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To think women are fucked over with contraception

(87 Posts)
Nuphonewhodis Thu 14-Feb-19 19:19:30

So I've only ever used condoms as I've only really had sporadic sex. However, I've started getting serious with a new man and I really need a more reliable form of contraception (as well as condoms).

However, I've been researching different contraceptions and every single one seems to have a risk of some really shit side effects!

Acne, weight gain, more painful periods!
I'm so jealous of how easy men have it I'm this regard!

So does anyone have any recommendations for a contraception that isn't likely to give me acne, make me gain weight or make my already very painful peropds worse?! Aka the holy grail

Inaquandry06 Sun 17-Feb-19 18:54:26

Marking place, I have children already but have been on and off the pill since I was a teenager, have come off it completely now as it ruined my libido and ruined my mental health and I am lates 30s so thought that’s probably long enough to have been pumping hormones into my body.

Plus side of the pill was hardly any weight gain, lighter periods and my skin was glowing - however now I’ve stopped taking it my acne has come back tenfold!

I too need something more reliable than condoms but am worried about side effects of other contraception

yikesanotherbooboo Sun 17-Feb-19 14:42:50

Most women are fine with most forms of contraception.
Acne and significant weight gain are not common side effects. All of the methods are easily reversible .
Talk to your doctor or family planning nurse about your options and try the method that seems to fit the bill best. If it doesn't suit you , try something else. A very few women are very susceptible to hormone side effects which greatly limits their choices but most find something that suits. Don't let fear of side effects put you off using adequate contraception , apart from anything else pregnancy hormones are much more likely to give you spot, cause weight gain, cause blood clots, upset your mood and libido etc.

Tumbleweed101 Sun 17-Feb-19 14:10:36

I’ve only used condoms and natural cycle methods. Haven’t taken any hormonal birth control at all and I’m in my 40’s now. I’ve never been keen on the idea of altering my natural cycle and I also had friends who struggled to have children and both had been put on the pill as teens, so that made me more wary still.

RoboticSealpup Sat 16-Feb-19 10:29:15

*asking, not aging

RoboticSealpup Sat 16-Feb-19 10:29:03

But arent there female versions of a condom?

The fact that you're even aging this tells you something, doesn't it? I've never seen these sold or advertised anywhere.

QwertyLou Sat 16-Feb-19 09:33:08

I agree the burden is disproportionately on women. Quite unfair! But I think even if the man was taking the male pill (which I believe does exist now)... I wouldn’t want to rely on that alone.

Condoms (strictly correct use - Not “you only have to put it on at the end” (!!)) plus charting for now.

Then try the other options and see how you go, it’s such an individual thing.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Sat 16-Feb-19 01:16:30

Diaphragm and condoms, I wish I had used them religiously and not jusy asked for the pill because i didnt know about the sude effevts and it toook me years to realise i was getting psychotic bevause of it

FrustratedTeddyLamp Sat 16-Feb-19 01:16:11

But arent there female versions of a condom? So like condoms only thing to worry about is latex allergy. I would imagine you cant use both male and female condoms at the same time but its still a female side effect equivalent to male contraception that PPs consider easy.

Bubba1234 Sat 16-Feb-19 01:14:30

Mirena coil best invention ever
Seriously can’t understand how not everyone just gets it in that can that is
You get it fitted then for 5 years your free

gluteustothemaximus Sat 16-Feb-19 00:55:48

Tried several types of pill, all reacted very very badly. Acne on one, very severe. Mental breakdown feelings on another.

Did get bigger boobs with one, but migraines too.

Condoms it is, avoid ovulation/fertile window. Worked for many years.

Coldilox Fri 15-Feb-19 20:44:41

Lesbianism has proven very effective for me, only the one child (and that didn’t result from sex!) to manage periods I have the Mirena which I love, not had had a period for about 3 years.

whitehousemum Fri 15-Feb-19 20:29:51

I'm struggling with this too. I was on the pill for several years but it killed my sex drive and I think contributed to making me me insulin resistant I have pcos). Came off it to have a baby, which took 3 years. In the meantime after that baby we used condoms but had an accident with one quite quickly - no pregnancy from that but made me worried. Now we are trying again, I've lost a lot of weight since first getting pregnant with my toddler and my periods are regularish again (still breastfeeding the toddler), I'm considering trying fertility awareness methods after next baby (if we manage to have one!) with the view that a third wouldn't be the end of the world but I know that actually it can be tricky to get pregnant and I feel more comfortable with knowing my fertility signs. If that fails, DH will have to go and have a vasectomy!.. he's not so keen on that right now...

