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9 year old daughter told to wear sports bra/crop top

(253 Posts)
movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:29:33

DD came to me last night saying that she needed a sports bra or crop top for P.E in the future as the teacher had told this to a group of girls who had been doing gymnastics and their tshirts had fallen down when doing handstands .

I can only assume this is to cover up their 9 year old nipples for fear of...........what exactly?

Are the boys to cover their nipples also?

AIBU to be cross about this?

Seeline Wed 06-Feb-19 10:33:18

Some 9yos will have a lot more than nipples. May be the teacher suggested this to all the girls to save singling out one girl and causing embarrassment.
Most girls were wearing crop tops by 9 in my DDs class regardless of physical need. The whole class changed in the classroom with the boys, and the girls felt more comfortable with a crop top.

Wallywobbles Wed 06-Feb-19 10:36:39

Some of them are easily a C cup at that age. So possibly general comment rather than embarrassing individuals.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:37:45

None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things.

E20mom Wed 06-Feb-19 10:38:00

It's fair enough rather than singling put some girls. Lots of girls enter puberty at that age.

DorisDances Wed 06-Feb-19 10:39:06

Sounds reasonable at 9 OP

MrsWooster Wed 06-Feb-19 10:39:16

seeline
If girls are developing breasts, then they may well choose to wear tops/bralettes. It sounds like op's daughter isn't and the teacher is enforcing a cover up . I'd suggest to the teacher that this is not yet an issue for many of the girls and she leave it up to the girls / mums to decide when THEY want to cover their chests rather than prematurely making them feel like the object of the male gaze.

ILoveMaxiBondi Wed 06-Feb-19 10:39:21

Maybe she just wants a crop top because her friends have them and This is her way of asking? If not, and she doesn't want a crop top she can just tuck her t-shirt Into her shorts.

lisasimpsonssaxophone Wed 06-Feb-19 10:39:52

Some of them are easily a C cup at that age

9?!

Wtf am I reading?

negomi90 Wed 06-Feb-19 10:39:54

I needed a bra at 9. Better the teacher encourages all of them to wear one than singles out that one girl who knows she's drawn the short straw by being first to develop.

YellowMellow15 Wed 06-Feb-19 10:40:02

I would say you are not bu. Unless the girls want to wear it they shouldnt have to. A vest underneath would suffice but not an actual bra or crop top

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump Wed 06-Feb-19 10:41:19

Not unreasonable. At 9 my dd is too old to be flashing her chest. It’s not about male attention. It’s about what’s appropriate.

Seeline Wed 06-Feb-19 10:41:43

Mrs Worcester As I said in my post, at that age most of the girls in my DDs class wore them because in a mixed changing environment, they felt more comfortable wearing them. No physical need.

Bryjam Wed 06-Feb-19 10:42:38

None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things.

How on earth do you know this confused

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:43:32

I can understand it being reasonable at 9 for girls who have started growing breasts. But again none of these girls who were told to cover up have.
If that was the case surely the way to go about it would be to have a discreet word with that child's parents rather than a blanket rule for all.
Now my DD thinks she has to cover up her non existent breasts.

steppemum Wed 06-Feb-19 10:44:05

well, I'm torn atcually.

Most of dds class agd 9 hd the beginning of breast, they were no longer flat. But that does not mean they need a bra.

On the other hand, if that is the case, it is probably appropriate for them not to be showing then during pe.

I think it would be better phrased - everyone needs to be appropriated dressed for pe, if your T-shirt isn't long enough to tuck in, then a vest/crop top might be a good idea.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:44:29

@Bryjam quite simply because my DD told me who was in the group of 5 girls and I know them all.

PregnantSea Wed 06-Feb-19 10:45:09

I wore a bra at 9. A lot of girls do.

Marcipex Wed 06-Feb-19 10:45:30

I cringe for a particular child in our primary, who is very overweight and bulging in a white polo shirt. I wish someone could say something to her or her parents.
Maybe this was an attempt to tactfully do that.

Sakura7 Wed 06-Feb-19 10:47:56

I don't really see the problem. It may only be an issue for some of the girls now but it's only a matter of time for the others. Better to encourage them all now rather than having some of them feeling left out/wondering why their friends have them, etc. Or singling out the girls who obviously need them. Kids don't like being different from their friends at that age, so I think the teacher's approach is sensible.

