To think women are fucked over with contraception(87 Posts)
So I've only ever used condoms as I've only really had sporadic sex. However, I've started getting serious with a new man and I really need a more reliable form of contraception (as well as condoms).
However, I've been researching different contraceptions and every single one seems to have a risk of some really shit side effects!
Acne, weight gain, more painful periods!
I'm so jealous of how easy men have it I'm this regard!
So does anyone have any recommendations for a contraception that isn't likely to give me acne, make me gain weight or make my already very painful peropds worse?! Aka the holy grail
I love my Mirena coil buts its not for everyone. It's stopped me getting pregnant and reduced heavy periods so I'm happy.
Do they still do the "dutch cap"? And spermicide?
I had the implant in.
I did gain weight but tbh it was when I started uni and had loads of take aways so I don't know how much it correlates.
I did like that it stopped my periods altogether though. (So did the mini pill)
I’m another Mirena user. Get along very well with it, but know it doesn’t agree with everyone.
What about the implant?
Mirena! Ticks all those boxes. I loved mine, no periods, no side effects. Less than 1% of the hormone is released into the bloodstream so side effects are rare.
I wouldn't bother with a Dutch cap unless you don't mind a significant risk of pregnancy...
I don’t think it exists op! Condoms are the only contraception I can cope with but even they can fail.
Can anyone else just not cope with hormonal stuff? I had the injection once and thought I was having a mental breakdown. Absolutely awful.
I've had the copper coil for years, I love it. I don't know how it affects periods, it might make them heavier for some people but it hasn't for me. If anything they are lighter and less painful that they were before.
For me it doesnt exist. The pill kills my libido (although one could argue that makes it even more effective as i definitly wont be getting pregant if sex repulses me). The implant made me balloon in weight and once id had it removed my grey fog of depression instantly lifted. My vagina hates spermicides and becomes very raw, red and angry. My one attempt at getting a coil fitted led to the nurse panicking that she'd perforated my womb
she didn't but i was sent to hospital to have a million people inspect what was happening with it.
Hormonal contraception makes me suicidal, I stick with condoms.
Every woman is different, what suits some won’t suit others.
I had a Mirena too, and it was brilliant for me. But I mentioned the dutch cap because I have read horror stories from.other women about how badly it has affected them, and how hard it can be to get it removed if it doesn't work for you. Dutch cap plus spermicide plus condoms, you're pretty safe.
Rule out copper coil which will likely make your periods worse, and if you’re young and already obese then the depot injection may make you gain weight. None of the others have a significant weight gain side effect or cause heavy periods. You’re right there are lots of side effects, but also lots of positives with some methods and if you’re unlucky it’s not big deal to switch methods.
Important things to consider - would you like something long acting like a coil / implant / injection? Would you like something that will likely make you’re periods lighter or stop them? Are you a smoker / over 35 / have migraines with aura which may limit options.
Have you tried any contraception in the past either as a contraceptive or to manage your periods?
Condoms plus charting. Use condoms most days. Abstain on fertile days.
Hormonal birth control and I are not a good match.
I can't be the only one who wonders how we now have numerous contraceptive options for women, pills, coils, implants, injections but still nothing than men can take . There are injections to temporarily sterilise male animals why not male humans? Pisses me right off actually. I just don't believe with all the advances in medicine that it isn't possible.
I was lucky as I used the Cerazette mini pill for five years without any noticeable side effects. It stopped my periods and they took a while to return when I came off them.
I agree OP. The reason the male pill never got off the ground was due to side effects. I wonder if any of them were as serious as some of the ones we are expected to put up with.
I also recently researched many contraceptives and what stood out was that the common, as in affect more than one in ten women, were numerous as well as many being side effects I would class as serious. We really do have the shitty end of the stick.
For me it was the implant, easiest 3 years ever contraception wise.
Im not obese but I'm right at the higher limit of a healthy weight and it's a constant battle to not veer into being overweight, so contraception which would make me gain weight would really not be ideal. I'm under 35 and don't smoke.
I've never been on any kind of contraception before so it's all very new to me. My periods are already very light but are extremely painful. Its not important to me that they get lighter or even that they disappear at all, just anything which at the very least doesn't make them even more painful would be fine by me.
A long term one would also be preferable but I'm also happy to take a short-term one as long as it doesn't give me the side effects im most scared of.
Also, is acne only really likely if you have a history with it? I have always had pretty clear skin so is this likely to make any difference?
I was on the pill most of my adult life and had no problems with it, it does suit some people so might be worth a try.
