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IATotallyU - come and kick me into touch.

(59 Posts)
SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:12:23

I’ve been in training for 3 weeks part time for a new job and today was the first day of being on the ‘shop floor’ as it were.

I’m completely overwhelmed at the task I’ve set myself, even though I know I’m capable. The last couple of years have been dominated by anxiety - I’ve been loads better recently and have felt ready to go back to work.

And yet here I am, hiding in a dark corner at home trying to compose myself away from DCs. I am so, so scared about going back tomorrow. Anxiety is winning, I feel like shit and I want to give up before I’ve even started.

Clearly this is completely unreasonable - so in the best AIBU form give it to me and tell me to stop being such a bloody idiot, pull myself together and get on with it.

<Braced for AIBU truthfulness>

flumpybear Wed 20-Feb-19 15:24:12

Well done you 👍👍👍🍾

SandunesAndRainclouds Wed 20-Feb-19 15:18:24

Day 2 ✔️

I’ve survived! Feeling loads better. Thanks again all!

notapizzaeater Wed 20-Feb-19 09:19:30

Fantastic, I'd write down in a note how you are feeling now and when you get home to look at it on bad days to see how you survived and conquered it.

mogtheexcellent Wed 20-Feb-19 08:38:53

Wow. That's fabulous. Well done you.

Sounds weird but I always do an ally mc Beale style inner song when I need a bit of oomf in my confidence. Currently its Happy by pharrell Williams

SandunesAndRainclouds Wed 20-Feb-19 07:08:10

So day 2 is better than day 1. I’ve slept (hooray!!) and I’ve managed to eat this morning. Two very big positives there.

DorotheaHomeAlone Tue 19-Feb-19 20:27:35

On the surface I appear very calm and confident but I HATE starting new things and become a ball of terror and first doubt. I always convince myself that I’m terribly suited to whatever I’ve just begun and should just quit before they realise. I get through it by focusing on the short term (you just need to go this week then we’ll reevaluate), by reminding myself that everyone gets anxious at first, by remembering that everything I’ve loved doing I hated and felt anxious at first, and by aggressively shooting down any negative self talk in my head (I say ‘this is just your anxiety ‘ either in my head or out loud). You’ve done the hardest day. You can do the rest of this week and next week will be easier.

BuckBuckMcFate Tue 19-Feb-19 20:21:14

I'd say you've earned some half term time off from the kids 😉

mummmy2017 Tue 19-Feb-19 20:19:18

List the worse things you can think of happening .
Getting kidnapped by aliens.
Sink hole... Ect
Then cross them all out tomorrow night when you get home.

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 20:16:10

Thank you again for the support.

I can still feel the anxiety, almost a threat but coping ok so far this evening. Feeling guilty for not being around during half term - I’ve only been home for the DCs every single day for the last 6 years so I’m an utter failure, right?!

PeterPiperPickedWrong Tue 19-Feb-19 18:42:04

Yay! You did it! smile
When I started my new job -total career change-I hardly slept for the whole first week. Several years on it’s just a distant memory. I hope you sleep well tonight. Little tip. Someone once told me that when your mind is racing and won’t switch off just say the word THE over and over in your head and just focus on saying that. I don’t know why but it does work.

NeverHadANickname Tue 19-Feb-19 17:41:53

Well done. You deserve a rest. Keep posting if you have any more wobbles.

ememem84 Tue 19-Feb-19 14:44:27

Yay! Well done. Day one done. Just do today again. That’s all you have to do. One day at a time. It’ll get easier xx

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 14:42:35

Ok so I’ve survived the first day. Phew. Wobbled most of the day, trembling inside but faked a big smile all day.

I’ve spoke to my line manager and told her how hard it’s been to get back and she was so supportive - has had a similar experience to me so knew what it was like.

I’m knackered now!!

MzHz Tue 19-Feb-19 14:16:11

Yay!! Well done you!! Let us know how you get on?

FadedRed Tue 19-Feb-19 13:28:31

Oops - one too many sands in there!

FadedRed Tue 19-Feb-19 13:27:17

We’re all here rooting for you!
Change your username to ‘Goldensandsandsandsunshine’ ? grin

NeverHadANickname Tue 19-Feb-19 11:08:05

Well done. I hope your day goes well. I'll be thinking about you too.

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 10:43:12

I’m here, I’m going it and everyone is still alive... thanks for all the support

TheDarkPassenger Tue 19-Feb-19 08:29:44

I was the exact same I fully changed career and it set off this anxiety deep inside me that I couldn’t control. I spent the first 3 weeks of my new job with the shits and having panic attacks every single day. Breathing helps so much and I know it sounds hard but just pretending to be carefree like I used to be, sort of fake it til you make it. Seemed to work. I do have my own desk though so I take home comforts to keep there, not sure of this is something you can do

OffToBedhampton Tue 19-Feb-19 08:13:50

Sandunes will walk around at work today thinking of you every now and then. So remember that you'll have a few MNers doing same to give you a boost.

You can do it!

And if you think 'i dont know what to do, it's all scary;" at any point - tell yourself " So bloody what?! It's my first day(/week/month/year)!!! They expect this! " 😁

DailyBaileys Tue 19-Feb-19 07:26:33

I'm a little late, but, remember:

Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway!

The anxiety will dissipate after you get there...

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 07:12:01

I’m on my way. DH driving, kids in pyjamas.

Cuttingthegrass Tue 19-Feb-19 07:04:58

Focus on what you’ve learned in your training once you get to work. Don’t try and think before you get there.

You’ve got this. You will do it.

PeterPiperPickedWrong Tue 19-Feb-19 07:04:33

You can do it!
The anticipation of it is worse than doing it. Once you get there you will be fine.
Come and tell us how you got on later flowers

Icepinkeskimo Tue 19-Feb-19 07:03:43

Just wanted to send you good luck this morning, walk in with a smile on your face and chin up. The anxiety is overwhelming I know, but deep breaths and focus on the weekend and plan something nice.

You can do this, I just know you can 👍🏻

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