RiverTam Wed 06-Feb-19 10:48:12

DD is 9, never wears a vest and is as flat as she was at 4. She would not be wearing a crop top, and I would say so, firmly, to any teacher that requested her to.

as for too old to be flashing her chest - fuck right off with that. Flashing? JFC.

Marcipex Wed 06-Feb-19 10:49:57

I realise all the girls involved are thin/flat chested. I'm not disputing your knowledge of the group.
I do think staff may want to introduce and normalise the idea though, rather than speak to one child.

FortunesFave Wed 06-Feb-19 10:50:13

Make an appointment to see that teacher AND the HT and demand that they put guidelines in place which do not allow for any more sexualising of CHILDREN and that if anyone looks at a flat child's chest and sees something sexual in it then THEY ARE THE PROBLEM.

Not the child's body.

DO it OP. Stop this in it's tracks now. It's disgusting as you've realised.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:52:09

I just don't think it's the teachers call to be honest.

DD did ask for some crop tops at the start of current school year, Not a problem. She stopped wearing them as she found them uncomfortable.
Fair enough.

She's got years ahead of her for wearing uncomfortable undergarments (if she chooses)

And as I've already stated none of the girls are in 'need' of support as yet.

twoshedsjackson Wed 06-Feb-19 10:52:12

It's still quite early in the school year; your daughter could be older Y4, or one of the younger Y5's, in which case it's not unknown for puberty to kick in; more than once, I was startled at the changes over the Easter holidays; something seemed to kick in as the days grew longer.....I agree with other PP's, teacher is probably mentioning it as a general thing, to avoid singling out early starters.

bingoitsadingo Wed 06-Feb-19 10:53:19

YANBU

I was a late developer and I found crop tops really annoying. They never seemed to stay in place well (nor did my first couple of bras) as there's nothing to hold them there! They always rode up.

So no, I would take a dim view of schools insisting on this.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 10:54:01

I emailed the school last night, No response as yet,

TrendyNorthLondonTeen Wed 06-Feb-19 10:55:18

"Some of them are easily a C cup at that age

9?!

Wtf am I reading?"

What's so shocking?

ChinaCrisis Wed 06-Feb-19 10:56:48

Some of them are easily a C cup at that age

9?!

Wtf am I reading?

My daughter started her periods at 9 and definitely needed a bra

RiverTam Wed 06-Feb-19 10:57:41

do people seriously think it is within a teacher's remit to 'introduce' and 'normalise' the wearing of specific pieces of underwear, that for many girls and women will never be a necessity?

Again, Jesus fucking Christ.

Confusedbeetle Wed 06-Feb-19 10:57:50

Try to understand this from your daughters point of view, I well remember wanting a bra before I needed one because I was self-conscious that I hadn't started to develop when others had. There is no way I could tell this to my mother. If you do want to ask the teacher, I would be asking what she thinks, not criticising what she said. As others have said it might have been from a very caring perspective. These issues can be mortifying for a little girl on the brink. Don't make a big issue of it. The issues of covering or not are not just our issues. We need to make life easier for them. Yes I agree not force society's rules on them, just dont embarass them any more

JennieLee Wed 06-Feb-19 10:59:18

Some girls in my daughter's class at primary school would wear the hijab. The teacher didn't suggest that all girls did this in order to normalise wearing a headscarf and 'protect' all girls from the male gaze.

Wallywobbles Wed 06-Feb-19 11:00:29

@lisa DSD was a C cup and had periods at 9. She was on the upper end of physical development in her class but not alone. Sadly the primary school provided no sanitary bins so that made it all worse.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:00:47

@Confusedbeetle did you miss my last post?

I bought DD cropped top/soft bra style things at the start of the year, At her request. She just doesn't want to wear them.
Trust me she has no problem talking to me about such things.

leccybill Wed 06-Feb-19 11:01:12

My DD is 9 (Y4) and she wears a vest still, as do most of her classmates.

pumpastrotter Wed 06-Feb-19 11:01:25

@lisasimpsonssaxophone I was C at 9 blush first bra at 7 - in fact, I had a bigger chest in yr 6 than I do now and basically stopped growing at 11. Very young developer, it happens so don't be so dismissive.

9 is a perfectly acceptable age for girls to start wearing training bras or crop tops, they're more aware of themselves and so are boys and at that age should know about puberty. Not the teacher's call to tell them they need them, but I would find it hard to be angry about it being brought up.

