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AIBU: Teenage friend put on the sex offenders list for 'pantsing' someone at school

(370 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Neonata Mon 11-Feb-19 22:55:01

Last week one of my 15YO DS's closest friends pulled a classmate's gym shorts down in the changing rooms as a prank and unfortunately his pants also came down and he was momentarily exposed. The boy then escalated this and the friend has now been isolated for a day, then excluded for a day and also put on the sex offenders list!!

AIBU to think this is a massive over reaction by the school?? He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

I'm wondering that this will demonise him so much that he will start thinking he is actually a bad person and it will be enough to send him down the wrong path.

EwItsAHooman Mon 11-Feb-19 23:00:13

I may be wrong but to be on the register don't you have to have been cautioned or convicted of an offence? So for a caution or conviction to have been made then there has to been more to it than just a simple prank.

Hopefully the teen in question will use it as an opportunity to reflect on the kind of person they want to be.

funnylittlefloozie Mon 11-Feb-19 23:00:30

What do you mean "put on the sex offendrs list"? Were the police called? Has this gone to court? For how long will this young man have to sign the SOR?

Are you ENTIRELY sure of the facts, or are they coming from your DS?

FrancisCrawford Mon 11-Feb-19 23:01:51

This sounds exaggerated

Mookatron Mon 11-Feb-19 23:02:19

This all sounds very fishy frankly but if it was an innocent prank on a friend they wouldn't have escalated it would they. Sounds more like the worst kind of bullying.

FrenchSchnoodle Mon 11-Feb-19 23:02:39

I'm slightly confused

C0untDucku1a Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:03

that was fast. A werk to go from exposing someone’s private parts to the sex offenders register? It is so fast it almost sounds like bull crap.

SassitudeandSparkle Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:11

hmm So you are saying that your son's school can bypass the legal system entirely and add people to the SOR themselves? Really? It's almost like it's half-term already - oh wait, it is for some ... hmm

PCohle Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:14

Do you mean the sex offenders register? Or is the school keeping some bizarre internal list of sexual offences? To be honest either sounds very unlikely. Are you sure your DS's understanding of what has happened in accurate?

garethsouthgatesmrs Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:19

AIBU to think this is a massive over reaction by the school??

a school hasnt got the power to put someone on the sex offenders list! You have to be convicted of a crime and that won't have happened since last week anyway. You/your DS have been misinformed.

Rapidmama Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:34


lastqueenofscotland Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:34

To be on the sec offenders register you need to go to court and be convinced... which with our clunky justice system won’t have happened jn a week

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:42


Schools can't put someone on the sex offenders list. Sounds like someone's having you on

NC4Now Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:50

Has he been convicted of anything? Or is it just a list in school?
Sounds like Chinese whispers to me.

recrudescence Mon 11-Feb-19 23:04:25

Yes, I think you need to verify the details - being placed on the SOR seems very unlikely.

Leeds2 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:04:25

What do you mean by his being put on the Sex Offenders' List? That just doesn't sound right, from what you have said.

Bigonesmallone3 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:03

Is this the schools own list?

garethsouthgatesmrs Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:06

He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

none of these things make it ok to do what he did. he sounds like a nasty bully to me.

FlibbertyGiblets Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:09


QuintadiMalago Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:11


QuintadiMalago Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:36

PortiaCastis Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:52

A school does not have those powers

wigglypiggly Mon 11-Feb-19 23:06:00


C0untDucku1a Mon 11-Feb-19 23:06:21

Great first post btw.

Boulardii Mon 11-Feb-19 23:06:24

He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

This is neither here nor there really.
Are you saying if the kid was in the bottom set it would be ok to stick him on the SOR, but because this kid is nice and might have a bright future ahead of him, a different standard of behaviour is allowed as his ‘character’ means he would be given another chance?

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