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AIBU or is my FIL a massive CF?!

(113 Posts)
Crummyfunnymummy Tue 19-Feb-19 20:43:56

Ok, so this happened a while back but I’ve never forgiven him! (Though this is meant to be a bit lighthearted). While I was on maternity leave with DC2 PIL asked if they could stay the night. They live a couple of hours away and were visiting relatives who live another 5 hours drive from us (so a 7 hour journey for them). They wanted to stay the night here to break up the journey. Fine with me. My MIL does loads for us and we get on well. My FIL is fond of food so I bought in croissants and posh jam so I could make them a nice breakfast. I should also add that on Mat leave I survived on sugar! Looking after my 2 DC during the day while my DH was at work and BF my DC2 during the night meant I was exhausted. So I had bought myself a delicious triple chocolate muffin and was saving (and very much looking forward to) it for my breakfast the next day. My PIL were going to stay the night, get up, have brekkie and get on their way. I got up and asked my FIL if he would like me to make him a croissant. Ooh yes, says he. Would you like it warmed?, I ask. Oh yes, lovely thanks. I set about croissant warming. Erm, could I have a piece of toast while I’m waiting?, asks FIL. Of course!! I make him some toast with aforementioned posh jam, then a few minutes later a lovely big warm croissant. Anyway, they get on their way. DH goes to work. I run around tidying up, giving DC their brekkie etc. Finally I sit down at about 10.30 with a cuppa and my lovely delicious triple chocolate muffin (I’ve not eaten yet. Muffin is my breakfast. I know, I know, not the healthiest but hey ho, I’ve been up 2 or 3 times to BF in the night and have a looooong day ahead). I open breadbin. Muffin is not there. I look in the cupboards (has somebody moved it maybe??!) Nope. Not in cupboards either. Am starting to panic now. Where is delicious triple chocolate muffin?!! In desperation I ring my DH. Have you eaten it? Have you hidden it? Er no, my DF ate it, was his reply. WTAF??????? cry I. Why? Why did you say he could have it?! I am distressed. DH knows this muffin is key to the day’s survival. Why has he wantonly given it away? Apparently he didn’t give it away. No. My FIL ate it and then told him afterwards - having obviously gone through my cupboards and breadbin on a food hunt!!! Which actually is (a) rude to do in someone’s house I think and (b) just greedy! I’d already made him a croissant (warmed!) and toast (with posh jam!) and it’s not that they hung around for ages after breakfast and got hungry again. They got on their way not long after breakfast. DH said it wasn’t a big deal. Muffins don’t cost much. It was a big deal to me! As you can probably tell as this was 4 years ago and I’m still not over it!! Lol! I was upset about the muffin but I think it was more the greed and bloody audacity of having been put up for the night and made a nice breakfast he then went scavenging through my kitchen, found a SINGLE muffin (triple chocolate!!!!) and didn’t imagine someone might be saving it but just thought he’d help himself! I wouldn’t have minded if there had been 2 but there was only 1! Tell me he is CF of the highest order and IANBU to be fuming! Still!!!!! angry

LEDadjacent Tue 19-Feb-19 20:49:03

Bit rude of FIL but time to let it go!

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen Tue 19-Feb-19 20:49:29


WineAndTiramisu Tue 19-Feb-19 20:51:01

Absolutely unforgivable. However it's been a few years and you need to get over it grin

GoGoGadgetGin Tue 19-Feb-19 20:51:38

I do hope you logged it with 101!

OMGithurts Tue 19-Feb-19 20:53:14

Beat him to death with a muffin.

TitsAndTomatoes Tue 19-Feb-19 20:53:31

Id say you're over reacting.

However. My DH once had the last Gu Zillionaire cheesecake when DD was 4 weeks old and cluster feeding and i almost threw the entire wardrobe at him in anger.
It was my only joy during evenings when id be tits out for a solid 6 hours.
I feel your pain!

TitsAndTomatoes Tue 19-Feb-19 20:54:32

its clear you need to go NC too.

Only a savage would do such a thing.

