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AIBU?

Visitor's access to your fridge

120 replies

Magnificentbeast · 18/02/2019 15:52

This one is on the light-hearted side. I am curious.

Do the friends' of your DCs have 'free' access to your fridge/food? My DC had a friend over recently who declared that 'her' fridge is an open house to anyone who comes to her house. At the same time implying that this should be the case in all houses. She's 10. This was the first time she had been to our house.

I'm not really sure why but I didn't feel comfortable with this idea. I also wouldn't like the idea of my DC (they wouldn't) to go to a friend's house and help themselves to the contents of the fridge.

I'm not sure if it makes a difference but this particular friend has a health condition which requires her to have a restricted diet. I gave her lunch as directed by her mother but no guidance on snacks. She said that her DC knows what she can eat. She was hungry again later so I ran through which snacks we had in so that she could tell me what she could eat. This involved her having a nose through our fridge and cupboards. This isn't my AIBU as there was a 'consultation' going on. It's more the idea that anyone's fridge is an open-house.

I then started to wonder if I'm BU about it.

OP posts:

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Slowknitter · 18/02/2019 15:53

My dc don't have free access to the fridge, never mind their friends!

RiverTam · 18/02/2019 15:53

god, no! I don't even like DD rootling through it - I shop in a very specific way and can't do with anyone buggering around with my meal plans!

Wolfiefan · 18/02/2019 15:53

How rude!
If they finish off the cheese and you wanted it for dinner?
Not everyone has the money to keep an overstocked fridge in case visitors want snacks or are prepared to waste food and money if they don’t.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 18/02/2019 15:54

No. Thats incredibly rude I'm afraid.

Twickerhun · 18/02/2019 15:55

No one has free access to the fridge here except me and DP. The kids (all under 11) have to ask or are offered food and their friends are offered food only.

punishmepunisher · 18/02/2019 15:55

No! Cheeky little mare.

Justmuddlingalong · 18/02/2019 15:56

It sounds like she's talking shit. In that convincing way only a 10 year old can.

Wynturphelle · 18/02/2019 16:00

Bizarre behaviour! When younger my kids never went near the fridge or asked about its contents. Now they are teenagers they'll eat what they want at breakfast and lunch time from the fridge and I can usually monitor what's been used up. I do have to write on things 'keep off' if I need it for a particular ingredient or recipe though...reminds me of being a student again!

Seeline · 18/02/2019 16:01

Even my teens ask if they want something to eat!
No way would some random be rifling through my fridge or cupboards.

CalmdownJanet · 18/02/2019 16:02

Know all annoying kids like that really fucking irritate me I know I know I'm not supposed to say it

Drum2018 · 18/02/2019 16:03

No. I would close fridge/press if I caught dc friends looking. I offer food, they can take it or leave it.

Yesicancancan · 18/02/2019 16:04

No from me.
Visitors don’t have free access to the fridge, especially grubby fingered little ones. Not a chance.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 18/02/2019 16:05

DC here help themselves from the fruit bowl any time of day. Everything else they ask "is it alright?" Invariably I say yes, because they're good eaters and their mates are lovely, but I don't think I'd be chuffed with rudeness like that.

brassbrass · 18/02/2019 16:08

It would be a nope from me especially as this was her first visit. You offered her options so no need to nose around the fridge. I would find that behaviour quite precocious and rude.

Calphurnia · 18/02/2019 16:09

DC have a drawer they can have anything out of in the fridge. It has mini cheeses, cucumber, grapes, cocktail sausages, a couple of yoghurt tubes. They have free access to the fruit bowl.
They always ask though, and unless it's about to be a mealtime, they are directed to the drawer

AnnieOH1 · 18/02/2019 16:11

Mine have a shelf in the fridge plus a deep drawer in the kitchen with free access, plus the fruit/veg baskets if they want (aside from one veg box that I keep the "needed for menu plan" produce. I am only leery if someone with allergies is visiting one of us. My DC have grown up with it and self-regulate (within reason). They know to ask if it's close to a meal time. I would be more aware if some random child was visiting to make sure they didn't gorge themselves or eat too close to dinner etc.

From an adult perspective, my fridge is fair game for one very close friend just because, and I wouldn't have an issue with anyone going in for drinks. Other than that I'd think it was pretty weird for someone to expect to root through it unless they were staying overnight/for a few days etc.

bigbluebus · 18/02/2019 16:11

My own DS didn't have open access to our own fridge at 10 never mind any of his mates who happened to be hanging around!

GregoryPeckingDuck · 18/02/2019 16:11

I think this is an English thing. I would never consider placing any restriction on a visitors food. When I have English people st my house I have to list everything I have. It would be much easier if they just helped themselves.

blackteasplease · 18/02/2019 16:13

No, absolutely not! Even dc don't have free access themselves! Or adult guests come to that. But certainly not dc friends.

dustarr73 · 18/02/2019 16:13

No thats very rude.My ds has friends over they dont go near the fridge or press.If they did i would tell them to stop.

You need to say it to her mother or if shes over the next time,just tell her thats not what you do,

AryaStarkWolf · 18/02/2019 16:13

No way, that's so rude. Clearly she was only saying it in the hope you would say she could rummage through yours

GreenTulips · 18/02/2019 16:13

Really? I have teens and they help themselves biggered if I’m getting up every two minuets
Same for their friends

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UniversalAunt · 18/02/2019 16:14

Restricted diet where a 10yo can reliably & safely manage their own snacks?
Wow!

NewFoneWhoDis · 18/02/2019 16:14

Nope. Neighbour kids would eat me out of house and home if they got free reign to my kitchen cupboards, in fact they did. And after one Monday morning of nothing left for DS's lunchbox thanks to them there's no a rule where everybody has to ask for food - and eat it at the table - including DS as they tried to circumvent the rule by making him go in and take food for them out of the cupboards.

If they ask they'll get a sensible portion. But they want to steal mountains of snacks instead and not eat them all which drives me cracked.

OhDiddums · 18/02/2019 16:14

My house is an open house and family and close friends know they can help themselves. However I realise not everyone's house is like this. At certain people's houses, close friends and family the most I'll help myself to a drink. But that's only if they always tell me to do so. I think it's rude.

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