Diaphragm or cap plus spermicide plus condom. Or diaphragm or cap plus spermicide plus withdrawal. Or condom plus withdrawal. Or as mentioned by a PP charting plus either condom cap or diaphragm.
I have only recently started having sex for the first time (am iny 40s) and spent ages looking into the various contraception options and was really annoyed with all the possible side effects, and the fact that most were for women. I am currently using condoms, and plan to start using the diaphragm as well soon. I can't chart as am perimenopausal and my periods are all over the place.
I got a Mirena coil 10 months ago, and up until a few months ago I wanted it removed. Random bleeding (still much lighter than my heavy periods when not on HC, but went on for weeks at a time) and it did affect my previously clear skin for a few months. Those hormonal volcanoes beneath the skin type acne. Now I seem to have a very light 'period' every couple of months, and my skin has cleared up nicely. I love it now, but it took some time to get there.
Copper coil is great for me
My periods are LESS HEAVY and less painful!
Lasts 5 years
Agree with @Purpleartichoke
I wish Natural Cycles had been around sooner for me. Used it for nearly 3 years now and find it's been an eye opener for me understanding how my body works. If you're thinking of having a family in the future - you'll already know how your cycles are.
With the caveat that it won't work for all women as it's more involved - so no good if you're the type of person who wants something they can take and forget about!
I'm on my third consecutive implant without any problems.
I take the combined pill as a form of HRT and I think it’s amazing. I am going through an early menopause aged 38 and I am very low on oestrogen which can damage your heart and cause bone problems later in life. The combined pill is a way for me to replace the oestrogen and have birth control at the same time. I have taken it safely for years and will continue to do so.
I think we are entering a very strange world where everyone is so terrified of risks and side effects no one wants to take or do anything. Yes it’s good to be aware of the risks but life is FULL of risks, you do whatever you need to do to make life bearable / fun / enjoyable. It’s about weighing it all up and deciding what’s worth trying.
Pill gave amplified my migraines but then I was already a sufferer. I didn't have weight gain issues with them nor did it particularly affect my periods. If you get a coil, just make sure the 'lie' of your uterus is checked, mine wasn't and the GP shoved the coil straight through the wall of my uterus, cue me passing out and needing it removed in hospital by GA. Not fun and despite the consultant kindly offering me another done properly under GA again, I politely declined!!
Patriarchy innit?! If men were more affected by pregnancy and birth, you can be sure they would've developed reliable, safe, side effect free contraception.
We have the technology for male birth control but the menz can't cope with the side effects (plus it's not very macho to take it as that's for women to worry about)
The injection works well for me. I don't have periods, or the cyclic moods that used to come with my periods.
You'll always hear about the worst possible side effects, but not everyone has those side effects.
Yes. I hate it
- condoms. Allergic to latex and feel disgusting anyway
-the pill. Crappy migraines on it and I got pregnant on it twice.
- the implant/mini pill. Don't want something that has to be surgically removed and those hormones make me depressed
- mirena. Got depression from that too
The only option I have it copper coil. Too bad I already have periods so agonising I'm prescribed opiates.
Oh and I also get pregnant really easily, and miscarry often in traumatic ways and another pregnancy that did go full term could potentially kill me.
Isn't it fun being me.
According to MN the pill is evil. In my experience and that of many women I know, it isn't. I took the pill back in the late 1970s and early 1980s with no side effects whatsoever. DD is also fine on her pill.
What PottyPotterer and youaremyrain said.
Women get a raw deal. Then again, I'm not sure I would want to rely on somebody else taking a pill to prevent me conceiving.
I use the Mirena and love it. Dh looked into the snip, but considered the risks to be to high. He hadn't weighed it against the risk to me from the mirena.
Condoms and get to know your cycle. Don’t have sex during fertile period if you are worried. That is 5 days during a 28 day cycle . And if your using a condom when you do have sex then you would be safe. For example 28 day cycle. Fertile period is day 11-16. Don’t have sex those days and when you have sex the other days use condoms just in case. My dh and I didn’t use condoms and we just used pull out method during fertile time after a year together (this is when we decided if we fell pregnant we would be happy, but to still do pull out anyway). The first month we decided to not pull out during fertile period we got pregnant. Again we knew we would be happy w a baby. So we decided to see what happens during fertile period. So if you know your cycle well you can use it for prevention and to get pregnant if you want.
Natural Cycles App
No hormones and total awareness of your body and your cycle. I can't recommend it enough.
I would never use hormonal contraception again.
