To share what my Smear nurse said?(303 Posts)
On Friday I went for my smear ... after two weeks of dreading it. The embarrassment, the awkwardness, what if I smell? What if the nurse thinks I look weird down there? What if .. what if ... what if ...
Well I got there and sat down. The nurse made small talk about unrelated stuff and then sighed and said “I’ve got 12 smears today, all one after another! I’m going to be smeared out by the time I leave work!”
Ok so apart from the “smeared out” comment making me laugh like a giggling school kid I IMMEDIATELY relaxed. This procedure that is a nightmare for the patient is just one of many jobs on that nurses list. There are at least 11 other women having their smear today with this one nurse. As if this nurse is going to remember the smelly fanny of patient number 3, or the hairy legs of patient number 1, or the fat belly of patient number 8 ... it made me realise that although the procedure is a massive deal for the patient, to the nurse it’s just another 20 minute appointment. It helped me. And I’m posting this hoping it might help others?
I don't do smears (well have them myself but don't take them) but am a midwife and if during a vaginal examination the cervix is too posterior to reach the woman putting her hands in fists under her bum does tilt the cervix forward so its easier to reach - so I imagine it would be the same during a smear
I've, personally, never had an issue having smears in terms of pain etc (although I was embarrassed when younger and did put it off for several years when I was a teenager (showing my age but it used to be 18 or sexually active and I went on the pill at 16 so the GP would nag me) - though I didn't find a coil insertion hurt either and chatted to the doctor about whether her flight would be cancelled as she was going on holiday the next day and it was snowing.
The part about wanting someone you don't know I can relate to though, when I wanted my coil out it got lost and was referred to gynae - messaged my friend who worked in that hospital asking who Mr X's registrar was - it was someone I didn't know. Walked into the clinic only to be greeted by a doctor I not only knew (and still friends with on facebook even though he's moved away) but at one point had a had a little crush on - he did offer to get someone else but I didn't really care at that point (little embarassed next time I saw him though)
I have had many a smear, infact I'm probably only here today because of going for a smear! I had a lot of precancerous cells in the past and had to have treatment twice, colposcopy is much more awkward than having a smear as you have at least two Dr/ nurses in the room and they use a camera to look at your cervix 😬 and you can watch it on a telly too!
Some smears were quick and easy, some uncomfortable but you just lie back think of somewhere nice and get on with it, a chatty nurse helps me get through.
But before my first one I remember dreading it because when I was very young my mother had to have a smear and took me with her ( I think her GP performed it!), So there she was behind the curtain with the Dr and I was sat the other side, I heard her cry out like the Dr had hurt her so had a peek around the curtain to see what was going on, now bear in mind I was very young probably about 4/5, never knew what a smear was or that they existed, I saw my darling mother half naked will her legs wide open, a light shining on her foof and some grey metal hanging out of her!! It was terrifying! Scarred for life!!! 😧
Just has my smear. Wasn't the nicest feeling but it might safe my life.
The most awkward thing was thinking '*where do I put my knickers?'* there was a chair but her smear stuff was on that I didn't want to put them under it as she'd have had to stand on them so I put them on what I thought was a ledge behind the curtain and in fact it was a window ledge and I had just put my knickers on display for the street to see.. 🤦♀️
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