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To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

(273 Posts)
Blackcelebration73 Wed 20-Feb-19 04:12:20

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

GrumpyOldMare Wed 20-Feb-19 08:59:26

My parents are the only ones that call me by my full name of Linda.
Everyone else calls me Lin/Linnie/Linniepops/Loobyloo. My parents really aren't bothered-their attitude is that it's MY name and it's up to me what I answer to.

supersop60 Wed 20-Feb-19 09:02:45

I have a short name, because my parents didn't want any nicknames. People who know me well lengthen it as a form of endearment.

KlutzyDraconequus Wed 20-Feb-19 09:03:13

I called my daughter Gemmima-Milicient-Henrietta-philicity-coloratura and insist everyone use her full name whenever they address her.
By the time registration is done it's play time, but I don't care, that's her name, and should be used.

thecatsthecats Wed 20-Feb-19 09:03:27

This is lesson one in not owning your child, I'm afraid. Best get over it now, saves time for later.

BertrandRussell Wed 20-Feb-19 09:07:33

“I’m with the OP on this. I cannot abide people shortening my name ”

And that is your right. I hate my full name and go by a shortening.

You don’t have the right to mind on behalf of other people.

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 09:11:13

This is lesson one in not owning your child, I'm afraid. Best get over it now, saves time for later.

And what about the right of the CHILD to be called the long version of their name? Is that be discarded too then?
The issue I have there is that by letting everyone shortening the name and basically giving your child another name, you are also stripping the CHILD of their name,. Whether THEY like it or not.
If, the CHILD and then TEENAGER wants to be called another name (shortened or not), then I agree it’s up to them.
But I dint think other people have any right to do so.

JRMisOdious Wed 20-Feb-19 09:12:45

What does she think? That’s all that matters really.

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 09:13:49

Does your daughter like the other versions?

If so, then that's all OK isn't it?

I dint think a child, at the age of the OP dd, can say anything like this. It’s more likely that they will they can’t say NO to the teacher/nursery worker.
I also doubt they have any feeling about ownership about their name. More likely thatbthey will just accept it ‘because That’s how things are done. A person is authority to me, one that I look up to, is doing it therefore it’s ok’.
Asking a child that age to make that sort of decision is stupid imo.

hazeyjane Wed 20-Feb-19 09:14:42

No good choosing a, can't be shortened, name....some fucker will just lengthen it!

The thing is it gets to a point where everyone is so told to suck it up that some childten will put up with being called a name they dont actually like because they dont have the confidence to say, actually my name is xxx

In early years I really think people need to use the preferred name that the child recognises as theirs. With Children developing understanding and communication skills it seems better to have a bit of consistency!

mydogisthebest Wed 20-Feb-19 09:14:56

Really annoys me that people think it is ok to shorten someone's name. It's lazy and bloody rude.

My mum has a long name and it has always been shortened even though she has always told people she doesn't like it being shortened.

When she had me and my 2 siblings she purposely gave us very short names so they could not be shortened. So then people lengthened them by adding ie at the end!

If someone tells me their name is Elizabeth then I call them that. I don't call them Lizzie unless they say they prefer it.

I have 2 friends called Stephen, one wants to be called Stephen but the other prefers Steve. So I call them the name they prefer. I don't just decide to call them both Steve

Crinklesmile Wed 20-Feb-19 09:16:39

My husband has a very flexible name ie: William, so gets Bill, Willy and Billy. His parents call him his full name, I call him Bill as that's how he introduced himself!
But, I fully get you. My kids have names that can't be tweaked, for this very reason!

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 09:17:39

thecats if a parent shouldn’t be owning their child, who is that ok for other people to be owning the child and imposing on them another name?
We are not talking about a child deciding they want to be called XXX but about an ADULT deciding that the child shouod be called XXX

Could you plain why it’s not ok for parents to impose a name on their child, even they chose the name and it’s their child. But somehow it’s ok for another adult, totally unrelated to the child, to impose a name on them????
I mean that unrelated adult surely shouldn’t own that child either and shouldn’t be so controlling as to impose their wish in the child?

