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Cleaner is refusing to soldier

(391 Posts)
biscuitbrown Tue 05-Feb-19 21:45:17

I've been lucky enough to have a cleaner help out once a week since my first DD was born, we pay her well and we've always been super flexible, she works the day that suits her (rather than a Monday or Friday which I'd actually like). I've always thought we we had a friendship based on mutual respect and flexibility. She's not English and I've gladly helped her with insurance claims/mobile provider issues / school issues /hospital appointments etc. We give her a generous bonus at Christmas, we look after her. I've just gone back to work 3 days a week (long hours) and we've taken the huge step of getting an au pair, which is the first time we've had any childcare. Our au pair is brilliant - capable, trustworthy, hardworking, helpful, she cooks when I'm working, keeps their rooms tidy, washes their clothes, babysits etc. We found her through an agency and they explained how it is a cultural exchange, gave us guidance on what you can and cannot expect an au pair to do.

Anyway to cut to the chase, we pay our cleaner well to clean the whole house. But now we have the au pair she outright refuses to clean her room. I am only asking her to vacuum and dust, not tidy or touch her things (and au pair is SO tidy). I asked her why (this was all on text) and she said the au pair is old enough to look after herself. She's 18. But cleaner is paid to clean all the rooms and has been doing so for years... AIBU?!

User383673 Tue 05-Feb-19 21:47:44

YANBU - it’s up to you what your cleaner cleans, not her!

Clionba Tue 05-Feb-19 21:47:47

What do you mean, she's "refusing to soldier"?

pictish Tue 05-Feb-19 21:48:10

Yanbu - if you want the au pair’s room going over and can pay for whatever time it takes to do, then I don’t see why the cleaner is digging her heels in.

bananamonkey Tue 05-Feb-19 21:48:12

By that logic you are also old enough to clean your room. Except you are choosing to pay her to do it instead. YANBU, could there be another reason?

shitholiday2018 Tue 05-Feb-19 21:48:56

No of course you aren’t! You are th client, you decide what’s cleaned. I’m guessing She cleaned this room before the au pair moved in?

FlagFish Tue 05-Feb-19 21:49:23

That’s so weird!

ChardonnaysPrettySister Tue 05-Feb-19 21:49:30

This is very odd.

MyKingdomForBrie Tue 05-Feb-19 21:49:39

She's being absurd, either she gives an honest reason or new cleaner time.

Redshoeblueshoe Tue 05-Feb-19 21:49:56

Banana that is an excellent point grin

ThePinkOcelot Tue 05-Feb-19 21:49:59

Soldier on?! Get on with it?!

OhDearHowSadNeverMind Tue 05-Feb-19 21:50:06

So much weird. Soldier? 🤔

theWarOnPeace Tue 05-Feb-19 21:50:09

Cleaner is bonkers and you shouldn’t be employing someone to work only on days convenient to them. There doesn’t seem to be much in it for you except for having a cleaner, and you could hire a different one! She’s taking the piss.

ashtrayheart Tue 05-Feb-19 21:51:04

Maybe she feels it’s insulting, like having to clean up for someone she feels is on the same level or beneath her.
But if she’s being paid to clean then she’s paid to clean. Although I also can’t see why au pair can’t clean her own room either so I don’t know!

MumW Tue 05-Feb-19 21:51:30

Tell her that as she is no longer cleaning the whole house and will be reducing her fee by £x.

Andtheskyisgrey Tue 05-Feb-19 21:51:34

'refusing to soldier' means refusing to obey a lawful command in military terms. It is used to describe the situation where someone refuses to do something which is part of their job.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit Tue 05-Feb-19 21:51:40

My cleaner refuses to soldier too. I tell her she'd look fab in the uniform but she's terribly stubborn about pacifism. Tut.

On a more serious note, no idea what's going on with your cleaner!!

FadedRed Tue 05-Feb-19 21:51:52

Oh, she’s a bit of a snob, isn’t she? She regards your au-pair as ‘staff’, therefore she should do her own cleaning.
You pay her to clean your house, you need to tell her that includes au-pair’s room. You are the boss.

ChesterGreySideboard Tue 05-Feb-19 21:52:33

What do you mean ‘soldier’?

As it is refusing to clean her room is madness. Presumably she had to clean that room before the au pair was in it.

biscuitbrown Tue 05-Feb-19 21:53:21

It's an army phrase, refusing to do your job.

2019Dancerz Tue 05-Feb-19 21:55:38

It’s like Iike Upstairs Downstairs

scissorsandpen Tue 05-Feb-19 21:55:43

Could it be a cultural thing based on seeing au pair as staff or does she clash with au pair seems odd

biscuitbrown Tue 05-Feb-19 21:55:42

And yes she always cleaned the room before au pair was in it. I genuinely can't understand what the difference is?!

Contraceptionismyfriend Tue 05-Feb-19 21:56:18

I'd text back
"This is literally your job. If you can't do that then I am happy to release you of your duties and find someone able to adhere to my requests"

She's taking the piss out of you.

biscuitbrown Tue 05-Feb-19 21:56:38

Apparently they have nice chats and get on well. I'm at work but no reason not to believe this.

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