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AIBU?

To not understand what happens at a strip club?

90 replies

everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:17

Not sure if this is allowed at its 'inspired' by another thread Confused

But

Why does a man go to a strip club if there is not touching of the women or themselves? I genuinely don't understand? If you got a private dance nude thing, but didn't masturbate during it or have sex, then what's that all about?

Not condoning exploitation of women in poverty, just curious on what the attraction is???

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:18

And apologies if this offends or upsets anyone else.

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FuckNuggets · 20/02/2019 01:20

Because the men who go are perverts who think woman are just tits and arse to bought as used as they see fit.

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FuckNuggets · 20/02/2019 01:21

*to be bought and used

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NunoGoncalves · 20/02/2019 01:22

Men just like seeing women naked I guess? Even if they can't touch or do anything? :shrug:

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CeeCee58 · 20/02/2019 01:22

I had many conversations with boyfriend over the years about this.

He said that a lot of it was peer pressure and that he didn’t really want to go when he’d gone when he was younger.

That was the explanation I was offered but I’m sure there are a large range of reasons/excuses!

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Surfingtheweb · 20/02/2019 01:25

The dancers do more than dance for extra money, some are on drugs & get horny & will do more than dance if a guy is good looking & they fancy him - for free. I used to know an ex stripper & her husband owned a strip club.
Other than that the excuses I've heard from men is "it's a late drink"

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Seline · 20/02/2019 01:26

Regular strip clubs I have no idea but burlesque clubs, for the aesthetic.

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minieggsqueen · 20/02/2019 01:29

Lots of strip clubs have girls that allow men to touch them and do other things when having private dances.

Many men go to get off on seeing women naked/flirting with them/ having power by giving them money etc.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:29

Still don't get it. Why pay to get sexually aroused but knowing you can do nothing with that? Seems an odd thing to do. Unless that is the attraction?

I've also heard men say they went due to peer pressure and it was dire

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Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 01:31

I think you do know

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:32

@minieggsqueen

That's what I wondered? Is the 'no touching' a myth and really you a private dance is having some sort of sex

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LonelyMouse · 20/02/2019 01:33

I have been to strip clubs and I have never seen anyone do 'extras' the club would loose there sexual entertainment venue licence if something like this was happening and they were caught. Most clubs have a lot of rules and are strict with them. As for the women in good clubs most earn enough without performing sex acts, women that escort would use something like adultwork.
For men its not much different to porn, they get to see an attractive woman do something sexy. They can have a wank when they get home.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:34

@Lovingbenidorm

Eh, I don't. This relates to another live thread where the poster asks about leaving her partner due to a private dance and I didn't get why he would go there on his own unless it was for sex

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Dreamzcancometrue · 20/02/2019 01:34

What a naive post.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:37

I'm 50 mum of teenagers and never been to a strip club. Maybe I am naive. I'm asking as I don't get it. If a shady man wants sex then go buy sex, or watch porn for instant self relief, why go somewhere that does neither

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:38

@Dreamzcancometrue

Tell me straight. Are strip clubs really sex clubs where men pay for sex?

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minieggsqueen · 20/02/2019 01:40

@LonelyMouse you wouldn't see it because they do it in private rooms (if it's a big enough club).

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CSIblonde · 20/02/2019 01:40

Men are visual. There are girls on stage and/or they can have a private lap dance, but not touch her. They aren't supposed to take money for sex but it dies go on. I've only had one partner see strippers: for a mates stag do. He said the girls checked/'clocked' the mens tie/shoes/watch: & if they were expensive, you got their full attention & offered a lap dance. He wasn't that interested as overtly in your face sexual stuff wasn't his thing, he went for no make up girl next door types.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:43

So can I ask, for clarity as an obviously stupid and naive menopausal woman, if a man goes to a strip club and asks for a private dance then there is a high probability he is paying for sex of some form to take place?

Is that right?

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minieggsqueen · 20/02/2019 01:45

@everythingisbetterafteranap sometimes, yes.

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Seline · 20/02/2019 01:46

I know a man who spends hundreds at these clubs. But he enjoys spending money on women. He's into findom type things so in his case I doubt he has sex with them.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:48

Thank you!

Note to younger posters, when I was a teenager in the 80s you didn't have lap clubs and strips clubs. This is a world that has passed me and a lot of my male contemporaries by. I don't think I've missed out!

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Rtmhwales · 20/02/2019 01:48

Jesus, OP asked here because she had an honest question and was curious. Why is everybody piling on her saying she's naive? Unless you frequent them, how would you really know what they're like?

OP, my flat mate/good friend was a stripper for years. She didn't have sex or do anything extra in the private rooms, but she often exchanged numbers with the men and would later come to some sort of arrangement after hours with some of the men. To do it at work she would've been fired.

I'd imagine it's like watching porn for the men but with a live body that adds to the thrill.

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everythingisbetterafteranap · 20/02/2019 01:50

@Seline

I might regret this, but findom? Eh?

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LonelyMouse · 20/02/2019 01:51

@minieggsqueen well I know the owner of 2 clubs and I've never seen it and I've been in them a hell of a lot, most also have cctv, it would have to be a very seedy place. Also highly unlikely they'd be running it through the till (the other post had a receipt) a fully nude dance lasts about 3 minutes and the clubs I've been to charge around £20 for this. As for sex workers I know a few (mainly cam girls) so I have quite a bit of knowledge on this, most strippers look down on escorts. I'm not saying it doesn't happen but from what I've seen it would be extremely rare.

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