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DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.

(620 Posts)
Foxandthehound Sat 02-Feb-19 10:29:10

I'm probably being unreasonable and ott but I don't care.

Dd was born with quite a bit of hair, by 6 weeks old it all fell out. It grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde colour. I was in love with her hair. We (me and DP) weren't planning on cutting her hair for a while. We were going to let it grow out. DP's SM suggested to get a 'trim', to help it grow faster. We didn't follow through on the advice because it was growing quite well already.

DP's SM had her for the day yesterday and dd returned with a beanie hat on. I asked DP's SM where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that's why she bought the hat) (dd does own multiple hats btw).

She left quicker than usual. I started removing DD's outwear. I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn't a trim, all her hair is complete gone.

I know it's a silly problem and it shouldn't bother me, but she knew I didn't want a trim let alone it all chopped off. I rang her and she answered and immediately started apologising, so she knew what I was ringing about. She said the hairdresser took too much off. I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

Thinking about it I'm probably completely overreacting, I'm just so mad!

Hollowvictory Sat 02-Feb-19 10:30:39

You are not over reacting. I'm not precious about hair bit that is outrageous.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Sat 02-Feb-19 10:31:40

She's marking her territory.

Cut her loose.

LegoPiecesEverywhere Sat 02-Feb-19 10:32:38

You are not over reacting. I would go nuts. How dare she? She would never have my child again.

Hollowvictory Sat 02-Feb-19 10:33:41

Yes she would no longer see me or my child. She's not related to you cut ties.

Littletabbyocelot Sat 02-Feb-19 10:33:53

I don't particularly care about hair but I don't think you are over reacting. She chose to do something to your dd that she knew neither of you wanted, something that while not huge is hurtful and having taken your chance to have a first curl is happily keeping it for herself? I wouldn't be telling her to avoid for a while, I'd be saying you've lost all trust in her and she can't have dd alone again.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:11

Awful behaviour. I would not let her have unsupervised contact.

Interestingly my dad took my curly baby with him for his hair cut this week. The hairdresser said she won’t do drastic haircuts/cut off curls on dads’ instructions, only on mums’.

LegoPiecesEverywhere Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:15

Just re-read and she is keeping the only lock of hair? That is outrageous. I would never speak to her again.

Averyimportantperson Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:17

Kept a lock for her to keep! Is she being fecking serious!

Going against your wishes like this would actually make me think twice about leaving my DD with her. Due to the sheer selfishness.

Singlenotsingle Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:23

She's a CF! I wouldn't dream of taking dgs or dgd for a haircut unless I'd been asked to! shock

Birdie6 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:35

Does MIL come from another culture ? I know of some countries where they cut off all the kids' hair "so it will grow more quickly" which is a total myth.

She was totally wrong to do this .....and then to say that the lock of hair is HERS and not for you ! I'd be livid !

Helplessfeeling Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:37

She wont even give you the curl? She is not that sorry then is she! I would certainly keep my distance.

ButterflyWitch Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:43

Ok I'll get flamed for this but I've a low tolerance for this type of behaviour. It's assault. I'd be considering police. Imagine someone cut your hair off against your will?
And I certainly would no longer be leaving DD in her care.

AwdBovril Sat 02-Feb-19 10:34:55

Getting hair cut doesn't help it grow faster. Stupid woman (her not you).
She obviously knew she'd cocked up, or she wouldn't have bought the beanie for your DD & quickly scuttled off.

itsbetterwithoutyou Sat 02-Feb-19 10:35:24

YANBU How dare she!

I certainly wouldn't let her have your DD on her own ever again.

Maelstrop Sat 02-Feb-19 10:35:28

Holy fuck! And she won’t give you the lock? She’d never have my dd alone again. What a nasty thing for her to do, it’s unbelievable.

cricketmum84 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:35:28

No I don't think you are over reacting by being angry about this. Ithink some of the previous suggestions about cutting all contact are a bit over the top though!!

I would be absolutely raging about her keeping the lock of hair though. And your DP should be putting his foot down about that with her.

Readysteadygoat Sat 02-Feb-19 10:35:38

You are definitely not overreacting as far as I'm concerned. I'd be furious and would be unlikely to trust her with DD for a while.

I don't understand why she thought she could keep the lock of hair though? Does she have form for being a dick?

mumisalliam Sat 02-Feb-19 10:35:54

Omg I am speechless

I would have to be no contact for that tbh

ShinyRuby Sat 02-Feb-19 10:36:16

You are definitely definitely not BU. I'm absolutely fuming just reading about it. I would be absolutely distraught & really angry. She'd need to avoid me pretty much forever after this. The cruel comment that the last curl is for her is just sickening really. Poor youflowers

Praiseyou Sat 02-Feb-19 10:36:26

She won't give you the lock of hair!!!!! She's a cow.

