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IATotallyU - come and kick me into touch.

(59 Posts)
SandunesAndRainclouds Mon 18-Feb-19 18:12:23

I’ve been in training for 3 weeks part time for a new job and today was the first day of being on the ‘shop floor’ as it were.

I’m completely overwhelmed at the task I’ve set myself, even though I know I’m capable. The last couple of years have been dominated by anxiety - I’ve been loads better recently and have felt ready to go back to work.

And yet here I am, hiding in a dark corner at home trying to compose myself away from DCs. I am so, so scared about going back tomorrow. Anxiety is winning, I feel like shit and I want to give up before I’ve even started.

Clearly this is completely unreasonable - so in the best AIBU form give it to me and tell me to stop being such a bloody idiot, pull myself together and get on with it.

<Braced for AIBU truthfulness>

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 06:44:39

I’m showered and dressed.


Going to try and eat.

chipshopElvis Tue 19-Feb-19 06:50:28

You can do it! In a few hours it will all be over and you can have a treat for pushing through. One foot in front of the other, fake it till you make it!

Nishky Tue 19-Feb-19 06:51:06

Good Luck - not that you need it - you have got this.

Someone said to me decades ago ‘ this is one day out of your life’ - even now I find myself saying ‘one day’ in my head at times of anxiety

flumpybear Tue 19-Feb-19 06:51:29

There's four stages to new jobs

Unconsciously incompetent
Consciously incompetent (you today)
Unconsciously competent
Consciously competent

EVERYONE goes through this, please don't worry, yes it's scary but people who are new go through a period of learning, it's fine, allow yourself this and before you know it you'll b doing it well without realising - good luck

Purplecatshopaholic Tue 19-Feb-19 06:56:16

You WILL be ok. I have terrible anxiety (started last year and really hit me for six), so I know how you feel. Breathing exercises can help, and Mindfulness approaches. And I hope you are getting support from your GP and appropriate medication. A new job is always challenging for anyone so you are not alone.

Mummadeeze Tue 19-Feb-19 06:58:04

Hey, just wanted to say that I have a good career and have lots of experience and am very used to working in my field. But when starting a new job, I have also felt very overwhelmed in the first few weeks. It can be really scary. What I have done, is used the toilets to go and sit in for a few minutes every few hours to take some time out, breathe, think, give myself a pep talk. I also made sure I took my full lunch break and went and did something relaxing and nice like take a book and read in a cafe or go and sit in the jacuzzi/steam room at the local gym, or just walk in the park nearby. Taking breaks and time out of the day when you are being bombarded with new information is so important. I also confided in a few people that I was feeling the effects of being a newbie and would they mind if I asked them lots of questions or asked them for help on certain things as ‘we did things slightly differently in my old work’. I put in catch ups with people of my own bat just to get tips on how things were done, documents they used that I might not know about etc etc. People tend to be really nice when you are asking to learn from them. And if people ask you a question you are not sure of the answer to, even if you should know, don’t be afraid to say you are still getting your head round everything and will get back to them. Don’t beat yourself up, take things at your own pace. You can do it. And as others have said, once you are settled in your confidence will soar and you will look back and wonder what you were worrying about.

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 06:58:12

Thanks for all the support.

Meds - I manage without. GP refused beta blockers and I had a drug reaction to two SSRIs.

AstralTraveller Tue 19-Feb-19 06:59:08

You are me today OP. I have a days work as a freelance. I am there on Thursday too. I have done a few days there already but it makes me ill with anxiety. I need the money for now though and it's that that is keeping me going there.

Loseitandkeepitlost Tue 19-Feb-19 07:03:08

You can do this. The anticipation of going will feel worse than actually being there.

One day at a time. One hour at a time if it’s better for you. You’re up, dressed and ready, at 4am you probably felt you couldn’t achieve that but you did it!

Have a good day today!

Icepinkeskimo Tue 19-Feb-19 07:03:43

Just wanted to send you good luck this morning, walk in with a smile on your face and chin up. The anxiety is overwhelming I know, but deep breaths and focus on the weekend and plan something nice.

You can do this, I just know you can 👍🏻

PeterPiperPickedWrong Tue 19-Feb-19 07:04:33

You can do it!
The anticipation of it is worse than doing it. Once you get there you will be fine.
Come and tell us how you got on later flowers

Cuttingthegrass Tue 19-Feb-19 07:04:58

Focus on what you’ve learned in your training once you get to work. Don’t try and think before you get there.

You’ve got this. You will do it.

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 07:12:01

I’m on my way. DH driving, kids in pyjamas.

DailyBaileys Tue 19-Feb-19 07:26:33

I'm a little late, but, remember:

Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway!

The anxiety will dissipate after you get there...

OffToBedhampton Tue 19-Feb-19 08:13:50

Sandunes will walk around at work today thinking of you every now and then. So remember that you'll have a few MNers doing same to give you a boost.

You can do it!

And if you think 'i dont know what to do, it's all scary;" at any point - tell yourself " So bloody what?! It's my first day(/week/month/year)!!! They expect this! " 😁

TheDarkPassenger Tue 19-Feb-19 08:29:44

I was the exact same I fully changed career and it set off this anxiety deep inside me that I couldn’t control. I spent the first 3 weeks of my new job with the shits and having panic attacks every single day. Breathing helps so much and I know it sounds hard but just pretending to be carefree like I used to be, sort of fake it til you make it. Seemed to work. I do have my own desk though so I take home comforts to keep there, not sure of this is something you can do

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 10:43:12

I’m here, I’m going it and everyone is still alive... thanks for all the support

NeverHadANickname Tue 19-Feb-19 11:08:05

Well done. I hope your day goes well. I'll be thinking about you too.

FadedRed Tue 19-Feb-19 13:27:17

We’re all here rooting for you!
Change your username to ‘Goldensandsandsandsunshine’ ? grin

FadedRed Tue 19-Feb-19 13:28:31

Oops - one too many sands in there!

MzHz Tue 19-Feb-19 14:16:11

Yay!! Well done you!! Let us know how you get on?

SandunesAndRainclouds Tue 19-Feb-19 14:42:35

Ok so I’ve survived the first day. Phew. Wobbled most of the day, trembling inside but faked a big smile all day.

I’ve spoke to my line manager and told her how hard it’s been to get back and she was so supportive - has had a similar experience to me so knew what it was like.

I’m knackered now!!

ememem84 Tue 19-Feb-19 14:44:27

Yay! Well done. Day one done. Just do today again. That’s all you have to do. One day at a time. It’ll get easier xx

NeverHadANickname Tue 19-Feb-19 17:41:53

Well done. You deserve a rest. Keep posting if you have any more wobbles.

PeterPiperPickedWrong Tue 19-Feb-19 18:42:04

Yay! You did it! smile
When I started my new job -total career change-I hardly slept for the whole first week. Several years on it’s just a distant memory. I hope you sleep well tonight. Little tip. Someone once told me that when your mind is racing and won’t switch off just say the word THE over and over in your head and just focus on saying that. I don’t know why but it does work.

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