you were going to say that that was disrespectful. Which I pretty much agree with, if you consider the phrase deeply enough. But language use changes.

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Pinkyyy · 21/02/2019 11:57

I've always hated it too, OP. It just seems disrespectful to use abbreviations (usually used to save effort/time etc) when referring to a person who's passed.

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GreenThing · 21/02/2019 11:57

Worse still when people don't even use capitals.

So you get 'rip my angle, gone too soon' . Angles seem to feature a lot. I always end up thinking of contortionists.

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BangingOn · 21/02/2019 11:57

It really bothers me too, so half hearted and lazy.

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PrivateDoor · 21/02/2019 11:59

I cannot stand it. I think for me it is because I see it as a connection to Halloween and horror films and stuff. I always picture an image of a creepy graveyard with RIP on the headstones and a thunder storm happening. I have no idea why my mind makes this association with the term but it means I see it as very..... I don't know, creepy I guess.

Therefore I never ever use the term and cringe when I see others use it, especially about babies (I often am involved with caring for babies who have passed away and their parents).

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Bumblebeezy · 21/02/2019 11:59

It just seems disrespectful to use abbreviations (usually used to save effort/time etc) when referring to a person who's passed.

Exactly this @Pinkyyy- you have summed it up much more succinctly than me!

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Alsohuman · 21/02/2019 11:59

I’m with you. I detest it and I can’t put my finger on why.

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easyandy101 · 21/02/2019 12:00

It's not a very modern phenomenon you see it on old graves in my local graveyard

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mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 21/02/2019 12:00

I find it horribly phony and sanctimonious - often used by people who have never met the deceased. When I worked in the NHS it was customary to put "deceased" or "dead" across the front of a folder of patient notes (for the Medical Records staff to know where to file them when they got them back). A couple of years after I started working there, staff (doctors mainly) starting writing RIP as well or instead of deceased. It seems a bit unmedical, somehow.

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Parthenope · 21/02/2019 12:03

So you get 'rip my angle, gone too soon' . Angles seem to feature a lot. I always end up thinking of contortionists.

Grin

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CallMeRachel · 21/02/2019 12:04

Ooh this is also something that grinds my gears. I hate the term RIP, to the point that I have specifically requested it is not featured on my headstone anywhere!!

I hate seeing strangers posting on Facebook articles about accidents resulting in a death and all these people think typing RIP will somehow bring peace to the poor sod. Makes me irrationally annoyed.

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SpanielEars070 · 21/02/2019 12:05

It gives me very unconditional rage OP.

It's so lazy and offensive. If you can't be respectful, don't say anything!

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CallMeSirShotsFired · 21/02/2019 12:05

YANBU - Particularly when it's used in conjunction by someone playing grief vulture.

I know someone who would leap on any public figure death or mass death event (7/7 etc) and would post all over the place about how she had one worked with someone's half-aunty's dog's cousin who had been near the place it happened so #RIP and #Blessed etc.

She was a fucking death ghoul. Probably still is....

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WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 21/02/2019 12:06

I agree OP

I say it in full, or type it rather .

Angles . God Yea you are so right . I feel like using caps and saying ANGELS . More and more I see Angles ffs

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PooleySpooley · 21/02/2019 12:07


I hate seeing strangers posting on Facebook articles about accidents resulting in a death and all these people think typing RIP will somehow bring peace to the poor sod. Makes me irrationally annoyed


Me too Grin

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CameliaCamelia · 21/02/2019 12:07

I hate it too

But for a different reason. When used to address young people who have died I feel the word 'rest' is wrong. Rest from what? They have had no life to 'rest' from. I'm not explaining myself very well but I rest when I'm done,tired,worn out etc

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SaturdayNext · 21/02/2019 12:07

Ditto "Sorry for your loss" which we seem to have copied from the US. To be sorry for something is to pity it, what people mean is that they are sorry about the loss.

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EthelHornsby · 21/02/2019 12:08

RIP doesn’t bother me, but ‘passed’ sets my teeth on edge

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