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(128 Posts)
LellowYedbetter Sat 16-Feb-19 23:27:14

DS got a cake for his 18th. He’s not been home to see it cut (he does live here). He’s coming back tomorrow. DSS2 is here this weekend and wants some. I have said to DS to come home tomorrow morning so that DSS can get some cake before he goes home. I then said to DH that DSS2 can take some home for DSS1 (and his mum if he wants to) as it will get wasted otherwise. DH immediately said “no it’s ok”. I said “it will only go to waste that’s all ...” to which DH said “I don’t understand why you create so much drama around cake? It’s like as soon as a cake appears, you go into military mode ... it’s all stress and precision ... it’s weird ... “

So am I being a weird cunt or what? I don’t get what I did wrong?

bridgetreilly Sun 17-Feb-19 23:28:08

How lovely that she wanted her DSS to have something that would have made him happy.

And yet, didn't give him any of it?

spudlet7 Sun 17-Feb-19 23:19:49

Well OP cares and quite rightly too. How lovely that she wanted her DSS to have something that would have made him happy.

hastingsmua1 Sun 17-Feb-19 21:31:46

Sorry but I agree with your husband judging by your posts. It’s just cake, no big deal, cake does not warrant all of the mental arithmetics.

Who cares if the step son can’t eat a slice yet or take any home - it’s not their cake so wouldn’t have been fair to cut it early. You don’t have to feel guilty for not giving them cake lol, I’m sure there are other treats you could have shared with them. It’s a non issue.

It doesn’t matter if there’s 12 servings and 3 of you - the cake will still get eaten. It’s not out of the ordinary for someone to have two slices or a snack. If this bugs you, buy a smaller cake in future? Again, no big deal.

And on the other hand, your son is at an age where he wants to be with his mates/girlfriend rather than his family, and that’s okay. My memories of 18th celebrations definitely involved my friends, boyfriend and celebrating outside of the house. I’m not surprised that a bloody cake isn’t the main thing on his mind.

To be honest, if you want to eat the cake then go for it as it’s not a big deal where you have to put this much thought into it. It’s just food.

LellowYedbetter Sun 17-Feb-19 20:50:33

I get the feeling from Tucobenedicto‘s posts that they’re a child so we should go easy on them just in case

NunoGoncalves Sun 17-Feb-19 18:01:19

You can't cut someone's cake to give it away before they've seen it/been given it

You can (and should!) if they disappear for 3 days.

YourSarcasmIsDripping Sun 17-Feb-19 17:15:27

Aww that's actually quite sad. Sounds like DSS would've definitely appreciated the cake more than your son.

Eliza9917 Sun 17-Feb-19 17:04:38

You can't cut someone's cake to give it away before they've seen it/been given it.

ohcarriemathison Sun 17-Feb-19 16:14:32

In our home and every other family persons home I've been to; as soon as he candles are blown out the cut is cut up and eaten.
If there is cake spare then it's wrapped up and given to grandparents / Ofer family to take home and enjoy with a nice cup of tea later. Cake is never wasted.
I think you should have cut up half for your step son to take home and the other half for you, your partner and the birthday boy of aa when he decided he wanted some.

Insomnibrat Sun 17-Feb-19 14:58:41

What a weird response @Tucobenedicto

explodingkitten Sun 17-Feb-19 14:46:05

I've never ever seen my birthday cake as "mine". I always thought it was a treat for everyone present on the day in honor of my birthday. Do you really see a whole birthday cake as one persons ownership?

yearinyearout Sun 17-Feb-19 14:42:31

And now I really want some bloody cake so I might have to go and bake one.

yearinyearout Sun 17-Feb-19 14:39:48

I'm with you OP. Cake should not be wasted and if your own DS isn't bothered about the cake I wouldn't have any qualms about cutting some for your DSS to take home.

Tucobenedicto Sun 17-Feb-19 14:34:27

Made up story..looking for attention cause you obviously don't get much

LellowYedbetter Sun 17-Feb-19 14:18:00

DSS went home without any unfortunately. DS popped in about half hour ago, saw that DSS has already gone home so has gone back out again. Anyone want any cake?

spudlet7 Sun 17-Feb-19 14:16:44

Did DSS2 get any cake?

Eliza9917 Sun 17-Feb-19 14:14:44

Everyone saying it's his cake to decide who gets some, would you let your child blow out their candles and then announce that no one else can have some? The would you really let them do that?

Walkingdeadfangirl Sun 17-Feb-19 14:09:36

Crikey, someone is really obsessing about a cake. Its a cake FFS.

a) an 18 yo drinking, drug taking, tattooed man on a 3 day bender doesn't give 2 hoots about a cake.
b) you gave him the cake, its his cake, put it in a tin and leave it in his room out of your sight, he will probably get the munchies at some stage.

Consider going to cakeoholics anonymous to talk about any 'issues'.

NunoGoncalves Sun 17-Feb-19 13:39:11

An 18-year-old goes off for three days drinking, taking drugs and getting tattooed, without telling his mum where he's going or for how long...

Does this sound like the kind of person who is going to come home and cry that you already cut and ate half of the birthday cake?

Trippedupagain Sun 17-Feb-19 13:35:12

In our families' cake rule book, fear of cake-wasting takes priority over who owns said cake. If birthday boy comes home and cake has been cut, the cake-wasting rule will be invoked and he can shut the fuck up if he has a problem with it. No cake has ever had to go in the bin in our house. Ever.

StreetwiseHercules Sun 17-Feb-19 13:32:26

18 year old men don’t give two shits about birthday cakes. And rightfully so.

tenredthings Sun 17-Feb-19 13:30:06

I'd cut the cake in half and give DSs half to take home to share. Take a video of the cutting if it's important and show it to Ds when he turns up. Shame to waste a cake and it seems like the effort you went to has already been a bit wasted on your DS if he's not been around over his birthday. I know my DS would be more interested in eating it than caring about how it looks whole !

SandAndSea Sun 17-Feb-19 13:26:47

This is a cake dilemma alright. On the one hand, we have a special birthday and on the other, we have a delicious cake which is calling me and needs eating. Hmm... I think I would have taken a photo and sent it to DS and asked him what he'd like to do. If he wasn't coming home soon, I think I would have frozen it. I would have considered cutting it first, horizontally from the bottom up.

RosemarysBush Sun 17-Feb-19 13:24:43

I ... don’t think that I can take it

GottenGottenGotten Sun 17-Feb-19 13:20:55

Leave it out in the rain

But it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again sad

NunoGoncalves Sun 17-Feb-19 13:08:24

Throw it out the window.

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