HirplesWithHaggis Tue 19-Feb-19 20:54:38

YANBU AT ALL!!!! Next time he visits, bake him some lovely triple chocolate muffins. Make them with lovely triple laxative chocolate.

Nah, not really. You've ranted, let it go. grin

ThatssomebadhatHarry Tue 19-Feb-19 20:55:56


HennyPennyHorror Tue 19-Feb-19 20:56:55

God help us. My PILS might do similar...they wouldn't think a thing of it! THey also wouldn;'t care if I ate THEIR last muffin. Move on!

Stayawayfromitsmouth Tue 19-Feb-19 20:58:38

Kill him and bury him under the patio. wink

lrh3891 Tue 19-Feb-19 20:59:04

I know, I know, this is lighthearted, and I know it was years ago. But I would genuinely have been absolutely fucking furious at this! Not the muffin itself- though that is obviously a painful loss grin...but the disrespect, thoughtlessness and greed. Because it's "just a muffin" it maybe does seem like a silly thing to be angry about but everything behind it is totally valid.

That has been 4 years ;)

ATBhinchers Tue 19-Feb-19 21:01:28

4 years ago. Fuck me honestly why you've bothered to write a thread about this, light hearted or not, is truly sad.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Tue 19-Feb-19 21:01:28

I am heartbroken for you, @crummyfunnymummy. The man has no conscience.

Amfeelingfline Tue 19-Feb-19 21:06:59

My FIL is like this, comes in the house and heads straight for the kitchen and eats everything in sight without asking... fruits, toasts, kids snacks. If we’re out he won’t order food for himself but will eat every body’s dish, etc... find it weird and somewhat annoying but it kinda of makes me smile too...

Kathulu Tue 19-Feb-19 21:09:16

How you haven't beaten the greedy old sod to death with a shovel I don't know.

Where I grew up, in God's Country , we have XL Cheesy crisps. The most lovely, cheesy, ambrosia of crisphood ever made.

When I was homesick and pregnant with my second baby my husband ordered a box for me for Christmas as you can't get them where we lived. These were my joy. I saved them, I savoured them. They were my comfort and joy and a little taste of home. Imagine my horror and rage the day I came home and found the fat bastard had eaten my last two packs. My husband found me upstairs packing bags and ready to move home in tears.

The worst thing - he said he didn't even enjoy them! He's still banned from my crisp cupboard.

Purplecatshopaholic Tue 19-Feb-19 21:10:47

Let it go??? Just a thought...

Valentinesschmalentines Tue 19-Feb-19 21:11:31

If someone had taken my muffin, that I was much looking forward to eating, when I was in the thick of BFing I would have been devastated.

Crummyfunnymummy Tue 19-Feb-19 21:11:37

Yes I am “truly sad” and yes, it has been 4 years. Those are both factual statements. But I have ranted now and I’m feeling better already. That said, I am considering buying a heavy duty shovel for next time they visit!!! wink

Crummyfunnymummy Tue 19-Feb-19 21:12:28

And it was meant to be lighthearted, people!

VimFuego101 Tue 19-Feb-19 21:12:33

I still haven't forgiven DH for eating my chili and lime crisps just after DS was born 7 years ago. He didn't help his case by saying 'they weren't even that good'. YANBU obviously.

ReanimatedSGB Tue 19-Feb-19 21:13:12

Well it is bad manners, greedy and selfish to go through the cupboards in someone else's home and eat the last/only one of something without even asking. Particularly if your host has given you plenty to eat at appropriate times. What's he like otherwise - is he generous with food when you visit him? Has he always been like a plague of locusts when he comes to yours? Is he otherwise likeable?

blackteasplease Tue 19-Feb-19 21:14:26

The thing is I do hope someone told him. That there's no way you scavenge any food you like, or take the only one of something, in a house that contains a new (especially bf) mother. That it's just not on.

If someone at some point has told him then o agree you should let it go.

Maelstrop Tue 19-Feb-19 21:15:07

That would make me cross. A lone muffin is obviously destined for someone plus he went through your kitchen to find it AND he'd already had breakfast. Rude!

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