Ifangyow Wed 06-Feb-19 11:01:59

It's entirely up to you and your daughter when she wears a bra or crop top, not her teacher. The girls can tuck their t.shirts into their shorts if needs be.
My now adult daughter takes after me with a large chest. She wore bras while at school simply so she didn't get teased. That was her choice and hers alone. The day she left school she threw them all in the bin and has never worn one since. Again, her choice.
You need to tell the teacher to concentrate on her job and leave the parenting to the parents.

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:10:23

Just because none of the girls in her class have breasts in your opinion (though I’m not sure how you would have inspected all their bare chests to be so sure they’re not beginning to develop??) then it doesn’t mean children in other classes might not or that they haven’t had the issue before.
Do you honestly think it would be more acceptable for a pe teacher to single out the early developers and tell just them that they need to cover up than for it to be part of the girls uniform?
Just buy some comfortable cropped tops.

Missingstreetlife Wed 06-Feb-19 11:10:35

Nobody needs a bra, they are a fashion item, invented by the film industry in living memory. Some people feel more comfortable wearing one for support or modesty, some do not. Whether women young or old should cover their breasts, full or flat is another matter. If the boys don't like it they shouldn't look

anniehm Wed 06-Feb-19 11:13:00

I suspect all the girls in her year were told so as not to single out those who are more developed and at any point they may start to hit puberty. I

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:13:15

Cannot believe people think this is within the teacher’s remit!

Surely an easier solution would be “t-shirts tucked in for PE” across the board.

newhousestress Wed 06-Feb-19 11:14:03

Did the teacher really say this?

Marcipex Wed 06-Feb-19 11:15:19

Of course parents should do the parenting, but some don't.

lisasimpsonssaxophone Wed 06-Feb-19 11:15:36

I take it back and didn’t mean to sound rude, I am sorry. I was just genuinely surprised at the idea of 9 year olds needing C-cup bras.

I was the first girl to get breasts in my year and it wasn’t until I was 11, and my first bra was a B cup. I don’t recall bras even being on my radar at 9.

I don’t think it should be up to a teacher to tell a 9 year old to cover up though, that still doesn’t sit right with me.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:17:09

@PorkPatrol I don't make a habit of inspecting girls' bare chests no, but as these are my daughters friends who I regularly take to or see at swimming/gymnastics I stand by my previous comment that these particular girls are not in need of support.

Why in the world should it be made a uniform item just because one or two in her year have need of it?

Should they all have glasses so a few don't feel singled out?
Shall we give them all braces regardless of need?

Butterfly84 Wed 06-Feb-19 11:17:16

I agree with pps that it's not up to a teacher to decide what the children wear. However, maybe it's just something that the teacher says to the 9 year olds each year as obviously breasts can begin to form at that age. I'm not saying the comment is fair or okay, but imagine if you worked into a sports hall and there were girls doing handstands with their breasts on display with a teacher supervising. Maybe they're just trying to protect themselves from appearing inappropriate.

LuckyLou7 Wed 06-Feb-19 11:17:36

Both my daughters chose to wear crop tops under their school uniform, from an early age, possibly due to peer pressure, because every other little girl wore them. I went along with it, because I had no wish for my girls to be a target for being different. Both daughters are now women in their 20's and are not the least bit traumatised about covering up their prepubescent chests.

lljkk Wed 06-Feb-19 11:17:48

"None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things."

So only those who are developed... should be singled out. Think about it. It's a kindness to make it blanket advice.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:19:02

@JacquesHammer that would be the sensible solution wouldn't it?

For boys and girls in the name of neatness and health & safety, all shirts should be tucked in during P.E, Job done.

Sarahjconnor Wed 06-Feb-19 11:19:40

DD was wearing a vest at that age. Why on earth would anyone without breasts require a bra? It's sexist, her nipples are being treated as pdf they are provocative in some way.

mansneverhot Wed 06-Feb-19 11:20:02

No one NEEDS to wear a bra. There's some really weird attitudes on this thread. Who is it that these children need to wrap up and protect themselves from, the 9 year old boys or the adults in the room? Clearly they aren't "flashing" on purpose. Serious body shaming and double standards going on here. The girls should wear the underwear they feel most comfortable in, end of. #freethenipple

Sarahjconnor Wed 06-Feb-19 11:21:14

T Shirts tucked in or a tighter more fitted PE top - we all have an air text polo shirt which wouldn't ride up, but we wore PE knickers which would probably be considered highly sexualised and inappropriate now. FFS.