ShaggyRug Wed 20-Feb-19 09:20:07

”A child with many names is well loved”

DD has many nicknames, and each name of endearment makes me happy she’s well loved.

WhiteDust Wed 20-Feb-19 09:20:47

My DH and ALL of my good friends call me by my full name.
My entire family, acquaintances and colleagues shorten it.
Never worked that out.

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 09:20:50

The thing is it gets to a point where everyone is so told to suck it up that some childten will put up with being called a name they dont actually like because they dont have the confidence to say, actually my name is xxx

That has been dc1 experience. I know he isnt keen on the shortened version but has learnt to just accept it. What was he supposed to do when even. The teachers were shortening his name???
Now as a teen, everyone knows him as his shortened version. He had no choice in that and just had to accept it.

See all the comments and put downs on this thread along the lines of how dare you not wanting to have your name shorten. I do it because I’m being nice....

Namestheyareachangin Wed 20-Feb-19 09:23:45

I think you need to relax on it OP. At school she will be given all sorts of mad nicknames. As a teen/young adult she may joib a death metal band and go by Slasher. You can't control this, there is no way, so there's no point stressing yourself out. Keep calling her Megan yourself and never mind anyone else unless it bothers HER.

Doman Wed 20-Feb-19 09:24:40

@thegreylady Being a Joanne not a Joanna I frequently have the exact opposite issue to your DD smile

dudsville Wed 20-Feb-19 09:25:42

I have a name that no one shortens. It does occasionally get morphed into a bigger nickname but that never gains traction. More importantly, I'm not I'm control of other people and what they do. Came as quite a shock to me too, but there you have it.

mydogisthebest Wed 20-Feb-19 09:26:24

What a load of old rubbish that calling a child by a shortened name is lovely, endearing or any other bollocks.

Unless asked to call someone by a shorter name people should be using their full name.

Why bother calling your child a certain name if it's ok and lovely for others to change it? Megan is a lovely name. Meg or Megs certainly is not

Curiousdad18 Wed 20-Feb-19 09:28:50

I have a Charlotte..when picking the name we thought a lot about whether we could live with Lottie or Charlie etc and decided it wasn't a big deal. I want her to be Charlotte but won't be all Hyacinth Bucket about it.

Saying that her young cousins call her "Sheltu" - no idea where this came from! It drives me up the wall grin

diddl Wed 20-Feb-19 09:30:38

"I dint think a child, at the age of the OP dd, can say anything like this."

I have missed Op's daughter's age.

But ideally yes it shouldn't happen other than at the request of the child.

outpinked Wed 20-Feb-19 09:32:28

YANBU, it’s annoying and I completely feel your pain. My youngest DD has a beautiful classic name but it gets shortened often to something that sounds a little trashy and tacky. I hate it and I made sure to put her full name as her preferred name at school so it doesn’t happen there.

PrtScn Wed 20-Feb-19 09:32:30

I never shorten my name when I introduce myself or sign off emails etc, I always use my full name. Most people use a shortened version of my name though, and only call me by my full name if I’ve been naughty 😂

emilybrontescorsett Wed 20-Feb-19 09:33:06

I get this a lot now as an adult didn't get it as a child so much.
So say my name is Patricia. People ask my name and I tell them Patricia, they immediately reply, oh well PAT blah blah blah.
It is rude.
If I wanted to be called Pat then that is what I would say.
I'd never respond to someone who said my name is Michael with, now then Mickey.

80sMum Wed 20-Feb-19 09:34:31

If it is teachers at her school who are shortening her name, then yes, I think you should ask them to refer to her as Megan only. But if it's friends, then there's not much you can do. If Megan dislikes a name she is called by her friends, I'm sure she will speak up for herself in due course.

emilybrontescorsett Wed 20-Feb-19 09:35:26

My dd didn't respond to a supply teacher once who was calling out a very old fashioned diminutive of her name.
Think Peggy instead of Margaret.
My dd had never, ever grandmother before and the entire class was baffled by who "Peggy" was!!!!