YABU in the first place, she shouldn't have decided to get your daughter's hair cut; it's not about how much the hairdresser cut off, she shouldn't have been there in the first place.

I would literally not rest until I had the lock of hair off her, I would raise hell. If she is such a CF that she thinks she can make this decision for you, you need to put an end to this behaviour now.

piefacedClique Sat 02-Feb-19 10:36:32

Oh my god! YADNBU! I would hit the roof! I’d be a bitch enough to say she drops the lock of hair over or she never sees her again! Slight over reaction I appreciate but I would be so upset

KC225 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:36:35

That is bang out of order. You have every right to upset.

Mooey89 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:36:38

YANBU - I would be LIVID!

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump Sat 02-Feb-19 10:37:02

You’re not being OTT.
Children in foster care still need permission from a parent for a hair cut. I’d be furious and not leave dd with her again. I’d probably go nc

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Sat 02-Feb-19 10:37:03

She simply doesn't have your dc unsupervised again.
And tell everyone what she did.

mirren3 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:37:13

What is your DP saying? She is a CF of the highest order. I'd be demanding the lock of hair back for you and DP too.

ItsMEhooray Sat 02-Feb-19 10:37:37

Call 111 immediately!!

Not really. I would be livid though.

Elllicam Sat 02-Feb-19 10:37:46

Oh no I would be fuming. What is his dad saying?

meow1989 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:38:37

Out of it all I think the most upsetting bit is the curl, how dare she?! I'd be demanding it back.

What did her dad say?

Morgan12 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:39:25

Oh I'd be fucking furious. I wouldn't be speaking to her for a very long time. Maybe never at all.

Monny1 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:39:33

That is outrageous, l would be fuming! She at least, needs to give you her lock of hair. I am speechless.l would struggle to talk to her, after that.

DrWhoLovesMe Sat 02-Feb-19 10:40:01

I’m livid for you. How dare she. The insult to injury is keeping that curl though. To me that suggests she isn’t actually sorry, least not in the way she should be. She should be apologising for bad judgement, and offering up that curl.

KC225 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:40:03

Posted too soon. I would insist that your DP collects the 'first curl' and then I would blank her for a good long while. She cannot be trusted.

EhlanaOfElenia Sat 02-Feb-19 10:40:13

Tell her that the next time you see her she WILL give you YOUR daughter's curl, otherwise she won't be seeing her again.

She is well out of order!!!

Oh and she has just given up any chance of having your DD on her own again.

Ljlsmum Sat 02-Feb-19 10:41:10

That would be the end of the relationship if I was in your position. The CF after everything is going to also keep the curl! Well that would be the last thing she see's of my child. What a bitch. Also cutting hair yas no effect on growing faster- it grows from the roots so how could it have any influence on hair growth!

FlibbertyGiblets Sat 02-Feb-19 10:41:11

I would be so upset too, how awful.

Step Mum won't be seeing your daughter unsupervised again.

Take a pic and tell everyone.

TidyDancer Sat 02-Feb-19 10:41:16

Definitely no unsupervised contact again. And very little contact anyway. She's awful. As for not giving you the hair, what planet is she on??

What has DP said?

Dreamingofkfc Sat 02-Feb-19 10:41:52

I would be so cross! Use this now to make sure all boundaries are covered. And she absolutely needs to give you that lock

Confusedbeetle Sat 02-Feb-19 10:42:38

She should never ever have done this, and should have owned up when she brought her back, Your OH should ask for for the keepsake curl, it is not hers to keep.
Make it clear that this decision was not hers to make and that she must not do anything like this without discussing it with you first. THEN, move on. The hair will grow. Mend the relationship. There are far worse things going on. Just have the discussu=ion and then draw a line

Peridot1 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:42:59

You are NOT overreacting! shock. How bloody dare she?

storynanny Sat 02-Feb-19 10:44:08

Absolutely completely wrong and I understand how furious you should be.
Im a grandmother and stepgrandparent and it wouldnt enter my head to make decisions like that. Its your baby not hers.

Nanny0gg Sat 02-Feb-19 10:44:24

* I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while*

A while? That would be forever if that were me. Unforgivable
Has your DP spoken to her?

