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To not want her there?!

(58 Posts)
RZNW Sat 16-Feb-19 18:00:06

DP and I have set the wedding date and all is running smoothly...so far.

Only hiccup is the guest list. He wants to invite one specific person I truly don't want there because she brings a dark cloud.

She's a colleague of ours (we work at the same place) and she is absolutely no threat to our relationship - she's happily in a relationship with a woman. But she's just downright fucking rude to me.

No matter how many times I try and engage in conversation or say hi to her, she blanks me. To DP though she's "hilarious and so friendly" 🙄

The girl even claimed at one point we'd never met. Whereas in reality she spent 2 hours in a meeting with me and only one other person so it's not like I got lost in a crowd.

Anyway, I've made peace with the fact you can't please them all and she simply doesn't like me for whatever reason. I don't particularly want her at my wedding though.

Thoughts please? I'm a bridezilla and should just chill the fuck out?

Italiangreyhound Sun 17-Feb-19 00:04:48

Is there an expectation you will invite staff etc?

It's bad news that your dh appears to be valuing her option over your opinion, in a way.

Italiangreyhound Sun 17-Feb-19 00:06:04

opinion not option!

AnyOldPrion Sun 17-Feb-19 00:12:19

It's bad news that your dh appears to be valuing her option over your opinion, in a way.

If I’ve understood correctly, he’s valuing HIS opinion over the OPs. Which shows a distinct lack of respect for her judgement.

If my DH told me someone I liked had been a bit of an ass to him, I’d never have insisted on inviting them. It suggests he is putting his colleague’s feelings over those of his wife. Not a good look.

fargo123 Sun 17-Feb-19 06:18:41

I'd be more concerned over why he thinks her feelings are more important than yours.

I'd even go so far as saying ''it's her or me'', just to show how serious I am over this. If he hesitated for even one second, I'd be calling a halt to the wedding for now.

RZNW Sun 17-Feb-19 06:30:05

@Skittlesandbeer thank you, I think that's really sensible advice.

To further update my update;
I very casually brought this up as we were getting in bed last night. We're both overtired and sleep deprived so probably not my wisest move.
His argument was that she's a good friend to him and each time I've told him how rude she's been to me, he's actually questioned her directly about it. Of course she plays ignorant but he's trying to reassure me that he doesn't condone her cattiness towards me.

@Windgate She isn't the only colleague not invited (our rotations are huge numbers) and definitely isn't the only LGBTQ person on/off the guest list so I don't feel worried about being accused of bullying or homophobia, but I totally appreciate your point.

There was a turning point in last nights drama where the penny seemed to drop and he suddenly understood the gravity of asking me to invite this resting bitch face to such a monumental day. I pray that's the end of it now because truthfully I'm bored of her already x

TildaTurnip Sun 17-Feb-19 06:30:27

I would not invite someone who had been deliberately rude to me or my husband. They also wouldn’t be someone I socialised with (at work or not) or someone that I considered a friend if they did that.

JenniferJareau Sun 17-Feb-19 06:37:39

Heck no. If my soon to be DH insisted on inviting her there wouldn't be a wedding. I've been bullied enough in my lifetime, don't want that at my wedding to.

Springwalk Sun 17-Feb-19 07:09:54

No chance! This is the easiet guest list dilemma ever! It is an easy no
way from me.

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