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Or is my child head teacher being inappropriate?

(24 Posts)
MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:16:05

My DD 8 came home from school today and told DH that her Head teacher has been asking her questions about another parent (with whom he doesn't get along with). The other parent is a friend of DH so we see him quite a lot. He was asking her if he works etc. My DH has had a word with him this afternoon and informed him he's wrong to ask DD and that he should speak directly to him in future. The Head teacher doesn't think it is inappropriate and said he had asked a child last week wether their parent had bought a Jaguar or if it belonged to their work?! Would you report him or is this normal? If so who would you report him to?
I'm just really annoyed that she has been used as a scapegoat to find out information 😬

KHTeach Mon 11-Feb-19 16:17:41

Very wrong. I'd complain x

Wolfiefan Mon 11-Feb-19 16:19:31

I don’t understand your post? How is your child being a “scapegoat?”
Was the Head chatting to the child or interrogating them about someone? Impossible to tell?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 11-Feb-19 16:19:46

No that's not appropriate at all.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 11-Feb-19 16:19:58

On what grounds are you considering reporting? Schools, like SS, run on general nosiness and gut feelings.

If DHs friends has issues with the HT, there must be a back story. So what is it?

MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:21:02

The parent in question and the head had a disagreement at dinner time today so it say he purpose sought her out to ask! Sorry if my wording wasn't correct.

MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:21:28


PositiveVibez Mon 11-Feb-19 16:22:32

Your child isn't being used as a scapegoat.

He definitely should not be questioning her about your husbands friend.

Wolfiefan Mon 11-Feb-19 16:23:05

How do you know he purposefully sought her out? confused

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 11-Feb-19 16:24:46

Lets try a scenario.

School trip DH mate wont pay the voluntary donation, claims poverty, so HT makes a few gentle enquiries.

So reporting in the first instance means the governors, what do you think they'll make of a general chit chat complaint?

I sincerely doubt the HT had your child against the wall and gave him the Spanish Inquisition. Your DH has already asked him to stop. Im not sure what you are trying to achieve. When you report things, you want an outcome. What are you looking for?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Mon 11-Feb-19 16:25:08

Report for what? Being nosy? She’s being used as a source for information not a scapegoat confused

I wouldn’t be pleased but without more info about the questions I don’t think I can comment. Asking about a car is a fairly innocuous comment I’d have thought?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 11-Feb-19 16:27:09

The parent in question and the head had a disagreement at dinner time today

about what?

What do you mean by "disagreement" ? punch up? quaring up to each other? water fight? what?

MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:27:26

They weren't gentle enquiries and an 8 year old doesn't know if they are being misled. As I said I was just really enquiring what other people thought about it. I'm not trying to achieve anything. I'm just annoyed by it.

RiverTam Mon 11-Feb-19 16:27:59

I would report to the governors at the very least.

I think the OP has misused the word 'scapegoat'.

Youmadorwhat Mon 11-Feb-19 16:28:35

Yet again another example of the utter shite uk schools have to deal with! So he asked your DC A question. Ffs now you want to report him??!! For being nosy??!!

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 11-Feb-19 16:29:09

They weren't gentle enquiries and an 8 year old doesn't know if they are being misled.


MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:29:20

Oh so it's ok then I guess! 🙄

MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 16:31:51

She shouldn't be having to answer questions about other parents. Why not ask one of his 4 children who go to school there? Strange. My DH has had a word so I suppose that will be that. 🤷‍♀️

SubparOwl Mon 11-Feb-19 16:38:20

I don't think it sounds appropriate at all.

greenpop21 Mon 11-Feb-19 16:47:34

Sounds inappropriate but without the full details and context it's hard to tell.

greenpop21 Mon 11-Feb-19 16:50:37

I work in primary school and it would not be right to ask a pupil about another pupil's father and his job.I would be pulled up by my Head if a parents advised them and I would have to explain why I was asking. Quite rightly in my opinion.

CatG85 Mon 11-Feb-19 16:51:50

Totally inappropriate

AWishForWingsThatWork Mon 11-Feb-19 17:18:18

Head shouldn't be asking children about other children's parents. Completely inappropriate.

MyPatronusIsAHyena Mon 11-Feb-19 17:22:36

I'm not a drama type person at all, I hate confrontation. I'm not looking to find things to report. When my DH asked him why he just said, "he likes to be nosy" hmm

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