ShadyLady53 Wed 20-Feb-19 09:35:48

And bang on cue, I’ve just heard someone running down the corridor shouting “HELL? HELLLLLLL? HELL! For fuck’s sake, Helena, are you deaf?!”

angry

I’m pretty sure she’s one of my undergrads and has another 2.5 years to endure being called hell or accused of being deaf hmm.

emilybrontescorsett Wed 20-Feb-19 09:36:08

Grandmother!!!= Heard that.

missbattenburg Wed 20-Feb-19 09:40:04

My own name is 2-3 syllables long, depending on how pronounced. People shorten it in all sorts of ways all the time. They also mispronounce it occasionally and misspell it more often then get it right.

I couldn't find a single shit to give about any of it. It's clear they mean me, so fine.

The idea of refusing to answer them if they don't say the full name is, to my ears, the most ridiculous load of old cod.

cantfindname Wed 20-Feb-19 09:41:18

YABU. My ex used to do this and it drove me mad. People he had met two minutes ago and he would shorten or change their name. I think it is rude. If people like their name shortened, as I do, then they will be quick to offer it, otherwise their 'proper' name should be used.

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 09:41:26

More importantly, I'm not I'm control of other people and what they do. Came as quite a shock to me too, but there you have it.

Dangerous idea there.
Does it also imply that you just have accept whatever other people want/do? So if someone wants to have sex with you but you don’t, as you can’t control them, you need to just accept It?

Imo this is an issue with boundaries.
If the person wants to be called XXX, you shouod respect them and their boundaries and call them like this. Not whatever you have chosen. And yes you DO have a right to say NO. Why on Earth shouldnt you?? confused

cantfindname Wed 20-Feb-19 09:41:46

And that should have said 'YANBU'

DarklyDreamingDexter Wed 20-Feb-19 09:42:50

Whatever your call her, people will always shorten or give nicknames to people, whatever their name is. Unless you have a very short name like Jo, somewone will always shorten it - (or lengthen it, come to think of it, e.g. Joey. I know someone who's daughter is actually called Ellie but people often wrongly lengthen it to Ellen or Eleanor.) Has no one ever called you by a nickname or diminutive? Just chill, it's just the way it is!

missbattenburg Wed 20-Feb-19 09:43:17

Bloody hell queenie what are you on?

Understanding we don't control other people =/= having to let them f*ck you

Widowodiw Wed 20-Feb-19 09:46:19

No you do not accept a name can be shortened just because it can be!!!! My daughter is Victoria and everyone said “oh it will get shortened to Vicky” it doesn’t! There’s 1 girl in her class who calls her Vicky and that’s it on the whole 7 years. This girl only gets away with it as I’m sure she does it on purpose to wind me up 🤣🤣 we also taught her that her name was Victoria not Vicky and correct anyone.
But in all honesty it’s hasnt been an issue at all.

anitagreen Wed 20-Feb-19 09:47:02

I think you just got to accept that people will shorten names, My mums name is Claire and we call her Claireybell or Beef One as she loves a beef roast

wellingtontoots Wed 20-Feb-19 09:47:49

I'm a Megan and this has literally never even crossed my mind. I wasn't a fan of smegma as a teen for obvious reasons!!

The one thing that really boils my piss is everyone now calling me Meghan since Meghan Markle came on the scene.

Everyone spells my name that way now and some even call me "may-gan" angry it's MEGAN

SmarmyMrMime Wed 20-Feb-19 09:50:38

DS has a full traditional name and that's what he's known as at home as well as pet versions of it that naturally evolved. But not the obvious short version.

Obvious short version is now taking over at school. I help with his class and hear it in action. He was named after his DGM so the obvious short version plus surname is his DGMs name. I obviously knew that when I named him, but hearing it in reality is mildly jarring as it makes me think of MiL.