Used Natural Cycles for two years to prevent pregnancy successfully and then when I wanted to ttc switched the settings and was pregnant on the first month!
I have the Mirena coil and I love it. I’ve had no side effects apart from it stopping my periods, but that’s a positive for me.
It wasn’t exactly pleasant getting it in though!
I wanted a cap as I had one about 20 years ago but they aren't really a thing any more, shame because I preferred it to anything else.
In the end I got a copper coil and frankly it was horrific! Getting it fitted was incredibly painful, I actually passed out, and I have a high pain tolerance. The doctor didn't sterilise things properly so I ended up getting a pelvic infection and after that my periods got heavier and more painful.
Well it absolutely depends on the person! I’m on the pill and have never had a bad/weight gain/mood/health side effect... i also had awful awful heavy hideously painful periods, it stopped that.
I did have a baby whilst on them though 🤣😂
Also, any app or natural cycles is not a form of contraception.
Copper cool has worked great for me. Periods haven't change, except that my cramps are less painful. U
I have been on the pill most of my adult life and never had a problem. Currently off it as TTC but usually take it for 3 months at a time .
Mini pill and implant made me bleed continuously.
Never been a big fan of condoms - I like spontaneity but whatever works for you. Can be trial and error
Mirena here, best once I've ever tried out of 3 types of pill and several shots at the implant.
Back when I was young enough I took the combined pill for many years and it was great. Microgynon 30.
Ran back to back packets to skip awful periods, fertility came straight back after stopping, no problem. But I tried a few others first that didn't suit me, and the mini pill which made me bleed lightly but constantly. Now on 2nd mirena and good except my uterus eats them so I've lost the strings again.
Personally I liked the pill, also got on well with the patch didn't have the side effects
Not so good with the mirena as it perforated my uterus
Natural methods aren't good for me as the time I'm fertile is the time I want it and really can't trust myself (he's had a vasectomy now so I'm realising this more)
I think part of the issue with male contraception is because the female is the one who can get pregnant it's a big deal to hand over that control to someone else (I know I kind of have with the vasectomy but I have it in writing and doesn't depend on him doing anything regularly)
I've tried the pill, mini pill, implant and mirena. Mirena is the only one that I would recommend.
The pill gave me headaches and depression the mini pill gave me acne, weight gain, random bleeding and my first daughter , the implant gave me really bad backne and constant bleeding.
Mirena has made my periods lighter and less frequent (though I bled lightly about 50 % of the time for the first 3 months) and has causes no negative side effects. It did bloody hurt going in though
I love my copper coil. had heavier periods first 6 months but calmed now and skin is no where near as bad as it was on the pill.
I'm on depo provera at the moment and despite a lot of horror stories, it's worked out really well for me. Firstly, I'm autistic and have a sensory processing disorder, which pretty much rules out the coil because of the placement process and the pill because I can't swallow tablets. I started contraception not specifically as a contraceptive- I'm gay- but instead because I have anxiety and dermatitis which both flared up pretty severely with every period. I would have one week before my period where my skin would start to dry out and I'd be feeling a bit more anxious, the week of my period when I was constant pain because of my skin, lightheaded from cramps and also suffering from anxiety attacks, and then it would take a third week for everything to settle down again. It took about four shots before it completely stopped my period but in the meantime I had light spotting around the right part of my cycle for it to be considered a very small period but the symptoms that bothered me were unnoticeable even during the spotting.
I've only had a couple of issues with it and neither are definitively linked to the depo shot itself. The first was a severe infection from when a nurse gave me the injection into an already-infected patch of skin, and the second is mild weight gain. The weight gain is what bothers me the most, but I've been taking measures to walk more and eat a little better to make sure that even if I'm not the thinnest, I'm relatively healthy. There's an equal chance of that being linked to my antidepressants as it is to my contraceptive, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
I was reading about a contraceptive sponge which when activated had spermicide in. Has anyone know anything about it? Currently single but would love to find a second form alongside condoms which isn’t hormonal
The pill gave me depression. The mirena almost fell out. The copper coil made my usually light periods unbearably heavy.
We successfully used fertility awareness for 2 years. Condoms pre fertile phase,abstain during fertile phase then nothing after.
After each pregnancy we just used condoms the whole time. (Both pregnancies planned.
DH has now had a vasectomy.
It sucks that the contraceptive burden is on women when we're only fertile a few days a month. I know the pregnancy affects us, but men should have options too.
To the PP who wanted a cap and found they weren't really a thing anymore, you can still get them. I don't know if you can get them on then NHS (I haven't tried to get one) , but you can get one called Femcap online, for around £50.