GreenEggsHamandChips Wed 06-Feb-19 11:23:05

Why didnt the teacher tell the kids to tuck the tshirts in?
All sounds very strange to me

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:24:55

If a teacher felt a child may need glasses/an eye test it wouldn’t be an inappropriate conversation to have with the individual child so it’s not the same.
Would you be happy if your dd was starting to develop early and you hadn’t got her a bra yet for the teacher to single just her out and tell her she needs a bra/cropped top one to one? I doubt it.

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:27:39

T-shirt’s tucked in would be a solution if they stayed tucked in though I imagine they would come untucked when arms were raised for things like cartwheels.

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:29:34

T-shirt’s tucked in would be a solution if they stayed tucked in though I imagine they would come untucked when arms were raised for things like cartwheels

They’d stay tucked in long enough for the cartwheel to be done, then child can re-tuck!

There’s absolutely no need for a 9 year old girl to wear a bra/crop-top unless they need the support/they want to.

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:31:17

It depends on the tshirt. The Pe T-shirt’s my kids have come untucked if they stretch their arms up.

diddl Wed 06-Feb-19 11:33:26

Wouldn't kids wearing vests take the off for PE anyway?

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:33:32

So would you be happy for your child to be singled out and a conversation had just with them if they were an early developer then? Because I think that would be completely inappropriate.
I imagine girls with no breasts are required to wear a full swimsuit for swimming rather than just bikini bottoms - what’s the difference?

Fraying Wed 06-Feb-19 11:33:43

I'd love to know where you buy school pe tops that stay tucked in during gymnastics. hmm I don't think this is about stipulating underwear or about sexism or overly sexualising children.
It's about appropriate wear for pe. It's probably about health and safety. If the girls are mid handstand/cartwheel/somersault and suddenly worry their top and vest has ridden up, then they're more likely to lose concentration/try to pull it down and lose balance, etc.

ShatnersBassoon Wed 06-Feb-19 11:35:35

It's still your call to make, so you can ignore the teacher's advice. I suppose the teacher sees it as similar to suggesting to the whole class that they might want to start using deodorant - probably unnecessary for most, but kinder than singling out those who do need it.

Nobody needs a bra, they are a fashion item, invented by the film industry in living memory.

That's not true. Google 'the history of bras' and you'll see that women have been covering and supporting their breasts for aeons.

RB68 Wed 06-Feb-19 11:35:53

Why not just tuck T shirts in ffs - for boys and girls so they have a good outline to see if they are doing things properly if nothing else

Bryjam Wed 06-Feb-19 11:37:15

Nobody needs a bra, they are a fashion item, invented by the film industry in living memory.

My tits are at waist level without my bra, so I would argue that I do indeed need a bra.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:37:45

Even the tucked in thing bothers me, It's the suggestion that nipples are something to be hidden away.
This wasn't even on DD's radar, Now it is. That makes me annoyed.
Now she wants to wear the crop tops she deemed uncomfortable because this teacher has made her feel like her chest is not to be seen.

@PorkPatrol As I've already said, If a developed girl needs a bra they should not be singled out by a teacher. The teacher should contact the parent and let the parent decide along with the child.
Obviously eye tests are different but you made the statement that all girls should wear bras to make the few that need them feel more comfortable. I was simply replying that I felt that would be ridiculous and where would that kind of attitude end?

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:39:17

Do you also object to your dd being required to cover her top half for swimming?

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:42:06

Is she required to? Haven't heard that she has. That certainly isn't a rule on the wall at the local pool and I've seen plenty of girls in just bottoms at the pool.

Faultymain5 Wed 06-Feb-19 11:42:59

@PorkPatrol
My DD is 10, does not have any Bikini bottoms, because she has nothing to put in a Bikini Top. She started budding late last year, she requested crop tops two years ago. Way too young for someone not developing. She got them when it became apparent she was entering into puberty.

And crop tops, support nothing when all you are doing is budding. A vest is more apporpriate as it keeps them warmer.

Should the teacher have said something? I'm unsure either way, I think it depends on their reasoning why.

