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Kid knocking on door really early!

(539 Posts)
LadyBunker Wed 20-Feb-19 10:32:09

Ok, before I say anything somewhat more firmly to this kids mother, AIBU?

It's half term, and so far every single day since Friday, a kid has come knocking for my mind to come out to play. Fine; that's lovely. Except he's knocking between 8 and 8.45 every morning! One morning we were all still asleep and I woke up to missed calls from the mother and text messages insisting that her child play with mine, "he's been round two times to knock for your DC, he wants to know where you are." And all day long, he's playing with my DC. Again, fine. But I'm feeding him lunch, snacks, drinks- and his brother too if he shows up! .....his mum doesn't seem concerned that he's not going home for lunch, and I'm getting a text message each day around 6pm asking if said child or children are still with mine and will I send them home now? These children are 9 and 11 years old.

So far I have said -

-"Shall I send DC home now for lunch?" No reply.
-"We've got to go out now, I'll send DC home." Response- "if you're going somewhere local he can go with you."
-"we were all asleep at 8am as it's half term, so didn't hear the door. It's a bit early to be out playing for my DC." Response- "I'll send him round later tomorrow." That's when he showed up at 8.45 and we were having breakfast.

AIBU to want to message this mother and let her know that I don't actually run a free half term club? I've never even met her, by the way! Our kids attend a forest school together and our number is on a text that was given out for emergency lifts when it snowed.

FudgeBrownie2019 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:34:15

Can you open the door and tell him you're busy today/tomorrow and send him on his way?

LuluBellaBlue Wed 20-Feb-19 10:35:14

Mum is a CF!
I’d state ‘we’re not free till after 10am, (or whatever time) please don’t knock until then.’
I’d also be sending kid home for lunch or at least asking them to leave and come back at say 2pm or something.
Not your responsibility!

BendydickCuminsnatch Wed 20-Feb-19 10:35:58

Well she’s a right cheeky fucker isn’t she!!😮

Butterymuffin Wed 20-Feb-19 10:36:19

Text today and say 'we're going out at 12 so DC will be coming back to you then'. No free lunch today. She's just taking advantage.

Isitweekendyet Wed 20-Feb-19 10:36:58

Ignore the mum, send them home.

Better still, don’t let them in in the first place - you owe them and the mother nothing!

TrendyNorthLondonTeen Wed 20-Feb-19 10:38:09

Of course she doesn't answer messages, she's got a free babysitter...

pregnantforever Wed 20-Feb-19 10:39:21

Oh god! I can't believe she was txting you insisting! I think you have to send a strong message here and open your door to this child in the morning and say "I'm sorry were busy today" and close again.
Txt mum and say "it's been lovely the dcs have played so much over the holidays. We're busy today sorry"

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Wed 20-Feb-19 10:39:36

Our previous ndn did this.
Once told the dc my dc were staying in tidying their rooms that day.
She offered to help!!
It became the norm.. Sat morning = 'Jane' popped round to help tidy their bedroom!!

CaptainButtock Wed 20-Feb-19 10:40:12

CF alert klaxon!!!
YADNBU. She is obv using you as free chilcare. We had a similar situation in the summer hols and I ended up being quite abrupt about having other plans which seemed to sort it. (Later heard that she simply moved onto someone else, mind...) Some people have no shame.
How about sending yours round to hers?

redhat Wed 20-Feb-19 10:40:42

"Just to let you know we have visitors and various plans and the DC will not be playing for the rest of the week"

LadyBunker Wed 20-Feb-19 10:40:56

I'd worry just shutting the door on him though as he actually doesn't live in the same street as us- not even close. He lives on the other side of the village.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 20-Feb-19 10:41:17

Send yours over as soon as they wake tomorrow.

TheFaerieQueene Wed 20-Feb-19 10:41:49

Text her and say you all have d&v

legolimb Wed 20-Feb-19 10:42:05

You'll have to be blunt OP.

You're busy today.
DC don't want to play today

Or any other reason you feel like.

Some people e have no scruples.

Deliqueen Wed 20-Feb-19 10:44:03

Personally, I'd make a point of going out and sending them home so that you break the habit. Or you just text back and say sorry they can't come round today as we are having a family chill out day. Send them back home, don't feed them. You are enabling them having lunch by feeding them. I would feed mine and tell the others to go home.
My DC play out with various neighbours all the time but they are all in and out of the various houses and all of us parents know where they all are. If any if us are going out locally we might take each others children but we all get on and it's evenly shared out! You have to be firm. They are not your responsibility.

Tcel Wed 20-Feb-19 10:44:45

"were really busy at the moment, I'll text you when ds is free to play to save the trip over"
Be firm, she's using you as a free babysitter!

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Wed 20-Feb-19 10:45:20

Tell the mum you're not a free babysitting service.

Tell the kid when he comes he can't stay as your having a family day.

Purpletigers Wed 20-Feb-19 10:45:50

Send him home , every single time and text her to let her know . Then text to say that any future play dates need to be arranged in advance . Cheeky sod !

FetchezLaVache Wed 20-Feb-19 10:47:33

Why on EARTH are you allowing this? You don't ask this woman if it's all right if her child goes home now, you tell her he's on his way. You don't let him in if he turns up at a time that's inconvenient to you, you tell him to come back later. What do you think you owe these people? If he can make his way to yours from the other side of the village, he can just as happily make his way home again. Get this stamped out right now before it's a completely established precedent!

Aeroflotgirl Wed 20-Feb-19 10:48:21

Mum is a massive CF and wants free childcare. Tell her no it is your holiday and you are not free childcare, if you want your child looked after it will be £10 ph. Nip this in the bud now!

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 20-Feb-19 10:49:27

Drop yours at their house at 7.30am with strict instructions to keep knocking till you get a response and don’t answer any text messages

AlanThePig Wed 20-Feb-19 10:49:37

I used to go with 'sorry not today' and shut the door before child had a chance to reply.
As for Mum, she's happy ignoring your messages, you should do the same.

DamonSalvatoresDinner Wed 20-Feb-19 10:50:00

This is an easy one. Say no visits before 9am or whatever time of your choosing.

Him being at yours expecting getting fed? ^Okay Fred, it's lunch time. Time to go home and get yours because We're about to eat. Come back after XX PM^" and shoo him out the door.

Don't give out snacks. If he wants a drink there's water. Maybe a piece of fruit IF YOU WANT TO.

I had this crap until I realised it was costing me a bloody fortune in food, my house was not my own and it was never, ever reciprocated. I put my foot down and just started booting the kids out when it was lunch times etc.

I don't invite many in at all now if I can help it after I realised that my eldest DD (in High school) had never been inside some of her friends houses even though they all live locally. All kids have to wait outside the doors while the friend pops in for their coats or phones or whatever reason they'd be popping back home. Yet those mothers are happy to say that they want their child to come to mine so they're not just mooching around the streets when socialising.

snowball28 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:50:18

God I’d hate this, I’d of had to text her by now that I’m not free childcare and she needs to look after her own kids. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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