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To think this is a really fucking weird thing to do?

(219 Posts)
SummersB Fri 15-Feb-19 06:00:51

Brought a cake into work the other day - Banana & Blueberry, it was bloody lovely!
One of my colleagues asked me where I had the recipe from and I told her the author. I’ve previously made this before and have shared the recipe with a few of my colleagues, but in the interest of full disclosure I had no intention of sharing it with this particular one because to be honest I can’t stand her (she is a higher banding - band 6 nursing staff - and due to a massive chip in her shoulder she makes junior staff’s working life a misery by being patronising and belittling at every opportunity and is therefore really unpleasant to work with).
Another colleague just told me that a few days after I had brought my cake in she came into work with exactly the same cake, obviously having google searched the recipe and attempted to recreate it. We had a bit of a laugh about it because apparently it was shit as she’d burnt it and managed to make it really dry. But am I right in thinking that’s a really odd thing to do? Who tastes a cake their workmate baked, goes home, looks the recipe up online and comes in two days later saying “ta-da, look, you know the cake you made the other day - well I could have made any other cake in the world but I’ve decided to look it up and make exactly the same one and bring in to work too”? Or is it just me?

panticus Fri 15-Feb-19 06:03:20

To be honest I don't find that particularly weird but perhaps we don't have the full context. It sounds like she just really liked that cake!

JasperKarat Fri 15-Feb-19 06:06:07

I think you're over invested, and to not share a recipe because you don't like her is really petty. She liked your cake she gave the recipe a go herself, it didn't pan out as well, possibly at it was the first time she'd made it. If she was trying to one up you she wouldn't have brought it into work. You and your colleague chum sound bitchy.

ChessieFL Fri 15-Feb-19 06:06:16

It’s a bit weird to bring it into work just after you brought yours, yes. Not weird to look up the recipe and have a go at making it herself though.

Singlenotsingle Fri 15-Feb-19 06:06:42

Maybe she's just got a cake making inferiority complex?

JenniferJareau Fri 15-Feb-19 06:07:01

That is odd, it's not just you.

ShortandSweet96 Fri 15-Feb-19 06:07:53

You sound a bit jealous, either that or this woman reallt winds you up grin

Its a cake.. you told her the author of the recipe.. she made one herself. Did you think you owned the rights to that particular cake now? hmm

I doubt anyone will say "confront her about making the same cake recipe as you, how unreasonable!"

It sounds lovely.. I would ask for the recipe but at this point I think it might be guarded by three trolls and a curse.

LilaJude Fri 15-Feb-19 06:09:00

I don’t think it’s that weird since everyone liked it the first time. I think it probably just seems weird to you because its coloured by your perception of her.

Cobblersandhogwash Fri 15-Feb-19 06:09:27

Nope. It's weird to bring in same cake.

Does she normally bring in cakes?

SummersB Fri 15-Feb-19 06:12:40

I am not precious about my recipes at all and have sat and printed loads of my cake recipes for my colleagues in the past.
To be fair though, I do have an issue with this particular colleague and I know the reason she wanted the recipe is because she can’t stand anybody getting praised for anything and will do her best to prove that she is better if they do. She really is very hard work. So yeah, it probably is just me grin
FWIW - It’s a recipe by James Morton, it’s absolutely lovely and I highly recommend it.

SummersB Fri 15-Feb-19 06:13:36

No she never normally brings in homemade cakes.

burrobirra Fri 15-Feb-19 06:14:42

I would ask for the recipe but at this point I think it might be guarded by three trolls and a curse.

😂😂😂

LilaJude Fri 15-Feb-19 06:14:49

She does sound like a pain in the arse tbf

RainbowWaffles Fri 15-Feb-19 06:15:25

It’s nice that you made a cake and took it into work for your colleagues. Everything else in your post makes you sound rather unpleasant and somewhat immature. She obviously liked the cake as she asked you for the recipe so no great surprise that she was going to make it too. How long should she have waited before attempting the recipe? Maybe she didn’t want to eat all the cake herself so just brought it into work. Maybe she should have just thrown it away? You took cake into work so you obviously don’t think taking it in is an odd thing to do.

