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IATotallyU - come and kick me into touch.

(59 Posts)
SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:12:23

I’ve been in training for 3 weeks part time for a new job and today was the first day of being on the ‘shop floor’ as it were.

I’m completely overwhelmed at the task I’ve set myself, even though I know I’m capable. The last couple of years have been dominated by anxiety - I’ve been loads better recently and have felt ready to go back to work.

And yet here I am, hiding in a dark corner at home trying to compose myself away from DCs. I am so, so scared about going back tomorrow. Anxiety is winning, I feel like shit and I want to give up before I’ve even started.

Clearly this is completely unreasonable - so in the best AIBU form give it to me and tell me to stop being such a bloody idiot, pull myself together and get on with it.

<Braced for AIBU truthfulness>

Readytogogogo Mon 18-Feb-19 18:13:59

flowers You can do it. Take it day by day.

FadedRed Mon 18-Feb-19 18:17:35

Tell anxiety to fuck off. As loud as you can, as often as you can.
You are perfectly capable of doing this.

OurChristmasMiracle Mon 18-Feb-19 18:17:35

YANBU it’s a big scary step! Rather than focusing on tomorrow, look at how far you’ve already come!! You have done 3 weeks of training. You are step by step overcoming this anxiety. It will not win

Be gentle with yourself. flowers

PS - I’m not gonna kick you but I will gently nudge you in the direction of confidence

Floralhousecoat Mon 18-Feb-19 18:17:53

I find breathing exercises really helpful in these cases where my mind goes into overdrive.

Just remember your training. You know more than you think you do. You got this. Xx

GinUnicorn Mon 18-Feb-19 18:18:43

I think you are being crazy hard on yourself.

It’s scary and new. Take a few breaths and remember you are human and it will take you a little time to adjust. That doesn’t make you a failure.

Good luck OP. You can do this.flowers

Aquamarine1029 Mon 18-Feb-19 18:22:03

Your anxiety is nothing more than an annoying rush of cortisol that only tricks you into believing you're not capable. Move around, shake your arms, bounce up and down, keep yourself busy. It will pass. The very WORST things you can do is cower away and let them overwhelm you. Tell your anxiety to give it all it's got and then tell it to fuck right off. YOU are in control, not some stupid anxiety.

SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:26:29

Well they’re all very nice replies thank you (vipers, where are you?!!!!)

I have learnt how to manage it so well, and I know I’ve just got to push through and beat it. Sometimes it’s hard to find the energy to do that... it’s hard to keep fighting all the time.

LongWalkShortPlank Mon 18-Feb-19 18:29:44

I had this in September after being an unemployed single mum. I was over the moon to find a job in a school that fit around my dc after being unemployed for a few years. I felt completely useless, I was hard on myself and I dreaded going back every day because I had convinced myself that I must have been awful and everyone must hate me. An ex had recently knocked my confidence and its just starting to come back, but one thing I am quietly confident with now is my job. You just need a little time to settle in, I bet you're doing fantastic. And you should be so proud of yourself for getting this far. But the pp are right, don't hide away. You've got this.

sequinafortune Mon 18-Feb-19 18:39:57

Kick!
Nah, gentle nudge in the right direction flowers
Your anxiety can fuck right off, because you've got shit to do!
Breathe. Keep breathing. It's the first thing to go when feeling anxious.
You've done your training, and you're 3 weeks in. If you have questions, or aren't sure, then ask. There's never any shame in asking for help or clarification.
Make sure you're feeling your best tomorrow. If you wear make up, make sure it's gorgeous, with a bright lippy.
If not, make sure your hair is as you like it/your clothes are smart/your shoes are shiny/hell, your perfume is awesome! It doesn't matter what, or how you do it, but leave the house feeling your best.
Head up high, and remember the nest here who are all rooting for you. You've got this! flowers

sequinafortune Mon 18-Feb-19 18:42:46

OP, I'm 2 months in to a new job, and there are days I feel completely overwhelmed. I can't let that feeling win though, because if I wasn't capable I wouldn't be there. It's hard, and it's stressful, but I get it done. We can do it together. wine

BrizzleMint Mon 18-Feb-19 18:44:39

You've done so well to get the job, give yourself a massive pat on the back and a large glass of wine and tell yourself you can do it. Anxiety can fuck off.

FascinatingCarrot Mon 18-Feb-19 18:46:03

Keep going my lovely. Deep breaths, treat yourself to something you want with those well earned wages and please pat yourself on the back.
You've got this far! Well done

SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:48:17

Thank you all. Weird isn’t it how a load of words on a screen can help. I’m out of hiding and cuddling littlest DCs. Biggest DC has just sent me an ‘you got this meme’ and given me a hug so she’s sussed me out. She’s pretty awesome.

Ok. No more crying. Bag is also packed and ready to go. I’ll face tomorrow with vipers in my pocket.

FascinatingCarrot Mon 18-Feb-19 18:50:17

Your daughter sounds fab

SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:52:38

She really is amazing. When DD2 was unwell (the trigger of the worst anxiety) she was completely incredible. I feel incredibly guilty that she’s seen me at my weakest and most vulnerable and yet so grateful that she’s in my corner.

FascinatingCarrot Mon 18-Feb-19 19:03:57

Dont feel guilty. Shell be so proud of seeing you fighting through

UnderMajorDomoMinor Mon 18-Feb-19 19:10:31

Op everyone feels scared and anxious in a new job. They might not feel it as badly as you but it is a rare person who strides out with no shred of doubt.

Anxiety is tenacious but you’re doing fab and if you have a wobble people will understand.

MzHz Mon 18-Feb-19 19:16:30

Fellow anxiety sufferer here, it’s just utterly crap

You absolutely have got this, have you tried Rescue remedy? That really gives me a bit of a boost and helps me cope

Can you also imagine that we’re all there with you, we know you can do this (((Hug)))

SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 19:24:14

I’d actually forgotten about RR, I have some stashed somewhere. Oh, and some Kalms they might help with sleep tonight. I’ll dig them out now.

MzHz Mon 18-Feb-19 22:01:44

Brilliant! It helped me with agoraphobia and right now it helps me with general anxiety ensuing from a bloody awful work situation

Just having it in my bag makes me feel just that little bit better

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 06:23:21

sad

Anxiety ramped up late last night. I’ve been awake since 4am. Now feel like I’m looking down a shotgun.... paralysed by fear. I can’t do it. I just can’t.

Tillygetsit Tue 19-Feb-19 06:31:18

You can you know. Deep breath. You're going to be fantastic.

NeverHadANickname Tue 19-Feb-19 06:38:16

You can do this. You got through yesterday and you can get through today. I believe in you.

Shinyletsbebadguys Tue 19-Feb-19 06:43:29

Things are always worse at that time of night....nothing is real in your head between 3am and 6 am I promise

And now that bit is over leave it in the night where it belongs

You have got this you really have

Break this morning into smaller steps ...you aren't going into work yet , you are just getting up , then when you are done you are just getting in the shower.....see what I mean ?

Break this morning into very small tasks one at a time

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