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(128 Posts)
LellowYedbetter Sat 16-Feb-19 23:27:14

DS got a cake for his 18th. He’s not been home to see it cut (he does live here). He’s coming back tomorrow. DSS2 is here this weekend and wants some. I have said to DS to come home tomorrow morning so that DSS can get some cake before he goes home. I then said to DH that DSS2 can take some home for DSS1 (and his mum if he wants to) as it will get wasted otherwise. DH immediately said “no it’s ok”. I said “it will only go to waste that’s all ...” to which DH said “I don’t understand why you create so much drama around cake? It’s like as soon as a cake appears, you go into military mode ... it’s all stress and precision ... it’s weird ... “

So am I being a weird cunt or what? I don’t get what I did wrong?

YourSarcasmIsDripping Sat 16-Feb-19 23:51:39

You're not weird , if at all possible try and make sure everyone gets some , and give some away rather than throwing it in the bin.
When it was DD's bday we gave some to her friends, I took dome into work, she took some into school, gave some to the neighbours abd still had loads left.
But don't stress too much about it either,it's just cake.

SleepingStandingUp Sat 16-Feb-19 23:58:34

Well I'd be pretty pissed off if he'd just gone AWOL over his entire birthday and I'd spent God knows how much on cake for it to sit there and go stale whilst he gives no indication of if he'll ever return home! I'd def have eaten it

ThreeAnkleBiters Sat 16-Feb-19 23:59:02

Depends - if someone randomly just picked up a cake for DS who at 18 may well really not care one way or another about it then why not give a few slices to DSS's if they want some? If DS is looking forward to cutting up his lovely cake he got for his 18th birthday and will be upset to find it already hacked up then obviously DSS's will have to do without cake until it's one of their birthdays.

MyKingdomForBrie Sun 17-Feb-19 00:03:04

You're fine, DH is being weird!

Aridane Sun 17-Feb-19 00:03:30

Your DP has it spot on!

PodgeBod Sun 17-Feb-19 00:05:22

I agree with you, I would shoot a text to DS "X really wants to take some cake home, so I'll cut off some for him, Y and Z" but he clearly isn't bothered about the cake so I don't see the problem. I expect he had been having too much fun over his birthday to give it a second thought.

Oswin Sun 17-Feb-19 00:09:50

I think people have misread. Op isn't cutting the cake. She's waiting for her ds to come home.
It's perfectly normal to suggest dss take some home. Your dh is being well fucking weird.

Oswin Sun 17-Feb-19 00:11:23

Adriane can I ask why you agree with the dh? She has suggested the dss takes some cake back to other dss. What is wrong with that?

LagunaBubbles Sun 17-Feb-19 00:11:30

Where is your DS?

YourSarcasmIsDripping Sun 17-Feb-19 00:12:13

What 18 yo seriously cares that much about cake?

CustardySergeant Sun 17-Feb-19 00:15:52

I'm with your DH 100%. The cake is for your DS's 18th birthday. That's it. Anyone else desperate for cake can have some other cake, so bake it or buy it, but just leave your DS's cake alone.

WarpedGalaxy Sun 17-Feb-19 00:16:52

This is the third thread I’ve read today about some angsty situation surrounding cake. I mean it’s cake. Cake is nice, why all this ill-feeling over cake? Who knew cake could be the catalyst for so much trouble in the lives of so many mners?

Anyway I think I might go and find some cake now, hope you sort it out, OP.

YourSarcasmIsDripping Sun 17-Feb-19 00:20:18

@CustardySergeant it's already been left alone for 3 days. Anymore and it's straight in the bin anyways.

Fabaunt Sun 17-Feb-19 00:20:21

You’re not being weird, I think you sound lovely, you sound like a really nice step mum.

MiniMum97 Sun 17-Feb-19 00:20:38

I thought you were being weird. Then it's become clear that DS has seen the cake, had it for his birthday, not had any and then has buggered off while it's just set on the side. It will go off soon. I'd just distribute and leave some for DS.

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 17-Feb-19 00:21:05

The box always lies about portion sizes. Teenage boys eat loads so I’m sure it won’t go to waste. If you have any left over I have a fork ready and I could currently eat a medium sized horse.

SneakyGremlins Sun 17-Feb-19 00:22:15

Surely it won't go stale if it hasn't been taken out of the box or cut into?

Oswin Sun 17-Feb-19 00:27:55

It's absolutely normal to suggest sending cake back to a sibling who isn't there. This threads so confusing.
The ds will come home cut his cake eat a slice then probably not give it another thought. Then the op will say I'm gonna send a few slices with dss. And the ds will say yeah great. I'm so confused. How can people think op is wrong. confused

sleepylittlebunnies Sun 17-Feb-19 00:41:37

Doesn’t sound like too much of a problem. I’d just text him and ask would he like to come home early to cut it or shall you just cut it and give some to his DSB’s. If he’s seen it and left it at home I doubt he’s bothered either way.

I have frozen birthday cakes if we have loads left and none of us have come to any harm eating it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 17-Feb-19 00:43:07

Why does the cake go off after a couple of days? Unless it's got a real cream filling, of course.

We manage to keep cakes going for a week at least, depending on size, but keep them in the fridge (covered of course), which stops them from going mouldy. Doesn't go stale because the cakes are kept in sealed containers, like tupperware.

I can see your point - why let the thing go to waste? - and your DS obvs isn't that bothered about his cake since he hasn't been home for 3 days.

I hope he manages to get home in time for your DSS2 to both have some cake and take some for DSS1 - but if he doesn't, then just give DSS2 some cake for them both anyway, and tell DS that it's the consequence of him not coming home in a reasonable timeframe.

Chainormous Sun 17-Feb-19 01:09:37

If DS has seen the cake, I don't see why he needs to be there for the ceremonial cutting. Either text him and ask if he minds whoever having a slice, or leave it until he comes back.

Most cakes keep for a week or so, so I'm not sure there's any urgency to get rid of some of it, but if there is I think it's daft to require DS to be physically present in order to divide it up.

Di11y Sun 17-Feb-19 07:19:18

if he's seen the cake I'd text and ask him if he minds.

Hairyporker Sun 17-Feb-19 07:25:42

I doubt a newly 18 year old gives a shite about a cake.

LilaJude Sun 17-Feb-19 07:25:53

I don’t think you’re being weird. I think the people bellowing that it’s not your cake and you Have No Right To Touch It are being weird.

Most people clearly haven’t understood your post, which makes clear that you have told your so to come home before DSS leaves so he can see the cake before it’s cut.

I also think most 18yos would be mature enough to understand why the cake was cut before their return if that’s what ends up happening.

As far as I can see you’re taking a pragmatic approach to what really isn’t a serious issue, and your DH (and others on this thread) are blowing it out of proportion.

Chocomousse Sun 17-Feb-19 07:37:51

I would take photos of the cake and ask ds if it was ok to share it out or would he rather I waited until he got there. If he wanted me to wait I'd probably freeze about half of it later, after I'd cut it into portions. Almost all cake freezes well.

I'd do this because I love to make my life complicated hate rows and not because I'm a cake warrior. grin

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