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To have absolutely no friends

(396 Posts)
twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:07:04

I mean, none. It’s downright embarrassing really.

I am single and have no kids. I’ve actually contemplated having a child (I’ve always wanted a family) but partly because it puts me in social settings.

I just don’t know how to sort this!

PalmTree101 Mon 18-Feb-19 07:09:00

did you have friends in the past who you’ve drifted away from?

Do you have friendly aquantinces that you chat to?

What about at work?

Do you do any social hobbies?

SnuggyBuggy Mon 18-Feb-19 07:09:46

YANBU, friendship is hard. I can see how a nice normal person could end up friendless just through bad luck.

juneybean Mon 18-Feb-19 07:10:43

Do you work? Have hobbies?

twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:11:00

Yes, I’ve had friends but they’ve drifted. Combination of them having children and then others left the country, some just drifted because (e.g.) I left workplaces.

It just feels a bit crap!

My current work is not friendly at all, you really have to watch your back.

Social hobbies - I don’t know where to even start!

Scarydinosaurs Mon 18-Feb-19 07:11:01

School, college, work friends?

Do you like people?

twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:13:46

I don’t really have any friends from school. My schooling was a bit disrupted. I have a couple of friends from college but they have young kids.

Scarydinosaurs Mon 18-Feb-19 07:15:54

I don’t quite understand the problem if they have kids? Do you feel it makes your friendship different because they’ve started families?

Oneweekleft Mon 18-Feb-19 07:15:57

Count yourself lucky!

SnuggyBuggy Mon 18-Feb-19 07:16:01

To be fair OP I have had a lot of luck with mum and baby stuff when it comes to making friends, first streak of luck for me since uni!

I don't know if that's a good enough reason to have a baby in of itself or what the groups are like in your area though.

SnuggyBuggy Mon 18-Feb-19 07:17:02

A lot of people with kids do make pretty crap friends to childless people to be fair.

twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:20:04

Why count myself lucky?

Bigdreams Mon 18-Feb-19 07:24:34

Oneweekleft - what a silly comment.

OP - You could try looking into a local Gateway group.

converseandjeans Mon 18-Feb-19 07:24:52

Aah sounds crap. You could start by joining some groups that you can do alone such as walking, singing and I know loads of younger people are getting back into craft and WI type activities. There will be something out there for you. YANBU to feel sad x

GruciusMalfoy Mon 18-Feb-19 07:25:31

Making and keeping friends as an adult is hard. I'd second the hobby suggestion. Do you read? Sometimes local libraries will have book groups. Thinking locally to me there are walking groups, crafts nights (meet up in a local pub and bring along your crochet/knitting/card making or whatever) running groups, adult martial arts classes, regular gym classes.

Sometimes you need to put yourself out there, and see what sticks.

twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:25:59

Every single group is aimed at mums!

I was looking at the adverts at the front of the church and library and coffee shops and honestly there’s LOADS on - if you have kids!

Jazzybeats Mon 18-Feb-19 07:27:00

The elephant in the room I think is that it’s much harder to make friends as you get older. I look at my 3 year old and am amazed at his ability to walk up to any kid and say “do you want to play”?

I’m learning from him... reaching out to people in my community that I think we might have something in common with. Eg local issues. As PP said, hobbies and shared interests are a good start. If you are a runner Parkrun is good to meet like minded folks. Your local area Facebook group might be good to post and see if we f there are others who share an interest you have. And so on.

AnotherOriginalUsername Mon 18-Feb-19 07:28:10

Volunteer. I've made amazing, lifelong friends through volunteering

SaturdayNext Mon 18-Feb-19 07:28:47

What do you mean when you say you don't know where to start on social hobbies? If there's something you're interested in - whether it's running, playing chess, knitting, exercise classes, arts, learning something etc, you should be able to Google something reasonably local and take it from there.

Bigdreams Mon 18-Feb-19 07:29:12

Gateway is aimed at the opposite. People who aren't mums.

DitzyPrints Mon 18-Feb-19 07:29:19

What about meet up if they do them in your area there’s an app I think?
Book club, running club?

twopizzaseverytuesday Mon 18-Feb-19 07:29:20

See I’ve tried similar to park run and voluntary work and it’s all nice but you just meet people superficially. Hi, how are you, then they go home to their families and you ... don’t.

SaturdayNext Mon 18-Feb-19 07:29:46

You need to look further than local notice boards!

Teateaandmoretea Mon 18-Feb-19 07:30:01

I've got kids but have only one friend who is a 'mum friend'

Walking groups, cycling clubs but I guess it depends what you are interested in. Your work sounds awful, is finding and settling in a job with nicer people an option? What about volunteering?

Mumof1andacat Mon 18-Feb-19 07:30:03

I've never been more lonely since having a child. I can do the apposite of what u are hoping for.

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