How do men "have it easy in this regard?"
We've never got on with the pill and have used condoms for 10 years. I've now had the snip as it's the lowest risk, simplest way for us now we have our kids.
I wish there was a better female pill, or a good male one, but looked you say for sporadic sex/ partners condoms are the only option
The Mirena made me bleed almost constantly for the first 6 months. Just as I was getting fed up and about to go back and demand it was taken out it stopped and I've had 1 small bleed in 18 months.
Natural cycles and diaphram with spermicide!
I tried the implant in my teens, was bleeding every two weeks for a week for the whole three years.
The pill worked well for me for a while but then i started getting awful migraines with aura so I can't take that anymore, but i haven't had a migraine since i stopped it.
The sexual health centre was really trying to push me for a copper coil, but me and DH wanted to try and conceive in the next few months so I didn't see the point in having it, although they still tried to push this on me when I told them why!
So I used a diaphram and spermicide until we were really to TTC, and avoided sex on my fertile days, although I didn't try very hard on this and we quite often did have sex on my fertile days!
Worked really well and I then didn't have to wait to TTC cause i didn't have any hormones in me!
How do men "have it easy in this regard?"
You don't have to deal with the side effects of contraception, pregnancy or an abortion.
How do men "have it easy in this regard?"
Are you kidding me? Or just hard of thinking?
Women's options all have risks and side effects, not to mention the risk of pregnancy to the woman if they fail. Including blood clots strokes and death.
Potential risk from condoms? Latex allergy perhaps, slightly reduced sensation.
So take your ' poor men ' and shove it where it won't get anyone pregnant
men are not groomed from an early age to accept decades-long medication with some dire side effects and general fucking around with their hormones as the 'norm'.
If I get pregnant again I could literally die due to having rare complications that may reoccur. Not quite the same as men not liking condoms.
I just went back on the pill after years of being off it. My periods were getting really heavy and causing iron deficiency which lead to exhaustion.
Emotionally it isn't affecting me as it did years ago but it has completely killed my sex drive. My DH has a lower sex drive than me anyway so I suppose it'll do.
Men have it easy because we allow it, he can stay in condoms of have a vasectomy if he wishes
I have similar problems! I can’t take hormonal contraception because it turns me into a psycho. I can’t cope with the coil and I can’t deal with spermicides (my entire vagina and vulva have massive reactions). Condoms are ok ish. But my husband is now under strict instructions to get snipped.
I also have a friend who could die if she became pregnant. But her DH doesn't like condoms and won't get the snip. So they don't have PIV sex.
I don’t have any useful advice re choice of contraception because currently we don’t use any. I don’t want a baby, but I got such utter rage when I restarted the minipill after my baby’s birth and had 3 periods in one month. Came off it and remain, frankly, angry. So so fed up with being poked, prodded, sliced up (c section then tried the implant briefly but it didn’t agree with me), mood swings, bleeding, arghhh. All because I’m a woman!
Eventually I’ll calm down and probably try the minipill again, or we’ll have another baby.
I went on the pil in my late teens through most of my 20’s. It was great. Periods which were heavy painful and lasted a week then lasted 4 days and were much note manageable.
I went on the mini pill 2-3 years ago in my early 40’s after my periods became horrendous. It is fantastic. I now have no periods. I love it!
I haven’t gained weight with either pill and they have only helped - in my case massively.
I think it’s wonderful we have contraceptive choices tbh.
I have friends who say very positive things about the coil but also some it didn’t suit and I didn’t fancy it.
River that's really unfair of him!
I wanted my tubes typing but I'm too young at 25 apparently. I have three kids already and don't want to risk leaving them without a mother. I nearly died giving birth (didn't know prior to my last pregnancy) and my eldest son is deeply upset by this (we didn't tell him but kids aren't stupid and he keeps asking if I'm going to leave him).
Keep getting told but what if I change my mind or get divorced and my new partner wants kids. Doesn't seem to bother anyone that I could literally die... 🤷🏻♀️
May I just offer a word of caution to PPs promoting the “Natural Cycles” app as a contraceptive.
It’s a Swedish company which was forced to drop its advertising claim of being an effective contraceptive after 37 abortions had to be performed on its users by Swedish gynaecologists, who raised a legal case against it.
The truth is, there is no perfect method of birth control. The human female body has evolved to get pregnant as easily and frequently as possible, and this is so crucial to species survival that it’s difficult to circumvent hormonally without many side effects!
