My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

I need help, I’m in a mess and I can’t extricate myself

198 replies

hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:10

I’m in a complete and utter financial mess and have been for a long time. This is despite earning an excellent salary.

I know the usual advice is to contact stepchange etc but they can’t seem to help, I need someone who can.

I have acquired things like parking tickets which I’ve ignored and had a head in the sand approach to, easy as I’ve worked abroad for a while. So haven’t received letters etc.

Every month I am having hundreds taken off me by bailiffs. This isn’t step changes remit, that’s more cc/loan debt. Although I have those too.

My credit file is shocking or else I’d take a loan and sort it that way. Basically I owe a lot of people a lot of money.

I can’t seem to get advice anywhere. I was speaking to one company this morning but he couldn’t help as I earned too much. (So this isn’t a begging thread, I admit this is my fault but if I’m ever going to sort it I need help.)

Anyone legal about at all?

OP posts:
Report
user1498854363 · 19/02/2019 09:12

Op what help do you need/want?

You need to write a list of what you have coming in and your expenses then what you need to pay

Contact creditors and agree repayment terms.

It’s not easy but one step at a time

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:14

You can’t - with bailiffs, they demand the lot because from their POV they have sent letters which you’ve ignored which I did although I was away ... but anyway they don’t accept payment plans.

It’s stressful. I’m on edge constantly.

OP posts:
Report
StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2019 09:15

Well you need to get advice as to what options you have (bankruptcy?) and come up with a plan. Who can help you do this

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:21

That is why I am asking here.

I don’t know who can help where bailiffs are concerned as it isn’t normal debt, even bankruptcy wouldn’t help.

OP posts:
Report
RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 19/02/2019 09:23

Have you tried CAP?

(Christians Against Poverty). You don't have to be a Christian.

Report
Darkstar4855 · 19/02/2019 09:23

Have you tried Citizen’s Advice or the National Debtline?

You need to get as much paperwork as you can together and work out how much you owe and to whom. If you ring the debt collection agencies that are sending the bailiffs round you might be able to negotiate a payment plan. Pay off any secured debts first, then move on to the ones with the highest rates of interest. Phone them up and see if they will freeze the interest in exchange for regilar payments. Work out how much you need to live on each month and how much you have leftover to pay off debts. Don’t commit to payment plans that are more than you can afford.

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:24

No ... aren’t they similar to Stepchange though in that they negotiate with creditors for a debt management plan?

OP posts:
Report
SassitudeandSparkle · 19/02/2019 09:24

You must be getting letters if it's at the stage of courts and bailiffs - collect the letters together and write down how much you owe. The sooner you pay it all the debt will stop spiralling. What is it about collating the information that is stopping you from doing it?

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:25

It’s for parking fines and things like that but they are now obviously hundreds of pounds.

OP posts:
Report
Houseonahill · 19/02/2019 09:26

What are your non negotiable bills (mortgage, utilities etc) and what do you have left? How much do the bailiffs want every month?

My understanding was debt relief companies could help no matter what you earned so long as you could prove what was coming in didn't match what was going out.

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:27

That’s just it. It does, on paper, I’m fine.

But on a credit search you don’t get the bailiffs stuff which is so much I feel sick about it. And it’s that which is meaning I can’t pay other stuff. Like I say it is just a mess.

OP posts:
Report
BarbarianMum · 19/02/2019 09:28

Short term you need to work out what you owe to whom and pay off as much as ypu can. You should be able to do most of that yourself.
Medium term you need some sort of therapy to work out why you have problems obeying the law and taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. Im not saying that to ve unkind but I bet there's something quite deep rooted going on.

Report
BarbarianMum · 19/02/2019 09:29

Sorry, not so much ibeying the law as obeying the rules (where to park, paying fines).

Report
SileneOliveira · 19/02/2019 09:30

There are always options and you can extricate yourself.

At the moment, you are choosing not to and making excuses about being away. As others have suggested, make lists, get it all down on paper and seek professional debt counselling advice.

Stop burying your head in the sand and ignoring it.

Report
MRex · 19/02/2019 09:30

How much do you earn and how much do you owe both in total and to different parties? What do you have in savings, pension and expensive assets.