I don't say anything, because it's a natural thing and there are so many short 3, 4, 5 letter names now with very few children actually being named and called anything 6 letters or longer that people do just shorten it. DS knows his full name and is happy to be that at home. Now he's in school he can decide what he wants to be, where.

I found when doing registers for the first time (secondary) that it was very rare for pupils to insist on the longer version of their name (except double barrells where they were very polarised in either insisting upon or loathing the second name).

sunshinelollipopsrainbows Wed 20-Feb-19 09:51:32

Nicknames are often to do with familiarity and affection. I think it's nice. Keep calling her Megan but I wouldn't begrudge what others call her. It's part of having a kid and something most people consider when picking their names.

WinterfellWench Wed 20-Feb-19 09:51:49

@Blackcelebration73

YANBU to be annoyed. My 2 used to get theirs shortened too, and like your lass, they only have 2 syllables! So Emily and Lily was shortened to Em and Lil. I used to get pissed off about it, but realised after a few years that there was sodall I could do about it. The childminder did it, the teachers, the other kids parents, the doctors and nurses.... etc...

Weirdly, since they hit adulthood/went to uni/hit their 20's, people call them Emily and Lily again!

Probably best to just go with it, because there is nothing you can do about it.

Megan is a sweet name, but yeah, it will get shortened to Meg. Megs is annoying though.

(Not my kids real names obvs!) ^

Cheeeeislifenow Wed 20-Feb-19 09:53:34

My son's name is Ruan we call him
Rooster
Rooster booster
Ruanington
Roo roo buttz
Roo
Spoony
Spoonington
Ruany Spoony
Boost

You'd hate us!! Op she will choose what she like anyway. Surely when picking her name it's obvious people will change it to Meg?

adiposegirl2 Wed 20-Feb-19 09:55:33

Tell your daughter not to answer to anything other than Megan. People will soon get the message.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Wed 20-Feb-19 09:55:32

I've only ever let my granddad call me a shortened version of my name.

Since he died, I hate anyone else doing it.

liverbird10 Wed 20-Feb-19 09:58:29

This sounds like my MIL, who has a conniption fit every time someone calls her Precious Youngest Son (37) by the diminutive version of his name.

Thing is, he's shortened it since he was 6, and it's the name he has always used when introducing himself to people.

Pffft.

MaMaMaMySharona Wed 20-Feb-19 10:02:11

My brother and I still laugh about a mother at his school who insisted her son was called Christopher and not Chris (as all his teachers and friends called him). Don't be that parent.

Pernickity1 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:02:13

Ugh I hate when people get all offended by this! I shorten or lengthen the names of many people close to me, and they do the same to me. It’s nice! It means they probably really like your daughter. Get a grip. You call her what you like but you can’t control what other people call her so let it go.

Pernickity1 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:04:21

Tell your daughter not to answer to anything other than Megan. People will soon get the message.

That’s rubbish advice. It will alienate the child and make her look like a precocious brat. Plus I doubt she cares so why put that on her?!

Blackcelebration73 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:04:30

Blimey- thanks for all your comments.

DD is 6 and it irritates her too- she likes her name & quite often corrects people herself.

I am definitely not a controlling Hyacinth bucket type grin - I get what everyone is saying about it being something we need to get used to etc. I am not trying to control my child AT ALL!

It doesn’t stop it irritating me though- I chose the name as we are a welsh family and we really like it and it’s common in wales. The other option was Seren which is welsh for Star so I assume that would have been Sez or Ser or something 😂

bananafish Wed 20-Feb-19 10:04:35

I have a name which, like most names, can be easily shortened. My mother hated it being shortened and taught me to correct people every single time they did it.

I don't like it either. It's not how I introduce myself and it's irritating when folk call me by another name. It's not 'friendly' - it's rude.

Oblomov19 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:05:04

All names get shortened to their shortest possible version, at school. Surely you expected this? You can't control it.