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:43:33

Aged 9 really??? I’ve never seen a girl older than a toddler in just bottoms at the pool.

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:43:40

The Pe T-shirt’s my kids have come untucked if they stretch their arms up

Then buy a bigger one wink

RiverTam Wed 06-Feb-19 11:44:37

I don't object to swimming costumes but equally I don't see the point - no difference between male and female chests pre-puberty. But equally, not all female chests are the same post-puberty and not every girl will need or want to wear a crop top or bra, and I am buggered if I can understand what the fuck this has to do with a teacher.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:46:34

Precisely @RiverTam

PorkPatrol Wed 06-Feb-19 11:46:48

The t-shirts fit perfectly. It is the style of the shirt rather than the size that causes it to ride up. Rather than have my dd wear a tshirt down to her knees she just wears a cropped top underneath which has never been a problem.

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:49:28

The t-shirts fit perfectly. It is the style of the shirt rather than the size that causes it to ride up

How very odd.

Rather than have my dd wear a tshirt down to her knees she just wears a cropped top underneath which has never been a problem

Right, because you/she CHOSE to. Not as a dictat from a member of staff.

Seeline Wed 06-Feb-19 11:51:15

What exactly does your DD say the teacher said?

OutPinked Wed 06-Feb-19 11:51:39

I think it’s likely at least one girl in the class has breasts and the teacher doesn’t want to embarrass them so is making this a general ‘rule’. We all wore crop tops at 9 and moved to tiny bras in year 6.

Ifangyow Wed 06-Feb-19 11:51:42

Can you still buy leotards?
Maybe that is the answer?
@porkpatrol my 9 almost 10 year old granddaughter often goes in the pool in just bikini bottoms. Her choice.
My 6 year old granddaughter runs around on the beach bare naked! Shock horror.

silkpyjamasallday Wed 06-Feb-19 11:53:16

I wouldn't be happy that the girls are being given the message that their bodies must be covered, it's sending the message that they are objects to be viewed rather than full people like the boys from a very early age.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:54:26

@Seeline

''Girls I'd like to see you wearing sports bras or crop tops for P.E in the future''

One of the girls asked why...

''Because your tshirts end up around your neck when doing gymnastics''

DD is usually a fairly reliable witness, But all the same I've worded my initial email gently just in case.

Ifangyow Wed 06-Feb-19 11:55:53

@silkpyjamasallday.
What you said with an entire row of bells on.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:56:21

I was at primary school in the 80’s / early 90’s, vests on PE days was the rule even then. (In fact in the infants we just wore vests and pants for PE). As we developed the vests became crop tops or training bras. I feel on the fence about whether the teacher has overstepped here. But I can remember in year 5 the teacher suggesting it was time for us all to start wearing deodorant (with hindsight probably to avoid singling any one person out), so it’s probably not an uncommon occurrence.

Seeline Wed 06-Feb-19 11:56:38

Well T-shirts round their necks seems very dangerous - how about suggesting leotards instead?

nellieellie Wed 06-Feb-19 11:57:52

Not the teachers call. My DDs class had several girls wanting crop tops. They wanted mobile phones, nail varnish and lipstick too. Thank heavens my DD was too busy doing fun stuff and not thinking about appearance. I got my DD a crop top at 11 when she needed one. I wouldn’t have wanted her getting self conscious about her body, or have someone else telling me she needs to cover up her child’s body ffs.

ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName Wed 06-Feb-19 11:58:04

Wow, I never knew how weird the general population was about little girls nipples.

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 11:59:00

Well T-shirts round their necks seems very dangerous - how about suggesting leotards instead?

Interesting how it only seems to be dangerous for the girls!

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 11:59:04

@Seeline I'm assuming there is no strangulation risk and the teacher was simply trying to lighten the situation or didn't have a suitable answer to 'why?' smile

RiverTam Wed 06-Feb-19 12:01:43

Wow, I never knew how weird the general population was about little girls nipples.

and that is the point, because I'll bet the boys aren't being told to cover up their nipples, presumably because we don't expect girls to run amok at the sight of a male nipple (and then do nothing about them, the ones running amok, I mean). God forbid boys should be told to shut the fuck up if they start sniggering at a glimpse of a female nipple.

