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To be revolted by husband swearing at 9 week old baby

(129 Posts)
Fate32 Mon 04-Feb-19 23:45:19

I heard my husband swearing at our nine week old baby because she had a bit of reflux, AIBU to be revolted by this?

LovingLola Mon 04-Feb-19 23:46:05

Why do you even have to ask???

eurgh Mon 04-Feb-19 23:48:38

Well it depends on what he said....??

IncrediblySadToo Mon 04-Feb-19 23:49:31

Depends on the context really and whether he was swearing about the situation or swearing AT her.

Rtmhwales Mon 04-Feb-19 23:50:34

I dunno, I told DS he was being absolutely f'ing ridiculous once. I was at the end of my tether about the situation and tired, just venting really. I didn't mean it though.

rededucator Mon 04-Feb-19 23:52:44

Did he say 'oh for fuck sake' when getting covered in vomit or did he call your DC a little cunt? There's a bit of a difference

coppercolouredtop Mon 04-Feb-19 23:54:37

Agree with red

What's the context?

Ribbonsonabox Mon 04-Feb-19 23:55:05

Depends on context.. I shouted 'why wont you just shut the fuck up' once at my son when he was 2 weeks old because he had been crying pretty much solidly day and night.... I'm ashamed of it but obviously he didnt understand and wont remember... babies can be very intense especially your first.

So I'd say it depends... does he regret it? was he just very stressed, was it an accident and not a genuine expression of anger towards the baby?
He needs to take ownership of it and try to implement calming strategies if hes getting this stressed.

If hes trying to pass it off as nothing then I would be angry and worried.

FSPea Mon 04-Feb-19 23:55:15

Don't be ridiculous. A baby that age can't understand swearing. I'm sure I said "shut the fuck up!" to mine more than once in the middle of the night, exhausted and at my wit's end.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Mon 04-Feb-19 23:55:34

Ex was rough with our newborn, and called her the c word. Used to call his son and me and other people (behind their backs) the c word.

Its not right, Its not OK.

MrsTerryPratcett Mon 04-Feb-19 23:55:45

I agree that context is everything. Harsh tone and shouting at a baby are far worse than swearing about something.

Loftyswops988 Mon 04-Feb-19 23:59:30

all about the context!

SushiMonster Tue 05-Feb-19 00:00:38


In a nice baby voice “oh you little fucker, you’ve just pulled all over me” whilst caring gently for the baby. Ok.

Shouting or using a harsh tone of voice and handling abruptly - not ok.

Howhot Tue 05-Feb-19 00:02:07

Context op ...

TakemedowntoPotatoCity Tue 05-Feb-19 00:02:26

What did he say?

1) oh for fuck's sake - not great, but forgivable

2) stupid fucking whiney little bitch - LTB.

Fate32 Tue 05-Feb-19 00:15:40

He said to her "oh for f* sake (then her name)" he had only been looking after her for a few minutes and we get plenty of sleep so no exhausted sleep deprived parents here.

Ribbonsonabox Tue 05-Feb-19 00:16:41

What has he said about it? Is he mortified or is he acting like it's fine?

Justaboy Tue 05-Feb-19 00:17:45

I wonder if its a type of stress?. Most all men have it seems these days very little knowledge of what its like to have a baby around espically newborn's course its quite exciting and all that but as can be seen with mums who are at their end of thier sleepless tether I very much suspect that too rubs off on the father.

We've just had a new born in the family and some friends of mine have been around when young un's been here they seem to think and react like shes some sort of alien being! well thats their reaction:!

And i let fly a few choice words when her majesty honked all her milk bottle feed over a nice clean shirt the only one i had around and was just about to go out in .

Nothing that serious mind!.

AGHHHH Tue 05-Feb-19 00:18:02

That's not great obviously but I wouldn't say it's "swearing at a baby". It's more venting.

worriedwinfred Tue 05-Feb-19 00:19:56

Reflux babies can be hard. It can be a struggle. New dad's srruggle too but people aren't as quick to check on them as they are the mum.
While it's not great what he said is be inclined to cut him some slack but make sure he knows it's totally not acceptable!

PerspicaciaTick Tue 05-Feb-19 00:20:50

At the moment your DD won't know or care about swearing, so long as he spoke in a calm way and continued meeting her needs. A FFS wouldn't concern my unduly at this stage.
But he has to know that it is not a good habit to get into - because one day it will come back and bite him on the arse.

Member869894 Tue 05-Feb-19 00:46:31

I think you are massively overreacting

Loopylou6 Tue 05-Feb-19 00:46:42


Redglitter Tue 05-Feb-19 00:53:32

Massive over reaction. He didnt swear at her as such it sounds more like exasperation. Revolted seems a bit much

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 05-Feb-19 00:55:51

He swore and she was there, very different to swearing at her.

If you manage to make it to the end of her first year without doing the same you will be unique in the world of parenting.

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