Lookingforadvice123 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:05:55

YABU! Children (and adults) will always find a way to shorten/nickname the name of a friend. Even if you'd called her just "Meg" on her birth certificate she probably would be "Meggy" to some. It's an endearment thing. My husband is James and he gets Jim, Jimbo, or a shortened version of his surname. So what.

Oblomov19 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:06:20

"This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

EXACTLY!!

lazyarse123 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:06:46

I have a Michael and his workmates call him Mikey, I absolutely cringe inside but he doesn't care so that's how it has to be. You need to live with it.

Apple103 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:08:00

You can be annoyed all you want but that's not going to stop people. Let her be her own person not want you want for yourself. As many posters pointed out it's a form of endearment to nick name her.

Hamandcrispsandwich Wed 20-Feb-19 10:19:31

My name can't be shortened. My sisters can. People have asked to shorten mine, but it just doesn't work. People shorten my sisters to all sorts, but she doesn't mind. If she doesn't like it (and there is one shortening she really doesn't like) she tells people 'You're welcome to shorten my name to X,Y or Z, but please not that one as i'm not keen on it'

I knew someone who has one child with a name that can be shortened and the other can't. Nobody shortens her DC1s name because when he was young, she used to shout at people that did. She went NC with her brother for 6 months after he shortened DC1's name.
Her DC is an adult and when they meet people, they say 'My name is X, you can't shorten it to Y, Z or anything else as my mum doesn't like it. Just call me X' which I find a bit sad as her DC actually likes the shortenings of their name.

AngelaHodgeson Wed 20-Feb-19 10:20:23

My brother is called Michael and used to correct people when they called him Mike because his mother insisted his name was Michael. I obvs did as DSM said too - until his 10th birthday when I asked him what he wanted from me and he said "to be called Mike".

I have 6 names atm (most unrelated to my actual name) and don't understand why other people care that much about it. But if they DO care it really isn't that hard to get it right.

GabsAlot Wed 20-Feb-19 10:21:31

you can probably work out my full name i hate it-my parents were the same as you always going on abut how people shortened it and they hated it-

however your dd seems to agree and all you can do is let her correct people when they say it wrong but they dont mean any harm

00100001 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:25:13

Well, that's just tough luck...

all you can do is be that person and say "her name is Megan" every time.

and then you can reserve your angry emotions for when people spell it "Meghan"

LoniceraJaponica Wed 20-Feb-19 10:29:40

"DD is 6 and it irritates her too- she likes her name & quite often corrects people herself."

In that case she has every right to correct them. I always ask people what they like to be called. I was a sales rep years ago, and getting people's names right is so important when doing business. It should be the case in informal situations as well.

"This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

This ^^ with bells on.

Purplecatshopaholic Wed 20-Feb-19 10:32:25

Why on earth did you pick a name that can be obviously shortened and then not expect it to happen.....? My mum deliberately chose names for my sister and me that cant be abbreviated, not that I would necessarily be bothered, but she obviously was.

WinterfellWench Wed 20-Feb-19 10:34:26

@QueenieInFrance

Dangerous idea there. Does it also imply that you just have accept whatever other people want/do? So if someone wants to have sex with you but you don’t, as you can’t control them, you need to just accept it

Imo this is an issue with boundaries.

Are you fucking kidding? hmm So someone saying 'Ange' instead of Angela is tantamount to someone sexually assaulting you. Jesus wept. Just when I thought I had seen everything on here!!!

YetAnotherThing Wed 20-Feb-19 10:37:11

YABU. Agree you shouldn’t choose names where you dislike diminutive/nick names. Even worse if your daughter doesn’t like them too (which she might be saying just to please you). Lighten up as this will irritate you lifelong otherwise.

BlueSlipperSocks Wed 20-Feb-19 10:40:33

I have a Megan. Her friends call her Meg. The family call her Meggie Moo. None of us are bothered. If I was dead set against anyone shortening my dc's names I would have called them something with one syllable.

