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AIBU to be pissed off my dh has friend round while I'm ill in bed

(99 Posts)
Mydietstartstomorrow Mon 11-Feb-19 22:52:18

Both me and my ds (12) have this horrible lurgy flu bug thing and have been in bed since Friday night. Dh has come home from work this evening and has his friend round (regular visitor to say the least) and they have been drinking downstairs all night. Is it just me being a bit precious and maybe overly emotional as I feel like shit, but think that if your partner is that unwell it's a bit out of order to have friends over for a jolly sesh?! Dh brought him up earlier to help him bring some food up to us (very appreciative of food and waiter service) but not really appreciating him coming into my room when I feel so ill and not seen a shower in nearly 4 days! Also I have the bedroom door open as the room gets stuffy with the central heating on and he's up and down past my room using the lav! AIBU to be annoyed at dh for this?!

HedgePlastic Mon 11-Feb-19 22:54:34

Get out of bed! Far too long to be laying around feeling sorry for yourself. Have a shower, you'll perk up. Of course your DH INBU.

MuddyMoose Mon 11-Feb-19 22:56:44

Im probably going to be out numbered here but I think you're being a tad unreasonable. He's not ill. So what do you expect him to do all night while you're in bed? Just sit downstairs alone. As long as they aren't making excessive noise then I can't see the issue. However, I wouldn't of wanted them both bringing up food / drink.

Turn the heating down. Shut the door. Open a window & get some sleep.

AnyFucker Mon 11-Feb-19 22:59:14

In bed since Friday ? Are you in intensive care ?

Leeds2 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:00:03

I think it very odd that your DH and his friend brought you food. Surely DH could carry a meal/drink for one person by himself?
I would also have shut the door, and opened the window, for the duration of the visit.

NC4Now Mon 11-Feb-19 23:01:08

You need to air your room out! It sounds like an incubator for lurgy.
I’d not mind him having a friend over for a few hours. I wouldn’t want him in my room though. That bit’s odd.

lastqueenofscotland Mon 11-Feb-19 23:01:39

In bed since Friday?! When I was hospitalised with a serious head injury I wasn’t bedbound for that long and managed to wash.
I think you’re hamming it up a bit tbh

gamerchick Mon 11-Feb-19 23:02:56

Brave friend wanting to get that close to that type of bug. Offer to lick his eyeball to show him how grateful you are while your bloke is showing off to his friend how well he's taking care of you.

I mean I think sometimes men are so thoughtless. I've just been told recently I need an operation and husband's wants his sister up to help me while he's at work. Fuck that shit, I struggle with houseguests when I'm well hmm I want to sit on my arse on the PlayStation while the men in the house take care of the running of it. He's been told and this is an otherwise awesome husband.

CleverWittyUsername Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:25

I would absolutely hate that, but luckily DH has no friends so wouldn't happen here.

If it's a flu-type virus it can really knock you on your arse, so I hope you're taking it easy. H had it over Xmas and was in bed 4/5 days, I had it afterwards but made it up from the sickbed after 3 days. I'd have shut my door though.

Maybe it depends how sociable you usually are. I find it really weird someone would even want to come round when a partner and child is in bed ill.

gamerchick Mon 11-Feb-19 23:04:25

I do agree about turning the heating off and opening a window though. You need to air the room out a bit. It'll help you sleep better.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 11-Feb-19 23:05:34

Yabu. Sorry. In fact it makes absolute sense to have friends over when everyone else has been in bed for four days straight.

Mydietstartstomorrow Mon 11-Feb-19 23:06:52

I dont think its odd to be in bed for 3 days when you have flu is it?? I'm normally pretty hard-core but this bug thing has knocked me for 6! Am a little better today so planning on getting out of this room tomorrow. Ok so I am being a bit unreasonable. It's just I wouldn't invite friends over if my family were I'll but maybe it's just me

MuddyMoose Mon 11-Feb-19 23:07:13

Reverse this -

My husband has been in bed for 4 days with the lurgy. I've been sending him food & drink up & making sure he's looked after. I invited a friend over tonight to have a couple glasses of wine with & he's really pissed off with me.

The replies would come flooding in about how he's controlling, does he just expect her to sit there & tend to his needs, how he's milking it, how he's not really "ill".

Just to put it into perspective.

gamerchick Mon 11-Feb-19 23:09:10

No reversing it wouldn't make any difference. Only an idiot invites a friend into a house where they can catch a bug like that.

Redglitter Mon 11-Feb-19 23:09:49

If his friend wasnt over what would he be doing? Probably sitting downstairs watching tv on his own. Its not as if hes sitting drinking and ignoring you

Yes YABU

BackforGood Mon 11-Feb-19 23:12:00

I agree with everyone else.
Turn the radiator down, open a window and shut the door.
Your dh INBU in having a friend round
Your dh (and his mate) are very odd that they thought it appropriate for the pair of them to come into your bedroom when you are feeling ill though.

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets Mon 11-Feb-19 23:17:58

Have you actually been diagnosed with flu??

Jesus wept, patients having major surgery are up and about in 6 hours.

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe Mon 11-Feb-19 23:18:13

I don't know why you're getting such a hard time OP. I've been in bed for over ten days before with the flu, unable to move much other than trips to the toilet.

I'd be pissed off too, especially if my children were in bed.

ClinkyMonkey Mon 11-Feb-19 23:19:12

Missing the point here, but being in bed with flu for a few days is not unusual. That's what tells you it's probably flu and not just a cold. I had it last year and was in a right old state - could barely cross the room to the toilet. Have a heart people!

PersonaNonGarter Mon 11-Feb-19 23:20:15

I think YANBU and I am surprised at the replies.

- 4 days in bed is normal for plenty of bugs and illnesses
- feel ill, feel vulnerable, need to be able to sit about in PJs without anyone but immediate family
- why can’t they go out?

ClinkyMonkey Mon 11-Feb-19 23:21:22

Cross post with Stopmaking!

People criticising OP for malingering clearly haven't had flu.

Iwishiwasapunkrocker Mon 11-Feb-19 23:25:49

OP you don’t have flu, you have a bad cold at the worse.

If you had flu you wouldn’t be on a phone/tablet posting on the internet and wouldn’t be able to eat!!

Mydietstartstomorrow Mon 11-Feb-19 23:26:17

Have i been diagnosed with flu?! What, shall I head down to the docs, infect everyone there, to be told what I already know! I'm 45 years old I know what flu is! I can't really open the window as dh and friend keep going outside to smoke so I'll hear them talking (neither are quiet!) and have the lovely smell of smoke coming in the room. I've accepted I'm probably being unreasonable.

elliollie Mon 11-Feb-19 23:26:57

Flu is awful! I've had it where I can't stand up at all. If the op has flu then we're not talking just feeling a bit crap.
Personally, I'd prefer if dh didn't have people round when I'm feeling so rubbish. I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting in someone else's house either when their spouse was ill in bed.

itwaseverthus Mon 11-Feb-19 23:27:14

God, some people will find anything to moan about! Your Dh is entitled to have company and a bit of a life, even while you are ill. Same if reversed. It's a bit disgusting not to shower or bathe after all that time in bed, ill. YABU

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