I might have found it weird if she did it without saying anything to me and asking me for the recipe or acknowledging in any way she was making exactly the same cake. How you describe it sounds pretty normal though.

PodgeBod Fri 15-Feb-19 06:17:06

I don't think it's that weird- In fact I think it's a bit of a compliment. I would be pleased it had not turned out as well, though grin

ContessaIsOnADietDammit Fri 15-Feb-19 06:19:30

I would find it a bit weird given the short timeframe, yes. If it had been a month later, not so much!

MaybeitsMaybelline Fri 15-Feb-19 06:24:12

It’s weird she brought it in when she made such a bad job of it!

Ragnarthe Fri 15-Feb-19 06:26:06

Not weird

OutComeTheWolves Fri 15-Feb-19 06:30:40

I think it's weird, but I used to work with someone who tried to initiate a weekly baking competition with a colleague who made lovely cakes, trying to make the rest of us to vote each week. It was awkward as fuck for those of us who just wanted to eat cake in peace so I'm no strange to cake based acts of passive aggression in the workplace.

Fairylea Fri 15-Feb-19 06:37:22

I don’t find it weird. It sounds like you really, really hate her though!

SovietKitsch Fri 15-Feb-19 06:39:40

I’m not usually precious about my recipes

In what way are they your recipes? You didn’t write them. How on earth could you be precious about something which is freely available to anyone? We’re not taking about your grandma’s secret cookie recipe here...confused

This whole thing is bloody weird...

CasperGutman Fri 15-Feb-19 06:42:48

She liked the cake and wanted to try making it herself. Maybe she doesn't have a lot to occupy her time, and maybe she doesn't have anyone at home to share cake with. Throwing away a whole cake, even a suboptimal one, would be a massive waste.

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 15-Feb-19 06:44:12

It sounds like she’s one of those that has to try and beat everyone. You do something ut she has to do it better, it’s really common. I’m usually the baker in my work, bringing in cupcakes etc for certain events, we also have a trainee baker who used to pop in cakes every now and then, one thing she won’t do is cupcakes as she said mine are so much better than hers and I said her other cakes are better. So she brings all other cakes and I do the cupcakes. At work she has the mentality to try to be better and it drives me nuts but we always agree about the cakes. I told her she could take over doing the cupcakes and she said no.... I’ve got to make them 😂😂

BalloonSlayer Fri 15-Feb-19 06:44:38

Well maybe people were saying "Cor lovely! I wish there was some more of that" and she thought it would be nice if she made the next one.

I would be pretty upset if I had brought a cake into work and people were sniggering that it was dry etc.

I know you've said she's not a nice person but you don't come over so great yourself.

gamerwidow Fri 15-Feb-19 06:47:04

I think this whole issue is coloured by the fact you don’t like her. That’s fair enough we don’t have to like everyone but if you happily share the recipe with other co workers you should have been the better person and shared it with her. Anything else makes you look like the bad guy and could be construed as bullying.
It’s hard I have someone I work with that I think is a massive twat but I’m always making the extra effort to make sure I don’t let it show and that everything I do is fair rather than treating them less favourably than others because I don’t like them.

hiddeneverything Fri 15-Feb-19 06:50:19

Yes it's weird of her, especially in the circumstances you describe x

Belenus Fri 15-Feb-19 06:51:18

Depends on the context. It's one of those things that could be part of a pattern of competitiveness, or could be a colleague baking a cake and bringing it into work.

I've worked in offices in which everyone brings cake or other food in with some frequency so it would just have been another cake. And if it was that bad and obviously burned, I doubt she's being competitive. I ask people for recipes or just guess and recreate them quite often. It's good to get different ideas for things.

Jenasaurus Fri 15-Feb-19 06:52:35

if its this cake then I understand why she wanted to make it, its lovely. be nice to her though she wants to be part of the team, she brought it in to share with you and you bitched about it, that's mean,

www.mumsnet.com/food/recipe/2358-Blueberry-and-banana-cake

londonrach Fri 15-Feb-19 06:55:46

Op. its not strange at all. Tbh its more strange you didnt share the receipe.