There again my DH is called John. He has been known as Jack all his life. He's not bothered either. The only person who calls him John is his mother.

diddl Wed 20-Feb-19 10:44:41

"Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

Nicknames are necessarily connected to a given name though are they?

If your daughter doesn't like the diminutives of her name then she should be able to tell anyone without it being a problem.

I'm not sure how shortening a person's name to something that they don't want to be called is an endearment.

Surely that would be listening to & respecting people's wishes re their name?

It's horrible to be called prissy or uptight because you happen to like your name & don't want to be called by a variation of it!

angieloumc Wed 20-Feb-19 10:51:42

I have an Andrew, James, Thomas and Molly. All shortened to Andy, Jimbo, Tom and Moll. Not my ideal, and I don't use them, but they like what they like.
In fact my DD's nickname is MM at school (not for Molly Mc** but for Marshmallow as she's pink and white apparently 😂)

cricketballs3 Wed 20-Feb-19 10:59:50

I always knew I was in trouble if my parents used my full name, if I was full named and middle named I was in serious trouble same for DSs grin

Thiswayorthatway Wed 20-Feb-19 11:00:30

I have a short, 3 letter, one syllable name (not a shortened version of a longer name
- Sue/Susan - but a name in its own right) which people lengthen as a term of endearment. It also rhymes easily which gave me lots of nicknames at school. But hey, it's my name and I like it.

nevernotstruggling Wed 20-Feb-19 11:03:08

Yanbu. Dd2 has complained to me that her father doesn't call her by her name. It matters to her and she's 6.

Moneypenny007 Wed 20-Feb-19 11:07:11

I do this on purpose with mil. I shorten dh's name, and ds1 just because it annoys her. I also do it to my bil's name.
I am often referred to as a shortened version of my name. It doesn't bother me. I find it strange that my dh never shortens my name.
In my defence the first text my dh sent me had his shortened version of his name hence why I shorten it.

Clawdy Wed 20-Feb-19 11:40:27

My friend had a little boy she insisted was to be called Thomas,and never Tom. She corrected any friend who called him Tom. When he reached his teens, he became....Toz. He has a family of his own now, and is known to everyone as Toz! She hates it. grin

emilybrontescorsett Wed 20-Feb-19 11:50:20

It's very different if you know someone well , totally different for a complete stranger to alter an adults name.
If my name's Mrs Elizabeth Sinclair I don't want some random stranger suddenly referring to me as Betty, usually when they are trying to sell me something.
If they say can I call you Betty then fine but I find they dont.
They don't know me and haven't heard any one else refer to me as Betty.

Would it be ok for a teacher to of the blue call you Betty instead of Ms Sinclair. Or the receptionist at the doctors who didn't know you from Adam.

RolaColaAllTheWay Wed 20-Feb-19 11:59:43

Nah, chill. If she doesn't like it, she'll have to be the one telling people to call her by her full name.

MumUnderTheMoon Wed 20-Feb-19 12:25:25

Sometimes people shorten dds name. I just say "(insert full name here) gets her full name thanks".

purpleweasel Wed 20-Feb-19 12:48:50

Where I am from most names get shortened, whether they have a "natural" nickname or not. As an example, if your name is Ian you will get called "Ee". If your name is not able to be shortened at all (and that will not be for the want of trying) they will add y/ie to the end, eg John would get called Johnnie.

My parents didn't grow up round here and thought they'd given me & my sister names which couldn't be shortened. They were wrong.

I am one of these people who will call you by the name you introduce yourself to me as, so for instance I know some Daves and some Davids. My name doesn't have a usual shortening/nickname and I hate how people shorten it but I have had to get used to it over the years. I have tried correcting them but it seems to be inbuilt and most don't even notice they are doing it as far as I can tell

81Byerley Wed 20-Feb-19 12:59:10

You remind me of my Mum. "Tell that girl your name is Jennifer. If we'd wanted you called Jenny we'd have Christened you Jenny!"