CupoBlood Sat 02-Feb-19 10:44:38

What does your dp and his father say out of interest?

FairyAnn Sat 02-Feb-19 10:44:55

I don't have kids but I would be raging! How dare she do something like that, behind your back, when you'd explicitly said not to.

Her behaviour when she dropped your daughter off says it all - she knew she'd done wrong and you would be upset with her.

She is selfish and the thing with the curl confirms that. I'd be giving her a wide berth from now on. She needs to know there are consequences for her actions.

So sorry this has marred your experience for your daughter's first haircut. If you can, try and focus on all the other lovely firsts you have to come

elvis86 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:44:57


I can't even comprehend the thought process that would lead her to do that? And to stake a claim on the hair on top of it?! I actually think she must be seriously unhinged. Like, to a degree where I wouldn't let my kid near her.

I honestly don't think I could speak to her again. And anyone (DP / FIL) who wanted to try and defend or reasonably explain what she'd done could do one as well.

One of the craziest things I've read on here!

MyFootHurts Sat 02-Feb-19 10:45:02

Well, that would be a no unsupervised contact from me, I'm afraid. She's down a complete disregard for your feelings and that will continue throughout your dd's childhood.

MyFootHurts Sat 02-Feb-19 10:45:15


VampirateQueen Sat 02-Feb-19 10:45:29

YANBU at all, I would be fuming and then to keep the lock of hair for herself WTAF!! I would tell her that she is giving the lock of hair to you, seeing as she has robbed you from your DD's first haircut and had it done terribly. I'm not usually petty, but as you said she is your DP's step mum so, this normally wouldn't bother me, but in the circumstances I would point out that she doesn't have any right to the hair as she isn't even related, let alone after what she has done. I would never trust her with my DC again either, if she goes behind your back with this what else will she go behind your back with. angry

MyFootHurts Sat 02-Feb-19 10:45:49

Cold fingers, bad typing.

Willow1992 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:46:36

If she had done it, the haircut went wrong and she brought her back completely apologetic and upfront about it then it would be one thing. But hiding her under a hat for you to find later is like something a child would do. hmm It's what my 4 year old does if he has broken something.
What good is keeping the lock if hair when she has so badly damaged your trust in her to look after your DD? Has she had children of her own, because she doesn't seem to have much understanding of what is acceptable? Someone needs to have a word and she needs to come back with a big apology and offering to return the hair to you.

Fabaunt Sat 02-Feb-19 10:46:52

My mouth is swinging open as I read this. What the hell!! I would send DP around for the curl immediately, this is absolutely non negotiable. You are her mother. You are entitled to hold on to her first curls. She’s not even a relation. I would honestly be kicking off like nobodies business.

Secondly it goes without saying keep your daughter away from her and I’d have nothing more to do with her either

FlipperSocks Sat 02-Feb-19 10:46:52

She had no right to take your child for her first haircut. Those moments are precious.
I would be so upset and definitely not ever leave dd with her again.

And to keep the lock for herself is just weird.

Whisky2014 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:47:00

What the FUCK. I know people will say hair grows back but its not the point. And the fact she knew she had done wring but still said the lock if hair was for her to keep is outrageous! Actually I think she knew exactly what she was doing and took only 1 curl on purpose. Ring the hairdresser to ask what the instruction was. I bet it was "a good cut" not "a trim"

OnTheHop Sat 02-Feb-19 10:47:07

Let me count the ways....

1. Being ignorant enough to think that cutting the ends of hair, which is dead matter, has any effect whatsoever in tne growth from the follicles
2. Interfering in any way whatsoever with your child’s hair and ....
3. Especially when you had specifically said ‘no’.
4. Allowing the hairdresser to run amok with insufficient supervision
5. The dishonesty of bringing her home in a hat and not telling you what happened straight away
6. Keeping the lock of hair.

What does your DP make if all this?

I would tell her she offers a proper apology, swears never ever to disregard any of your instructions ever again and give you the whole lock of hair or I would never see her again.

PregnantSea Sat 02-Feb-19 10:49:56

Um... Wtf? YANBU and stop saying you're overeacting, I'd be bloody fuming!

Obviously it's not a go NC situation lol, bit what she's done is bang out of order. I'd probably avoid her having DD alone for the day again. She's a CF and went behind your back.

SummerGems Sat 02-Feb-19 10:49:56

It’s annoying but I would have harsh words and demand the curl back, although in retrospect I have a teenager now and things like baby locks of hair and so on are stuff I never kept and as a teenager now it wouldn’t even occur to me that I’d kept them iyswim.