NannyRed Fri 15-Feb-19 20:16:31

Dear OP, You have issues with women suffering because of spots, dvt, bp , weight gain, etc. You do realise that you can let him take full control, he can suffer all side effects but you are left wondering if he has properly took control.

dontforgetbilly Fri 15-Feb-19 20:12:31

Might be getting even worse. A CCG is considering not offering vasectomies on the NHS.

Although fine with hormonal contraception pre children I couldn't handle any I tried after them. Weight, spots, constant bleeding were the side effects which I could live with but the irrational anger I constantly felt was ruining our family life. My husband insisted it was now time for him to take responsibility on the contraception front- I'm not sure what we would have done if this wasn't possible on the NHS

Thatsalovelycuppatea Fri 15-Feb-19 19:54:40

I've got the copper coil in. Haven't had any issues. They can be in for up to 10 years I think.

happymummy12345 Fri 15-Feb-19 12:00:27

I've only ever been on the combined pill. Was on regividon (sp?) from when I was 16 until we started ttc. After giving birth I went back on it at the 6 week check. It no longer agreed with me, so I switched to microgynon. I've had no problems at all. I swear by the pill.
I've never had any other form or contraception and hope I never need to change. Also I've never ever used condoms and never ever would.

ForTheLoveOfDoughnuts Fri 15-Feb-19 09:23:08

Kyleena (like the Mirena) but less hormones

Babdoc Fri 15-Feb-19 09:10:53

May I just offer a word of caution to PPs promoting the “Natural Cycles” app as a contraceptive.
It’s a Swedish company which was forced to drop its advertising claim of being an effective contraceptive after 37 abortions had to be performed on its users by Swedish gynaecologists, who raised a legal case against it.
The truth is, there is no perfect method of birth control. The human female body has evolved to get pregnant as easily and frequently as possible, and this is so crucial to species survival that it’s difficult to circumvent hormonally without many side effects!
OP, you need to discuss your available options at a family planning clinic or with your GP. It’s very much down to personal preference which of the available methods you choose, and how high a failure rate you’re prepared to tolerate. As you say your cycle is very irregular, you’re unlikely to be a good candidate for any of the “natural” methods.

Seline Fri 15-Feb-19 09:10:46

River that's really unfair of him!

I wanted my tubes typing but I'm too young at 25 apparently. I have three kids already and don't want to risk leaving them without a mother. I nearly died giving birth (didn't know prior to my last pregnancy) and my eldest son is deeply upset by this (we didn't tell him but kids aren't stupid and he keeps asking if I'm going to leave him).

Keep getting told but what if I change my mind or get divorced and my new partner wants kids. Doesn't seem to bother anyone that I could literally die... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Purplejay Fri 15-Feb-19 09:10:24

I went on the pil in my late teens through most of my 20’s. It was great. Periods which were heavy painful and lasted a week then lasted 4 days and were much note manageable.

I went on the mini pill 2-3 years ago in my early 40’s after my periods became horrendous. It is fantastic. I now have no periods. I love it!

I haven’t gained weight with either pill and they have only helped - in my case massively.

I think it’s wonderful we have contraceptive choices tbh.

I have friends who say very positive things about the coil but also some it didn’t suit and I didn’t fancy it.

HappyGoLuckyGo Fri 15-Feb-19 09:10:04

OP, YANBU.

I don’t have any useful advice re choice of contraception because currently we don’t use any. I don’t want a baby, but I got such utter rage when I restarted the minipill after my baby’s birth and had 3 periods in one month. Came off it and remain, frankly, angry. So so fed up with being poked, prodded, sliced up (c section then tried the implant briefly but it didn’t agree with me), mood swings, bleeding, arghhh. All because I’m a woman!

Eventually I’ll calm down and probably try the minipill again, or we’ll have another baby.

RiverTam Fri 15-Feb-19 09:05:13

I also have a friend who could die if she became pregnant. But her DH doesn't like condoms and won't get the snip. So they don't have PIV sex.

ToffeePennie Fri 15-Feb-19 09:04:20

I have similar problems! I can’t take hormonal contraception because it turns me into a psycho. I can’t cope with the coil and I can’t deal with spermicides (my entire vagina and vulva have massive reactions). Condoms are ok ish. But my husband is now under strict instructions to get snipped.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant Fri 15-Feb-19 09:03:09

Men have it easy because we allow it, he can stay in condoms of have a vasectomy if he wishes

Badwifey Fri 15-Feb-19 09:01:05

I just went back on the pill after years of being off it. My periods were getting really heavy and causing iron deficiency which lead to exhaustion.

Emotionally it isn't affecting me as it did years ago but it has completely killed my sex drive. My DH has a lower sex drive than me anyway so I suppose it'll do.

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