TheFaerieQueene Wed 20-Feb-19 13:01:59

Is she really called Megatron? 🤣

Chloemol Wed 20-Feb-19 13:13:58

You need to get a grip. My name is shortened in a number of ways by different groups of friends, it’s no bother and my mother never got precious about it. If she’s ok with it then this is no problem

Grumpelstilskin Wed 20-Feb-19 13:23:18

Well, soon you can add 'Nutmeg' to that list grin

QueenieInFrance Wed 20-Feb-19 13:44:19

I hate how people shorten it but I have had to get used to it over the years.

So SOME people don’t care if their names are shortened and OTHERS do care and feel that they have no other option other than accept it.
How is that Ok confused

helpconfused Wed 20-Feb-19 14:10:17

I always correct people when they shorten my sons name. He isn't old enough to choose for himself yet.

CountFosco Wed 20-Feb-19 15:04:53

The childminder did it, the teachers, the other kids parents, the doctors and nurses.... etc...

These are all adults and they should be using the name the parents tell them, it's rude to do anything else. Family members are allowed to create nicknames and friends are allowed to create nicknames but anyone you meet randomly can't until they become a friend. If a nickname truly is affectionate then you shouldn't use one unless you have a relationship with the person you are nicknaming. Otherwise it's at best lazy, at worst rude. I agree with the PPs that say it's about boundaries. And to call a 6yo a name they don't want to be called by is bullying.

NotMySquirrel Wed 20-Feb-19 15:55:34

My parents intentionally picked names that they thought couldn't be shortened. However, once I hit school, a nickname was found! You've just got to roll with it, I'm afraid. Or pick a name with a shortening you like, but I guess that ship has sailed.

lotusbell Wed 20-Feb-19 16:17:42

I'm a bugger for shortening people's names on my own terms, sorry! Only people I know well though. Im rarely called by my full name and its not even a name with many nicknames or shortened versions. What does your daughter think of it?

happymummy12345 Wed 20-Feb-19 16:27:22

My parents get so annoyed if anyone shortens my name (double barrelled name). They get a stern "her name is ....-.....). It's never bothered me and I prefer to be called by the shorter version, and I am when my parents are not around. I never understood the problem they had.
However since I've had my son, his name is one that can be shortened to two other names and commonly is. But I personally do not like either shortened version of his name, so his full name is used, we insist on him being called by his full name, not either shortened version. Now I'm in their shoes I completely understand where they've been coming from all these years.

LoniceraJaponica Wed 20-Feb-19 17:08:25

"I'm a bugger for shortening people's names on my own terms"

Don't you think it is rude to do so without asking first?

flowersaremyfave Wed 20-Feb-19 17:16:39

I'm with you op. I think if you don't hear the parents shorten it then you shouldn't. My friends daughter is called Samantha and She only calls her Samantha, I wouldn't dream of shortening her name to sam, I think it's really rude. Fair enough if the parents do but if they don't then you shouldn't assume it's ok.

Different if the kids are teenagers and that's what they go by then that's fine, but when it's small kids I think it's out of order.

Didyeeaye Wed 20-Feb-19 17:20:10

This made me giggle. My mum used to go mad with my friends as they could call and ask for 'Christy' or 'Chris' and her reply was 'I think you have the wrong number' lol My name is Christine so Chris, Chrissy and Christy are natural nicknames that I responded to.
My DS is 4 but is called by a nickname is nursery as some of his wee friends struggled to pronounce his full name so shortened it. It's natural and something you have to consider when selecting a name.

ThreeAnkleBiters Wed 20-Feb-19 17:21:26

It's a term of endearment - you'll soon lose all control over what your DD is referred to. If there's another Megan at school she'll definitely need to chose an alternative. People will also call her "love" , "duck" and "dear" and god knows what else. You'll have to unclench and just be grateful you haven't got anything worse to worry about!