You might want to see if mn deletes this as you sound very nasty in what you have written. If her cake was dry sounds like she might need abit of advice as your cake was so nice.

Interceptor999 Fri 15-Feb-19 06:59:10

It is just you, get a grip. biscuit

pinkunicorn20 Fri 15-Feb-19 06:59:38

Maybe she just liked the cake and wanted to have it again?
I guess you have a better idea of this person's motives as you know her but I wouldn't waste energy on thinking about it too much. Just secretly enjoy that yours was tastier smile

Mari50 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:01:37

We had a bit of a laugh about it because apparently it was shit
You sound just lovely too.
Nice work environment all round I imagine.

junebirthdaygirl Fri 15-Feb-19 07:03:07

I find your attitude very mean and nasty. I would rather miss out on cake than work in a place where someone had such a nasty way of talking. Be the bigger person every time as its a far more attractive trait.

Bluntness100 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:04:55

You're being incredibly petty. It's a cake. Get a grip.

Holidayshopping Fri 15-Feb-19 07:05:40

I don’t actually think that’s weird-she clearly likes the recipe as she asked you for it. Bringing in cakes is clearly normal as you do it.

*Who tastes a cake their workmate baked, goes home, looks the recipe up online and comes in two days later saying “ta-da, look, you know the cake you made the other day - well I could have made any other cake in the world but I’ve decided to look it up and make exactly the same one and bring in to work too”?

Someone who really liked that cake? I’d take it as a compliment.

SavoyCabbage Fri 15-Feb-19 07:05:57

I don’t think it’s weird. You knew she wanted to have a go at it and she did. Then she brought it into work which must be fine as you’ve done it.

Of course she ‘went home and Googled it’. You wouldn’t give her the recipe and it’s 2019. That’s what people do. Google things they want to know. What did you want her to do? Peep though Nigella’s window until she caught her making it?

ivykaty44 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:08:57

You don’t like the woman so you’re going to make a point of not liking what she does...we all do this to a certain extent.

Drop it and move on, probably best to change your recipe for next time

sackrifice Fri 15-Feb-19 07:09:43

It is obvious she was trying to get one up on you.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions Fri 15-Feb-19 07:10:35

Ueah yeah so weird ..... sarcasm

I mean how weird some one asked for a receipe, then cook it themselves. I would have thought that that was the whole bloody reason she asked you for the receipe. Or did you think she just wanted to stare at it written on a piece of paper.

Also your receipe, its not, its james morton's. Its avalible to any one not just you. Do you have excl6suve distrubution

We had a bit of a laugh about it because apparently it was shit

Well aren't you and your colluage just lovely. Not.

Sorry the weirdest thing about this post is your attitude and behaviour that is fucking weird yes

Cazziebo Fri 15-Feb-19 07:12:24

Do you eat that many cakes at your work?!

Only weird thing here is your reaction and attitude. Would it hurt to be a bit nicer?

WFTisgoingoninmyhead Fri 15-Feb-19 07:13:50

I think you just don’t like her, no matter what she does!!

dashitauntagatha Fri 15-Feb-19 07:15:26

I don't understand the 'shared my recipe' bit.

But it's not your recipe? It's from a book! Not sure how you can be self congratulatory about not being precious about a recipe that isn't yours!!

Strange old world

CuppaSarah Fri 15-Feb-19 07:15:45

Did she say anything about it? Like that she was looking to improve and wanting con crit from people who had tried yours? Or mentioned she loves yours so much she'd already attempted her own?

If she just brought it in without saying anything it would be kind of odd.

lotusbell Fri 15-Feb-19 07:16:46

So, so petty. I'm.glad I don't work in places like that anymore, what a huge waste of energy!

grumiosmum Fri 15-Feb-19 07:20:40

This reminds me of an episode of This Country.

Not2BBs Fri 15-Feb-19 07:21:08

You and your friend just come across as horribly bitchy.

greendale17 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:22:16

*I can’t stand her (she is a higher banding - band 6 nursing staff - and due to a massive chip in her shoulder she makes junior staff’s working life a misery by being patronising and belittling at every opportunity and is therefore really unpleasant to work with).*

^This colleague sounds nasty

Pippa12 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:22:53

She enjoyed your cake (as did your colleagues!?) she made it and brought it in for you to all enjoy again...

