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To not want to be contacted by PIL about this whilst on holiday?

(265 Posts)
Holidayrage Mon 18-Feb-19 21:16:44

We (me, DH, 3DC) are currently abroad on holiday and have been since Friday. To avoid drip feeding, DH and I both work, DH is full time and I work 4 days per week. I am 21 weeks into a stressful pregnancy, having suffered a partial placental abruption at 19 weeks. As a result I am having to take things very easy. Plus, this is the only chance we will get for a family break until the end of May.

PIL called this evening and apparently want to talk to me about liability insurance. This has nothing to do with my area of work at all, but apparently as I am a solicitor they want to ask me. This has now caused a row with DH as apparently I am being very unreasonable in not wanting to deal with this whilst on holiday. Honestly when I saw the number come up I thought they must be calling with bad news...since we saw them only 3 days ago (the day we left) and are back on Friday anyway.

So, mumsnet jury, AIBU not to want to be bothered on holiday about this?!

AnnaMagnani Mon 18-Feb-19 21:35:42


My ILs decided to discuss a derogatory news story related to my specialty over Christmas dinner. DH (then my fiance) did not see the problem.

It was only after we had strong words that he wised up, otherwise he would never have progressed to husband material.

You are on holiday. Your ILs should frankly only be contacting you if one of them was seriously ill.

pictish Mon 18-Feb-19 21:36:15

I’d call them back if only to say “Not my area, I’m afraid I won’t be much help. Hope you can find someone who knows more than me.”

I think it’s quite unfriendly to grudge them a courtesy call. Sorry.

FlagFish Mon 18-Feb-19 21:36:22

Well, personally I would have taken the call and answered their query. Assuming it's a 5 minute things - obvs I wouldn't be doing lots of complicated research while on holiday.

However, it is your choice, and you've made a different one to the one I would have made. I think your DH is being completely unreasonable in trying to force you into it.

IDoN0tCare Mon 18-Feb-19 21:36:49

it's no stress to you.

Are you seriously telling the OP how she should feel? Really?

HotSauceCommittee Mon 18-Feb-19 21:39:44

I might have given them five/ten minutes because I love my in laws even though they are as crazy as my own parents, but that’s it. The minute my DH started acting like a dick, everyone can fuck off and DH would be told to go and stick his cock up his arse.
Dig your heels in and tell DH to get over himself/to fuck. Happy pregnancy. Chill.

RomanyQueen1 Mon 18-Feb-19 21:40:27

Your dh has told them you'll call tomorrow.
Does he always tell you what to do?

TowelNumber42 Mon 18-Feb-19 21:42:09

Get them to email DH their questions. You can respond at your leisure by dictating answers to DH. If it were me the answers would be mostly don't know, try <colleague>

ruthieness Mon 18-Feb-19 21:42:31

i think people have no idea that a solicitor cannot just have a general chat - as soon as any details are imparted it gets under your skin and you end up fretting over it and researching until you have an answer and you cannot make any general comments without having referable sources - it is a serious imposition on anyone let alone on holiday and whilst you are supposed to be taking it easy!

Holidayrage Mon 18-Feb-19 21:45:05

Interesting to see a bit more of a mixed response now. Any other time I would have been happy to have the discussion about whatever insurance it is but I feel we should be able to relax on holiday without our evenings being interrupted with calls about things which (to them at least) seem work related.

Now I may as well speak to them as they have stressed me out whether the call takes place or not...

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Mon 18-Feb-19 21:46:32

Is it often the case that your husband does whatever he needs to in order to appease his demanding parents? Surely his priority should be making sure you are rested and well, rather than trying to bully you into doing whatever his parents want?

FWIW I'd never phone anyone who is on holiday unless there was a dire emergency. I think in the circumstances it's doubly unreasonable of them to have done so. And all for something that isn't your area anyway! Let them whistle for their call!

Ellie56 Mon 18-Feb-19 21:46:36

Your DH sounds like a twat.Remind him that you are supposed to be taking things easy. You are on holiday, to relax, not to do anything related to work stuff, and as you know naff all about liability insurance, you won't be ringing back tomorrow. hmm

Then I would switch all the phones off and hide them.

Maelstrop Mon 18-Feb-19 21:46:50

Do you have their number? If so, text and tell them you know nothing about this area.

Wtf is wrong with your DH? Why is he stressing you out with this bollocks?

7yo7yo Mon 18-Feb-19 21:47:09

I’d say you have a couple of minutes, I’m on holiday. Your husband is a dick.

sackrifice Mon 18-Feb-19 21:51:47

'Hi. DH wanted me to call tomorrow but there really is no need, as I know absolutely nothing about liability insurance. See you when we get back.'

MereDintofPandiculation Mon 18-Feb-19 21:54:15

My ILs decided to discuss a derogatory news story related to my specialty over Christmas dinner. DH (then my fiance) did not see the problem. I don't really see the problem either. If you have a speciality, then presumably you work in something that you actually wanted to do. So isn't it interesting even over Christmas dinner? Or have I spent too long in an academic environment?

On the other hand if the derogatory aspect was involving you personally in stress, I do understand.

cheminotte Mon 18-Feb-19 21:54:26

At the risk of sounding seriously old fashioned, I miss being able to totally switch off on holiday.
My DPs or DPILs have never rung me and I don’t check my work emails, but some colleagues who have my personal number have occasionally texted some gossip they think I should know. I really don’t even want to think about work when I’m on holiday.
Years ago you had a week or two in Greece and didn’t even see an English newspaper for a week or two if you were away from the main resorts. No email, no phone calls. Fab!

Bahhhhhumbug Mon 18-Feb-19 21:54:29

Nooooo, don't call them that's a precedent set right there, you say you don't want to, your dh says you should, your dh tells someone you are going to do it anyway.
Plus l hate CFers getting their own way, really bugs me and lm on holiday too grin

chocolateworshipper Mon 18-Feb-19 21:55:19

It's a bit of a "it depends" question - if it's a simple question with a simple answer, then YABU. If it's a case that they need to give you lots of information in order that you can give the right advice, and you'd need to weigh up lots of pros and cons, then YANBU.

llangennith Mon 18-Feb-19 21:59:03

I'd be irritated at them phoning too, or rather I'd be irritated that they felt it was ok to interrupt my holiday with something that could probably wait or that they could research themselves.
When you ring them back be business-like and courteous but not overly friendly.

unitoast Mon 18-Feb-19 21:59:59

Why aren't they asking this question to their Insurer?
It's so rude of them to disturb your holiday.

NCjustforthisthread Mon 18-Feb-19 22:00:09

your husband sounds like an absolute idiot. Youre on holiday. This can wait! He should not get to dictate when YOU will call them, if you will call them. YOU get to say if they get a call and when.

AdaColeman Mon 18-Feb-19 22:00:22

Don't ring them! If they ring you, which they probably will, just say that you don't know the answer.

Then pour yourself another iced coffee!

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Mon 18-Feb-19 22:00:54

Send them an invoice!

kaytee87 Mon 18-Feb-19 22:02:27

If it was my MIL I'd speak to her but I /DH keep in touch with her whilst on holiday anyway sending her pictures of DS and checking how her and (disabled) BIL are so it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to take a phone call from her.
I think if it's just a quick question then just do it. Just be clear with them it's not your area and keep it short on the phone.

PyongyangKipperbang Mon 18-Feb-19 22:03:57

"Sorry, dont know anything about liability insurance, not my area of expertise. Hope you are well, speak when we are back!"

Is DH often likely to kick off at you over his parents?

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