Seeline Wed 06-Feb-19 12:03:48

I agree OP - it's just if the concern was tops round the neck, crop top wouldn't solve hte problem wink

As a matter of interest - do the boys and girls change together or do they have separate areas?

bigKiteFlying Wed 06-Feb-19 12:06:08

Sadly the primary school provided no sanitary bins so that made it all worse.

My 1980 primary school provided these and I certainly wasn't only child who needed them. It's bloody odd not to provide them IMO.

Both my 9 year old girls had crop tops they likes to wear but I agree it's not really a thing a teacher should be enforcing.

However, DD2 now only wears trousers to school few years after she and few other girls got told off for not wearing modesty shorts under skirts and summer dresses so their knickers can't be seen.

School insisted nothing would have been said by staff member - and I did wonder if it came from some of her more religious friends but according to other parents they had staff say similar to their 6-9-year-old girls as well. I ended up buying some to give her options as she was upset and I wanted her comfortable - but since then she massively favours trousers for school.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 12:06:12

@Seeline I don't know for certain but I'm going to hazard a guess that they all get changed in the classroom together.

SanFranBear Wed 06-Feb-19 12:07:03

YANBU

My DD is also 9 and despite having had some bought at the beginning of this school year, she has decided soft crop tops are not comfortable and refuses to wear one. It is her decision as it is her her body and she is not remotely ashamed of it. I can tell you now, she was far more self-conscious when she was wearing those tops.

It is definitely not a teachers decision and like some posters here, wonder why it is that it's always the girls who are taught to cover up.. Undeveloped chests are the same for girls and boys so the explicit message given here is that girls chests should be hidden? Makes me so angry!!

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 12:10:51

Teacher has shot herself in the foot really hasn’t she.

She comes back and says it’s a safety issue, in which case how is a crop top going to mitigate that. And has she requested boys where them to minimise risk?

Or it’s a modesty issue, which is ridiculous.

Fraying Wed 06-Feb-19 12:16:58

We don't know that the boys are doing the same gymnastics. OP doesn't even know if they change in the same place.
Our pe uniform at school was strict even stipulating gym knickers. It wasn't to ensure we didn't tempt the boys as it was a single sex school and our pe teachers were female. It was solely about the most appropriate uniform for the activity. Hence I'd have assumed the reasoning for this was the same rather than jumping to body shaming.

JacquesHammer Wed 06-Feb-19 12:20:22

It was solely about the most appropriate uniform for the activity

A crop top won’t prevent a t-shirt being “up around the neck” though will it?

Tinty Wed 06-Feb-19 12:22:55

DD came to me last night saying that she needed a sports bra or crop top for P.E in the future as the teacher had told this to a group of girls who had been doing gymnastics and their tshirts had fallen down when doing handstands.

Did the boys doing P.E. get the same suggestion OP? Or do the boys not do Gymnastics? In my DD's primary school the boys and girls did the same sports. So if girls were doing handstands the boys would also. They insisted that T-shirts were always tucked in though, so maybe this was why.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 12:24:04

Boys in this group were also doing gymnastics.
They were not told to wear bras/crop tops (to my knowledge anyway smile )

Changing in the same place isn't really relevant to the clothing being appropriate for the activity.

CountFosco Wed 06-Feb-19 12:34:41

Sadly the primary school provided no sanitary bins so that made it all worse.

My 1980 primary school provided these and I certainly wasn't only child who needed them. It's bloody odd not to provide them IMO.

DD1 is in Y6 and was saying they don't have them at their junior school. I was surprised because my primary school had them in the 1970s.

cricketmum84 Wed 06-Feb-19 12:41:49

I think that's reasonable at age 9. My daughter is the same age and has just started wearing a bralette in a AA cup as she was self conscious of her nipples being visible through her t shirt (plus all her friends wear them). Girls start developing pretty quickly at this age!

TadaTralala Wed 06-Feb-19 12:43:07

None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things.

Really, how do you know? My DD is a very skinny 8-yr old but already has little buds....unless you have actually seen these girls' chests, I don't think you can assume they do not have some kind of development.

WhenTheSkyFalls Wed 06-Feb-19 12:43:09

I have to agree tbh, yabu.

movinonup Wed 06-Feb-19 12:45:38

@TadaTralala this has already been covered. I see these girls at swimming/gymnastics...also my house for sleepovers so unless they've sprouted since Sunday I'll stand by my statement.

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