You declined to give her the recipe (yet you give it freely to those you like)... laughed about her baking attempts with your colleagues, then came on mumsnet complaining about her actions and calling her not fit to burn as a person... yet she’s a nasty piece of work and a bully hmm

You need to “kill these people with kindness” not copy their behaviour. Your students must love working with your friendly team!!!

Rhinosaurus Fri 15-Feb-19 07:23:04

Sounds like someone is jealous of her being a higher grade.....

pictish Fri 15-Feb-19 07:23:25

Either way, this is not something that you should be concerning yourself with. If she wants to replicate a cake and bring it in, it’s no skin off your nose.

pictish Fri 15-Feb-19 07:24:56

“We had a bit of a laugh about it because apparently it was shit as she’d burnt it and managed to make it really dry.“

hmm

What a lot of clucking over baked goods.

Spam88 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:28:06

You clearly get too much cake in work if you're questioning people bringing cake. Be grateful for all cake, that's my approach (also why I'm getting fat).

I'd just assume she wanted to have a go at making the cake but couldn't eat it all herself...?

AnyFucker Fri 15-Feb-19 07:30:17

Haven't either of you got any actual work to do ?

SoupDragon Fri 15-Feb-19 07:30:42

I think it is even weirder to be prissy about sharing a recipe that is not yours anyway, sniggering about someone who makes it and then posting about it on MN.

Burnshersmurfs Fri 15-Feb-19 07:31:01

My ex MIL used to do this sort of thing all time. If I invited them round for dinner, you could bet your bottom dollar that the next time we ate at theirs, the same dish would be on the menu. In this case, it was definitely a weird competitive thing, not a compliment.

Bluntness100 Fri 15-Feb-19 07:33:42

I agree soup dragon, it's way weirder to not want to share a recipe, then slag someone's cake of as not as good as yours then post about it on mumsnet,

The op is clearly so hung up on her hatred for this woman, she can't recognise her own behaviour, it's totally cringe.

YouokHun Fri 15-Feb-19 07:35:03

The first thing I thought was that she sounds insecure - is she trying to beat you or join you? It sounds to me that in her own way she’s trying to integrate. If you want others to behave differently then first change your own behaviour OP. It sounds like a rather bullying atmosphere and your contribution keeps it going.

Ali1cedowntherabbithole Fri 15-Feb-19 07:37:10

TBH your OP isn’t a shining example of behavior for someone with an NMC registration.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 15-Feb-19 07:39:17

Yep, the weird bit was not sharing the recipe because you don't like her. And referring to them as your recipes.

3in4years Fri 15-Feb-19 07:42:12

No not weird. But weird to start a thread on it with such an aggressive title.

BlueCornishPixie Fri 15-Feb-19 07:46:11

I don't understand why you wouldn't share the recipe? Its not your recipe, it's not a guarded secret. Even if it was your recipe tbh unless you were writing a cookbook I don't see why you wouldn't share it. It's weird and petty.

Making the cake is not weird at all, me and my colleagues do that sort of thing all the time "oh I made your stew recipe last night, it was great thanks" that sort of thing.

It's slightly odd to bring it into work, but not odd enough that it warrants posting on mn, and if I was another colleague I doubt I would have better an eyelid. I would have however at the bitching and sniggering about it behind her back. Presumably your over 16? I think you need to grow ip

Consolidatedyourloins Fri 15-Feb-19 07:51:39

OP's colleague is clearly supercilious and almost bullying to junior colleagues.

As someone who has had to put up with a bully at work for years, I despair at the people defending the bully on this thread just to give the OP a good kicking.

There are so many passive women on MN who call themselves 'non-confrontational' and no wonder, when one woman does dare to treat a bully differently, she's accused of being bitchy.

OP, I can understand why you didn't share the recipe with her and I would have found her burning the cake funny too.