OP, you need to discuss your available options at a family planning clinic or with your GP. It’s very much down to personal preference which of the available methods you choose, and how high a failure rate you’re prepared to tolerate. As you say your cycle is very irregular, you’re unlikely to be a good candidate for any of the “natural” methods.
Kyleena (like the Mirena) but less hormones
I've only ever been on the combined pill. Was on regividon (sp?) from when I was 16 until we started ttc. After giving birth I went back on it at the 6 week check. It no longer agreed with me, so I switched to microgynon. I've had no problems at all. I swear by the pill.
I've never had any other form or contraception and hope I never need to change. Also I've never ever used condoms and never ever would.
I've got the copper coil in. Haven't had any issues. They can be in for up to 10 years I think.
Might be getting even worse. A CCG is considering not offering vasectomies on the NHS.
Although fine with hormonal contraception pre children I couldn't handle any I tried after them. Weight, spots, constant bleeding were the side effects which I could live with but the irrational anger I constantly felt was ruining our family life. My husband insisted it was now time for him to take responsibility on the contraception front- I'm not sure what we would have done if this wasn't possible on the NHS
Dear OP, You have issues with women suffering because of spots, dvt, bp , weight gain, etc. You do realise that you can let him take full control, he can suffer all side effects but you are left wondering if he has properly took control.
I'm struggling with this too. I was on the pill for several years but it killed my sex drive and I think contributed to making me me insulin resistant I have pcos). Came off it to have a baby, which took 3 years. In the meantime after that baby we used condoms but had an accident with one quite quickly - no pregnancy from that but made me worried. Now we are trying again, I've lost a lot of weight since first getting pregnant with my toddler and my periods are regularish again (still breastfeeding the toddler), I'm considering trying fertility awareness methods after next baby (if we manage to have one!) with the view that a third wouldn't be the end of the world but I know that actually it can be tricky to get pregnant and I feel more comfortable with knowing my fertility signs. If that fails, DH will have to go and have a vasectomy!.. he's not so keen on that right now...
Lesbianism has proven very effective for me, only the one child (and that didn’t result from sex!) to manage periods I have the Mirena which I love, not had had a period for about 3 years.
Tried several types of pill, all reacted very very badly. Acne on one, very severe. Mental breakdown feelings on another.
Did get bigger boobs with one, but migraines too.
Condoms it is, avoid ovulation/fertile window. Worked for many years.
Mirena coil best invention ever
Seriously can’t understand how not everyone just gets it in that can that is
You get it fitted then for 5 years your free
But arent there female versions of a condom? So like condoms only thing to worry about is latex allergy. I would imagine you cant use both male and female condoms at the same time but its still a female side effect equivalent to male contraception that PPs consider easy.
Diaphragm and condoms, I wish I had used them religiously and not jusy asked for the pill because i didnt know about the sude effevts and it toook me years to realise i was getting psychotic bevause of it
I agree the burden is disproportionately on women. Quite unfair! But I think even if the man was taking the male pill (which I believe does exist now)... I wouldn’t want to rely on that alone.
Condoms (strictly correct use - Not “you only have to put it on at the end” (!!)) plus charting for now.
Then try the other options and see how you go, it’s such an individual thing.
But arent there female versions of a condom?
The fact that you're even aging this tells you something, doesn't it? I've never seen these sold or advertised anywhere.
I’ve only used condoms and natural cycle methods. Haven’t taken any hormonal birth control at all and I’m in my 40’s now. I’ve never been keen on the idea of altering my natural cycle and I also had friends who struggled to have children and both had been put on the pill as teens, so that made me more wary still.
Most women are fine with most forms of contraception.
Acne and significant weight gain are not common side effects. All of the methods are easily reversible .
Talk to your doctor or family planning nurse about your options and try the method that seems to fit the bill best. If it doesn't suit you , try something else. A very few women are very susceptible to hormone side effects which greatly limits their choices but most find something that suits. Don't let fear of side effects put you off using adequate contraception , apart from anything else pregnancy hormones are much more likely to give you spot, cause weight gain, cause blood clots, upset your mood and libido etc.
Marking place, I have children already but have been on and off the pill since I was a teenager, have come off it completely now as it ruined my libido and ruined my mental health and I am lates 30s so thought that’s probably long enough to have been pumping hormones into my body.
Plus side of the pill was hardly any weight gain, lighter periods and my skin was glowing - however now I’ve stopped taking it my acne has come back tenfold!
I too need something more reliable than condoms but am worried about side effects of other contraception
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