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To not leave DD with batshit DM alone

(217 Posts)
theymaynotmeantobuttheydo Sat 16-Feb-19 20:12:24

DM has no concept of danger and thinks nothing bad will ever happen to her. I often question how I survived my childhood with no physical injuries. Not a single broken bone or hospital visit...

There are (unconfirmed) rumours that she once gave my cousins 9 month old a sip of coke.

She lives localish to us and would have the kids DD6 and DD3 at the drop of the hat but I just don't trust her.. DH thinks I'm crazy as we could be off having a whale of the time but...

We use nursery for childcare.

I left DD3 for about 3 hours one morning as I had an adhoc work meeting and she put her in DS's forward facing booster seat for a non urgent car journey a mile away to collect something that could have waited. She "thought she was old enough to face forward now as she's big enough"

DD3 had a very minor scratch and I asked her to get some savlon and before i knew it she was applying some dodgy antibiotic cream to "take the redness away" blush
Oh when One DD was born she shoved some honey in her mouth at a few days old (some batshit cultural custom) before I could stop her. She has no boundaries. She can't be stopped or reasoned with. I had to insist she covered up her 6ft deep pond after she persisted with the fact I had never drowned in it as being a good enough reason to leave it.

My children need protecting from her. AIBU? I suspect not but DH thinks I am OTT!

PersonaNonGarter Sat 16-Feb-19 20:15:19

She doesn’t sound completely batshit. Just like a normal GM who might firm instructions.

Smoggle Sat 16-Feb-19 20:16:26

I don't know, do you have any other examples?

The pond is the only thing that sounds really dangerous to me.
3 is borderline for a high back booster, I probably wouldn't stress about it.
Honey sounds like ignorance.

FlaviaAlbia Sat 16-Feb-19 20:16:47

Is this a reverse?

theymaynotmeantobuttheydo Sat 16-Feb-19 20:18:36

Just to add we have told her off about car seats before and she loves to complain about how squashed the 3 year old looks rear facing and how cruel it is. She knew full when I'd be pissed off and she did it anyway.

She is lawless.

Cheeeeislifenow Sat 16-Feb-19 20:21:16

You are over reacting.

theymaynotmeantobuttheydo Sat 16-Feb-19 20:21:25

Ooh I just remembered the other week when she offered DD3 a choice out of A BOX OF BUTTON BATTERIES

Smoggle Sat 16-Feb-19 20:22:15

3 & 6 year olds are pretty robust, I'm sure they'd be fine with her.

VioletCharlotte Sat 16-Feb-19 20:22:44

Apart from the pond, non of this sounds bad. Every three year old I know sits in a front facing car seat. A sip of coke isn't really the end of the world! I think you should lighten up a bit.

StreetwiseHercules Sat 16-Feb-19 20:23:12

A 3 year old rear facing? That’s ridiculous. Does that not stop at about a year?

Smoggle Sat 16-Feb-19 20:23:13

Can you explain about the batteries?

EstrellaDamn Sat 16-Feb-19 20:23:34

Lawless for using a FF car seat grin

Onlyjoinedforthisthread Sat 16-Feb-19 20:24:08

I think you're batshit not your mother

AmIRightOrAMeringue Sat 16-Feb-19 20:24:11

Rear facing is safer. That doesn't mean forward facing is unsafe. The law hasn't changed yet. My parents have a forward facing seat snd I'm OK with this, they only use it on local journeys in the city - no motorway etc.

The honey is bad but did she know? I didn't know before I had a baby.

The pond is dangerous but I guess it depends on how often they visit and if she can give one on one attention and takes them in to answer the door and when she goes to the loo etc.

From what you've said, it sounds like she may be a bit lax and you may be a bit over protective compared to average (and there is nothing wrong with being like that with a baby btw, accidents do happen) and it's quite a gulf in your parenting styles

Cheeeeislifenow Sat 16-Feb-19 20:25:24

She offered your child button batteries? Really?

theymaynotmeantobuttheydo Sat 16-Feb-19 20:25:33

She was getting some batteries for a toy and has hundreds in a box and asked DD to try and find the correct ones for the toy!

I am probably anxiety ridden and OTT as I spent my childhood worrying for the both of us grin

Merename Sat 16-Feb-19 20:25:38

Yep none of these sound that bad. Even the pond if she is determined to supervise. You sound a bit hysterical but maybe there is more to this than you are saying?

Onlyjoinedforthisthread Sat 16-Feb-19 20:25:57

I can imagine a constant drip of events getting more dangerous each time until we eventually agree with you

Applesandpears23 Sat 16-Feb-19 20:26:36

YANBU - If you don’t trust her you don’t need to leave your children with her. They are your kids.

Smoggle Sat 16-Feb-19 20:27:05

So long as she was supervising your dd with the batteries then I think that's OK.

It does sound like you have very different parenting styles.

Cheeeeislifenow Sat 16-Feb-19 20:27:26

You made it sound like to eat?
Still think you are still over reacting

Insomnibrat Sat 16-Feb-19 20:29:01

Honestly you sound completely neurotic.

MyKingdomForBrie Sat 16-Feb-19 20:29:14

She asked her to find the right batteries.. I'm pretty certain a 3 year old wouldn't interpret that as 'find button batteries and swallow them'.. all I would do is say 'oh watch her when she has those they can be a choking hazard' not decide she was insane and dangerous!!

I don't think it's a miracle you survived, I think she's a much better parent than you give her credit for.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sat 16-Feb-19 20:29:16

Sounds a bit dramatic on your part OP from what you’ve said here.

terriblyangryattimes Sat 16-Feb-19 20:29:54

Honestly you sound like you're over reacting but at the end of the day they're your kids and if you don't want to leave then with her fair enough... in your shoes I'd be happy to have a break with some free childcare!

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