RoboticSealpup Fri 15-Feb-19 07:56:00

I think you're a bit weird for not giving her the recipe, tbh.

Jeezoh Fri 15-Feb-19 07:59:12

You sound unpleasant to be honest, I don’t think your OP makes you superior than her in terms of character. It’s not even your recipe to protect confused

RedTartanLass Fri 15-Feb-19 08:00:50

* I know you've said she's not a nice person but you don't come over so great yourself.*

This ^

In fact you sound awful, you and your mate maliciously and gleefully laughing at her begin her back. You obviously hate her and you're probably a lovely person normally but this is not a nice thread.

OnlineAlienator Fri 15-Feb-19 08:04:23

It's maybe not just you but i find it perfectly logical behaviour if it was such a good cake!

DayKay Fri 15-Feb-19 08:05:36

If this had happened at my work place, it would be seen as weird.
We had bullying arsey senior staff too and we’d all be a bit suspicious if they suddenly bought in a cake because it had been popular and just made by someone two days ago.
It sounds like she wants to be liked and thinks this is the way to do it.
As for only giving the author of a recipe, what’s wrong with that?
Often if I get asked about my recipes (which I have done) I’ll give the response ‘oh it’s the yummy scrummy carrot cake in bbcgoodfood’* and off they’ll go. Who has time to start giving out full recipes?
*fab recipe if anyone wants to try it.

Littlechocola Fri 15-Feb-19 08:11:26

Not weird.

Slightly jealous as we’re allowed only healthy snacks. Your senior can bring her cake here.

Canshopwillshop Fri 15-Feb-19 08:11:36

I think it’s a bit weird OP.

JacquesHammer Fri 15-Feb-19 08:13:34

Not weird, you seem unkind though

detectorist Fri 15-Feb-19 08:14:00

I feel sorry for her, you sound very bitchy and she was clearly just trying to be accepted.

Debruary Fri 15-Feb-19 08:16:30

I think you’re being weirder about it than she is grin

Gazelda Fri 15-Feb-19 08:24:02

You baked a cake, shared it with colleagues and feel quite proud of yourself.
She baked a cake (OK, same recipe), shared it with colleagues who slagged it off and think she's weird.
I don't think you come out of this feet well OP.

cocodash Fri 15-Feb-19 08:24:19

so in a nutshell you baked a cake. she asked for the recipe and then made it and brought it in.

1. Maybe she really liked the cake. be flattered.
2. Maybe she was really proud of her efforts and wanted to share them with her work colleauges.
3. Maybe she knows you all dont like her and was trying to build bridges

the fact that you and others then laughed at her attempts just makes you out to be a bunch of bitches.

EssentialHummus Fri 15-Feb-19 08:25:40

It is a bit weird - a really short space of time, and the same cake? (I'll be honest - if it was someone at work who I found bullying I'd have, er, tweaked the recipe before passing it on, but I can be petty like that grin.)

runsmidgeOMG Fri 15-Feb-19 08:26:22

This quote comes to mind. I know it's about Facebook etc but I feel relevant. I'm sure this woman is a PITA but I don't think you would have laughed and bitched about it if it was someone you liked or saw "worthy"

We all have people we dislike, we're only human but the sheep mentality of laughing about one person makes me sad. Maybe when she does things to upset others you should ask why she feels the need to act that way and tell her how you feel rather than passively aggressively withholding cake recipes.

BoringPerson Fri 15-Feb-19 08:28:03

.

Decksdark Fri 15-Feb-19 08:31:48

No it’s not that weird. You sound petty and bitchy

Solasshole Fri 15-Feb-19 08:36:31

Given we are only seeing your opinion of your colleague here, OP, it would be just as plausible that it's actually you and the other colleagues who bitch about the band 6 nurse that are the actual assholes here.

I have seen it plenty of times in my career where there are a bunch of bitchy, sub-standard individuals in a department who resent being told to stop being shit at their jobs by other competent staff and therefore brand them as bitches and slag them off.

My boss has a reputation for being a cow in my field but she is a lovely, lovely person who just does not put up with incompetence from other people, especially when they try and deny it.

