To revert to babying my DD sometimes?

[RainbowStripe]

She’s 3, and tells me regularly she’s a grown up girl now. I am separated from her dad and I find when she comes back from contact with him she’ll say she’s a baby, she’s clingy wants to be rocked to sleep, needs a baby book (like one of the That’s Not My books) at bedtime, and tends to sneak into my bed in the early hours of the morning (she was breastfed so I would dream feed her in the early hours by moving her from her cot into my bed).

So I do it. I wrap her in a blanket (she used to be swaddled between feeds as a baby) and sit rocking her until she’s asleep, I read her the story she wants, and let her co-sleep. She sometimes asks for a bottle, and I give her a Sippy cup with milk in.

It’s just me and her (and a cat) since my husband left. And I feel that if she needs that comfort then why not?

I told a friend with a similar aged DC and she said she’d not do it, she says DD needs to learn she’s a big girl now and that it’s behaviour of a baby. She’s also a single parent, so wondering if I’m setting my DD up for future problems.

It’s not every night, it’s literally the night she’s had tea with her dad and then the night she comes home after being overnight, so at most twice a week. I don’t think her dads harming her in anyway, I just think because he literally sees her twice a week and nothing else she is clinging onto me in the only way she can in the hope I don’t disappear too (I do everything else alone)

AIBU or do I need to stop treating DD like a baby?

[Amy326]

I think it’s fine! My dd was 2 and a bit when I had my second baby and she started doing this after a few months, saying she was a baby and wanting to be cuddled like a baby etc. I just went along with it and fulfilled that need. I can’t remember how long it lasted but it stopped after a while however she’s now 4 and has started doing it again sometimes, I think as a reaction to starting school and being a ‘big girl’ all day. I guess sometimes they just miss being a baby and they need comfort and to feel safe and this is how it comes out. I would ignore your friend and do what feels right for your daughter! She’s still so young and she clearly just feels she needs lots of comfort from you after seeing her dad, that’s ok.

[Floralhousecoat]

You sound like a loving mum op. This is exactly what I would do in the circumstances. She's only 3. You are simply responding to her need to be reassured and babied when she returns from her dad's. She has obviously missed you while away and is seeking closeness with you when she returns. There's too much emphasis I feel on rushing kids to be independent before they are ready. Just keep responding to her, it will reassure her and make her feel secure.

[InDubiousBattle]

Sometimes they just need what they need. If she's still asking for milk in a sippy cup at 23 then definitely stop.

[PoliticalBiscuit]

That Sounds lovely and like she needs it.

[MostlyBoastly]

She’s not a big girl. She is so very little! She only got knees a year ago, OP. Knees! Love her. Love the crap out of her.

[TulipsTulipsTulips]

I think it’s fine too. Sounds like she’s needing reassurance. I would give her whatever love and attention she needs for now.

[Iblinkedandiamold]

Children are only little for a very short amount of time. Before you know it she won't want you anymore. You said it's not every night just the night she has tea with her father.
This is something she obviously needs right now so I don't think you are BU at all to do it.
Of course I am just speaking as a parent.

[BendingSpoons]

DD is nearly 3. DS is due any day. DD often wants me to feed her like a baby, get her dressed like a baby (she can do these things independently). I'm going with it to give her the reassurance she needs. YANBU to do the same. I firmly believe the best way to reach independence is to allow dependence as needed (obviously within reason and with encouragement where appropriate).

[Tipmeover]

She’s only three - of course you should do it. You will never regret it.

I still read my 6yo ‘That’s not my...’ or Miffy if thats what she wants at night.

[emeraldmoon]

Make the most of it! I love it when my almost 3 yo wants to be wrapped in a blanket and cradled in my arms then he pretends to be a baby by saying goo goo gah gah ❤️

[Ratbagcatbag]

Enjoy every moment.

My nearly six year old gets into my bed every night. Usually after midnight, but sometimes she asks if she can start in there.
She's at her dads three nights a week and besides the last ten mins in a Morning never does it there.

I've had comments from friends about it; but do you know what, it's me, her and our dopey cat, and it's nice. She sometimes very sleepily snuggles against my arm and murmurs "i really love you mummy".
She won't be doing it in a few years, she enjoys it, it's not bothering me and she occasionally sleeps past 6am by allowing this so I figure it's no one else's business.

[Skiphopnjump]

I'm 28 and there are times when I would still want to crawl into my mums bed in the middle of the night for a cuddle tbh....nmand I'm sure if I asked she would oblige!

Nothing wrong with giving your child what they need to feel safe, secure and loved

[strawberryredhead]

Nothing wrong with it at all, it’s lovely. Helps her feel loved and comforted and that’s what you want.

[MeridianB]

I think it sounds lovely. Enjoy every minute.

[MammaSchwifty]

So sweet and lovely, she will grow up so secure and loved. Don't give it a second thought, just enjoy nurturing your little one

[EducatingArti]

Regression to an earlier stage from time to time, especially when needing reassurance is a normal part of child development. I think you are handling it just right!

[Laiste]

Aw 3 ! Still a baby!

DD4 has just turned 5 and has decided she's a grown up girl now she's full time at reception. I'm hoping she'll regress occasionally I love a blanket cuddle.

[drowningincustard]

just read this - am feeling a bit down and sad and this has made me smile - you are giving your daughter exactly what she needs and its lovely. Ignore your friend - she does things her way and let her do that - you and your daughter have a different path and its equally valid and I would much rather be on your path than the other one... x

[Jackshouse]

If course this is fine. You are responding to her needs. I climbed into bed with my Dad when I was in my mid 20s and we had been told that my Mum was very unlikely to make it to the end of the week (she did). I tell my DD when she is playing baby that she will always be my baby even when she is a grown up, I will still be her Mummy and she will still be my baby.

There is nothing better than snuggling in bed with your child.

[reluctantbrit]

DD is 11 and nearly my height. Until last year she would try to crawl on my lap and hide her face in my shoulder when she was upset.

If they need reassurance it is your job to provide it. Sometimes it means behaving like they are a lot younger. So what. As long as they generally behave like they should age wise, at emotional times they are ok to behave differently.

[GummyGoddess]

It isn't doing any harm, you're giving her comfort and reassurance. She's still really little and only just stopped being a toddler, she just needs to feel safe and secure.

[Ratatouille76]

Absolutely fine and lovely! My 7 year old would happily do all those things!

[Hodgehegg]

She is still a baby OP! You cuddle away & enjoy every second (I do with my 4 year old!)

[OMGithurts]

I'm 37 and having a bit of a tough time, my mum is coming to help next week and I think she will make me a hot chocolate and give me a cuddle - so a blanket and some milk at 3 doesn't seem that far away to me! Your DD is lucky to have such a kind mummy

[zod1ac19]

Another one echoing that it’s absolutely fine. It’s lovely that you are giving her that comfort that she needs at that time. Enjoy it while it lasts.