If you "earn too much" then that means you have the ability to repay the debt. So all you need is a plan.

Report
HeyCarrieAnneWhatsYourGame · 19/02/2019 09:32

How many parking tickets are we talking about here? It must be loads to have got to this point? How? I don’t fully understand the issue if I’m honest, is your credit file poor because of the parking tickets? Why- because you didn’t originally pay them when they happened?

Report
FancyPantsMcGhee · 19/02/2019 09:33

I used to volunteer at Citizens Advice Bureau (I'm a solicitor) and dealt with this type of situation frequently. I remember clearly one man who came in who was a professor at a prestigious university nearby, he earned a very decent salary. He had split up with his wife and around the same time got a few parking tickets - the circumstances just sent him into a downward spiral. He hadn't paid the tickets, or his bills, or opened his post for about 6 months. He just couldn't face it. Together we opened his post and dealt with each bill methodically, contacting the creditors and trying to agree how he would proceed in relation to each debt.

I was surprised as I hadn't come across this sort of individual before - educated, well-paid, well-spoken but in a cycle of debt and denial, but he was not the first or the last. You're not alone!

Would CAB be an option near you? I hope you can find the help you need and sort everything out. The stress must be overwhelming.

Report
Afamat · 19/02/2019 09:33

You really need to speak to your creditors, bailiffs included. Be honest about your situation and have a list of your outgoings to hand that u can email etc to them.
Lots of people get into debt but you can't get blood out of a stone. I'm sure they would be happy to receiving a smaller amount on a monthly basis if it meant you could carry on paying off the debt.

Report
Houseonahill · 19/02/2019 09:34

What can you cut back on? How long left have you got on paying the bailiffs? It sounds like once they are paid off you will be able to do a proper budget and pay off the other things?

Report
TwinkleTits70 · 19/02/2019 09:35

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Try Moneysavingexpert. There's a whole section on becoming debt free. It has helped people with 10's of thousands of pounds of debt.

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:36

Silenne that is exactly what I am trying to do.

Barbarian I gave no criminal record.

He bailiffs don’t negotiate

OP posts:
Report
PBo83 · 19/02/2019 09:37

There is always a solution (speaking from experience) but it sounds like you need advice. Debtline are very good.

With regards the 'bailiffs' are they actually bailiffs? When I was in a similar situation (again, my own fault), I would get visits from 'doorstep collection agents' who had no authority whatsoever to collect money from you, just make sure you know who you're actually talking to (if they threaten to take goods then they will need permission from the courts to do so*).

*I believe

Private parking firms are notoriously aggressive when it comes to collections. They will often you intimidating letter/phonecalls to try and get money from you. This is often a tactic employed because they actually have a genuine lack of authority to collect.

First step is to work out how much you owe and to who. This is a horrible task and, invariably, the figure is bigger than you initially think it will be (mine was almost double). At least then you know what you are up against. Then deal with every creditor one at a time, tell them you can't pay and ask for a hold to be put on any collections for 60 days. This gives you a chance to sort things. If they agree (most will) then you have time to communicate (by letter, always in writing) with everyone to outline your situation and make arrangements.

Make sure your rent and council tax are paid before anything else.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

BifsWif · 19/02/2019 09:38

How much do you owe to bailiffs?

Be honest. We can help.

Report
hidinginabubble · 19/02/2019 09:40

The company is Jacobs, I owe nearly £400 but that won’t be the only one. I’ve already paid £2000 this year.

OP posts:
Report
PoshPenny · 19/02/2019 09:40

I think you need to sit down, wade through the mountains of paperwork/unopened mail I'm assuming you have and work out exactly what you owe and to whom. I know only too well what a pain that will be but you have to do it. That in itself may well be enough to stop you in your tracks when you see how much money you lose by not paying the parking ticket straight away. I'm not judging, I used to be just as bad myself.
Once you've worked out your situation, you should have a clearer idea of where you're heading. I think CAB And then CAP to get you back on the right road. But they won't be any good until you've worked out the scale of the problem. Surely it's getting better as you keep paying the bailiffs off each time they visit you? I don't think that there is any other way to get out of the mess, all you can do is make sure it doesn't happen again.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.