Given you've decided to come on here to bitch about your colleague over something so ridiculously trivial I wonder who is actually the bitch in this situation.

Aridane Fri 15-Feb-19 08:36:43

The weirdest thing is you refusing to disclose even the author of the recipe to Objectionable Colleague

FeedMeBooks Fri 15-Feb-19 08:37:30

I think it is a bit weird. Googling the recipe and trying at home with family/friends because you thought it lovely is not weird but taking into the same workplace within a week bit weird.

TheRealHousewife Fri 15-Feb-19 08:37:54

I’ve witnessed passive aggressive cake wars in the workplace, they are crumby grin

More importantly have you a link for the recipe please smile Google didn’t bring it up for me, just one with bananas 🍌

Costacoffeeplease Fri 15-Feb-19 08:40:33

It’s pretty weird to go to the bother of posting on mumsnet. It’s a cake, get over it

ravenmum Fri 15-Feb-19 08:42:04

I don't think it's at all surprising. She asked for the recipe, knowing that you share your recipes with everyone else, and you refused to give it to her as a sign of how much you dislike her. She must have felt embarrassed being openly snubbed and left out of a group. So she brought the cake in to say "See, I don't need your friendship anyway".

hendal Fri 15-Feb-19 08:42:12

I’m glad I don’t work with any of you. You all sound like a bunch of petty bullies.

ravenmum Fri 15-Feb-19 08:44:33

The Goodfood carrot cake really is delicious!

Halloumimuffin Fri 15-Feb-19 08:44:46

She asked for the recipe, what did you think she was going to do with it?

DailyBaileys Fri 15-Feb-19 08:45:10

I think it is a bit odd to bring in a copycat cake (as this one was fairly unusual), just a few days after yours.
Especially if she's not known to bring in homemade cakes.

A couple of months later, maybe, OK.

PaddyF0dder Fri 15-Feb-19 08:45:51

You sound as bad as each other.

Movinghouseatlast Fri 15-Feb-19 08:46:07

That isn't weird, no! She loved your cake so much that she wanted to make it herself. I quite fancy making it myself, it sounds lovely. It sounds like there is a culture of cake making at work? So I would take it as a compliment.

I mean this nicely, I really do, but do you always make everything about you? It isn't a trait that is particularly easy to live with.

I have a friend at work who commented that I was 'showing off' and trying to 'show her up' when I made home made Eater eggs last year. She made my gesture about her.

ThatssomebadhatHarry Fri 15-Feb-19 08:46:39

It’s weird your so bothered by it tbh.

She liked the cake as did your colleagues. What weird to make a cake knowing that everyone likes it.

Bit bitchy there too op. Don’t think we are getting the whole story.

PBo83 Fri 15-Feb-19 08:48:10

I wish I could goto work and my biggest issue that week was that a colleague I didn't particularly like asked me for a cake recipe.

Wheresthebeach Fri 15-Feb-19 08:48:32

Bloody hell...mean girls on a ward with a cake...

DailyBaileys Fri 15-Feb-19 08:57:03

btw--

Was this a layer cake, with frosting?
Or more of a banana bread with blueberries in it?
Just wondering. smile

PositiveVibez Fri 15-Feb-19 09:10:25

We had a bit of a laugh about it because apparently it was shit as she’d burnt it and managed to make it really dry

How pathetic.

PinkiOcelot Fri 15-Feb-19 09:12:18

Clearly, some of you people have never worked with an arse hole bully before or had your life made a bloody misery by one!! Well lucky you!

ThatssomebadhatHarry Fri 15-Feb-19 09:16:43

We have Pinki and they behave similarly to how OP behaves.

FiveRedBricks Fri 15-Feb-19 09:17:13

"my recipes"... Err now love you got it from a book 😂

Snappedandfarted2019 Fri 15-Feb-19 09:19:07

It’s a non issue really just something to laugh about and move on. I find it odd you’ve been that bothered to make a thread about though 🤷🏻‍♀️

icannotremember Fri 15-Feb-19 09:21:30

It doesn't sound weird. She likes the cake. She tried making it. She brought it in to share. What's weird about that?

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