81Byerley Wed 20-Feb-19 17:22:23

My first boyfriend was called Ray. Our friends mum didn't like shortened names and told him he should tell people his name was Raymond. She was a very straight laced woman who was forever criticising us, and wasn't very well liked. He took great pleasure in telling her that Ray WAS his given name!

GregoryPeckingDuck Wed 20-Feb-19 17:22:28

When I was a teenager I had a friend with a brother called Benjamin. Their mother would come in and freak out each time we called him Ben.

notacooldad Wed 20-Feb-19 17:27:20

My mum was the same as you.
I just let people call me what they felt like when she wasn't around.
It was bloody embarrassing hearing her correct the shortened version of my name even though I I preferred it!
At least she hasn't been called Meggie Moo Moo as I heard a member of staff call a child at the Children's centre the other week! That's taking things to far!

Didyeeaye Wed 20-Feb-19 17:28:11

To clarify, his name is not 4 lol I mean he is only 4 and already goes by a nickname.

Insomnibrat Wed 20-Feb-19 17:33:51

YABU for giving her a name which is able and bound to be shortened in such a way if you absolutely didn't want a daughter with a nickname.

Dreamzcancometrue Wed 20-Feb-19 17:47:58

Oh get over it ffs. People are starving and dying everyday due to problems that the first world create and this is what you kick up a stink about....

ChodeofChodeHall Wed 20-Feb-19 18:08:41

YAB hilariously U

TheMadGardener Wed 20-Feb-19 18:18:53

I think OP is fighting a losing battle here.

Once, many years ago, I was teaching Y4 and a new boy was brought to my class by the deputy head. His name was Antonio. I greeted him and asked if he liked to be known as Antonio or if he used a short version. He told me he was always called Tony. Fine, so I always called him Tony and so did all his little friends - he was a popular boy. Some weeks later, it was parents evening, and the first time I met his parents because he was collected by a childminder. I greeted the parents and told them Tony had settled in really well. They looked at me blankly because it turns out he had ALWAYS been Antonio to friends and family until he decided to re-name himself on the day he started our school! He stayed Tony at school after that because we were all used to the name by then.

BrizzleMint Wed 20-Feb-19 18:21:05

It's her choice. My daughter (now an adult) decided a couple of years ago to be Sue not Susan, I don't like it but it's her name not mine so I accept it for what it is.

Topseyt Wed 20-Feb-19 18:52:06

If, as you say, she herself prefers Megan then support her in correcting people every time you hear them shorten it (as tactfully but firmly as you can.

She might change over time, she might not. She might continue to prefer Megan, or she might decide she likes the shortenings or is no longer bothered. Just roll with it. It must be her choice in the end of you will fight a losing battle.

My parents tried to be absolutely rigid insisting that my sister should always be known by the long version of her name, not any of the shortenings (which were her preferred versions). They used to correct her friends whenever they phoned for her or came round and it caused her so much embarrassment. They lost the battle because of my sister's own preferences, and they are now the only ones who never shorten it.

My parents did seem to have a mantra that said that everyone must always be known by their full names, never shortened versions. They have always struggled to explain why they are both known by shortened versions of their own names and always have been.

katseyes7 Wed 20-Feb-19 18:58:28

l hate my name. My parents didn't even choose it. As my mother said "We didn't have any girls names because we (I) wanted a boy so we let your auntie pick it."
l tolerated it until l left school, then ditched the last four letters. But forty years on, even my mother was calling me by the shortened version.
l think maybe your daughter may decide she'd like it shortened, or maybe not. But we don't choose our own names, and l felt very uncomfortable with mine.
However - if l'd been called Megan, l'd have been delighted. lt's a lovely name.

Terribletwos84 Wed 20-Feb-19 19:35:12

🤣 My son is three and already tells people not to shorten his name. I have to laugh when he says 'my name isn't short version, my name is full version'. We decided we would leave it to him, love one shortening but the other i can't stand, knowing my luck he will be shortened to the one i can't stand.
I have a name that my parents thought couldn't be shortened but my partner has managed it and i can't stand it!

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