Talking of going no contact over a haircut though and in one instance even involving the police and calling it assault are hysterical responses.

Your dp needs to talk to his dad about this rather than her as she’s his wife/partner etc. How long have they been married for instance? What is your dp’s relationship with her like generally?

She’s over-stepped the mark here but this is a potentially life-long relationship you are risking ending over a haircut. As she has previously had/looked after your dd the implication here that it has generally been a good/positive relationship, and those are still important even if there need to be changes to make them run smoothly.

Raspberry10 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:49:58

YANBU I would have gone nuts! She’d never be given unsupervised access to my child again. What else will she do without your consentor knowledge? What does your DP think?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Sat 02-Feb-19 10:50:36

I don't think there is a lock of hair.

I think she panicked when asked about it, said there was one but it was 'hers'. Then OP wouldn't ask for it.

rainbowstardrops Sat 02-Feb-19 10:51:47

I would be absolutely livid and she'd bloody know it too!!!!!
How bloody dare she?!!!
Your partner needs to speak to her and his dad and at least demand the curl back.
Then I'd be NC with her for the time being at least. She'd certainly never look after my child again.
Just out of interest, how old is your DD? I'm surprised the hairdresser did it tbh.

longtompot Sat 02-Feb-19 10:51:59

I would also have been furious. If she was truly sorry, she would have given you the lock of hair, but as she has kept it, knowing your wishes with regards to your dd first haircut, then to me she doesn't care about your feelings on this matter.

Just a thought. Might she be planning to have something done with the hair, ie set in a frame or something? Possibly as a gift?

makingmammaries Sat 02-Feb-19 10:52:13

Her behaviour is OTT. But, as someone whose kids have no grandparents, I’ll have DP’s SM if you don’t want her.

Baconmaker Sat 02-Feb-19 10:52:39

I usually think the posters who complain that "in laws took my baby for first trip to santa without me" are being ridiculous but in this case I would be fuming. She really overstepped the mark.

NoParticularPattern Sat 02-Feb-19 10:52:59

Jesus. No way on this planet would she ever see me or my daughter again. She certainly would never have her alone at all. I’d be so furious. And as for keeping the lock for herself! How selfish to think of what she wanted and completely disregard what you might want. I mean the ship had sailed at that point but she could have at least mitigated this absolute fucking disaster that’s she’s orchestrated by a) being apologetic b) not trying to hide it and skulk off and c) at least offering you the curl or bloody well giving you one as well.

Who the actual fuck does she think she is? I’m struggling with words that aren’t profanity at the moment, and she’s not even my daughter. What has your DP said? If he’s not equally furious and marching round there right this second to retrieve that curl I’d be refusing to speak to him for a good long while too.

Baconmaker Sat 02-Feb-19 10:53:22

In terms of the actual hair it's annoying but not really a problem long term but I'd be annoyed at her just unilaterally over ruling your decision about your child.

moita Sat 02-Feb-19 10:53:42

Bizarre. Why would she do that? I'd be angry

Booboostwo Sat 02-Feb-19 10:53:53

Wow, controlling, manipulative and unpleasant. No unsupervised contact with your DD from now as a minimum.

jaseyraex Sat 02-Feb-19 10:55:26

The fact that she ignored your wishes, delibaeratly tried to hide it from you instead of coming clean, and then not even having the decency to give you the lock of hair is what would bother me more than the hair cut itself. Have a harsh conversation with her and demand that lock of hair, it's not hers to keep. I wouldn't be letting her have DD on her own for a while just to prove how seriously upset you are.

NoParticularPattern Sat 02-Feb-19 10:55:40

And I disagree with the posters who are saying think hard before ending this relationship. OP isn’t ending the relationship, her DPs SM shot it repeatedly in the face. It’s not the OPs fault if this relationship dies because of the actions of an absolute fucking moron.

TulipsInbloom1 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:55:44

She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me

This is bordering on psycho territory for me.

SilverBirchTree Sat 02-Feb-19 10:56:10

Oh my god. I would hit the roof. I would be furious. angryangryangry

I'm so sorry OP. What a bonkers thing for her to do. She absolutely should give you the lock of hair and then should stay the fuck away from you for some times

Iloveautumnleaves Sat 02-Feb-19 10:56:40

That lock of hair had better be hand delivered to you, today.

She had NO right to go anywhere near DD’s hair. Let alone keep the only lock of it.

She wouldn’t be having DD again.

You haven’t over reacted. She’d be under my fucking patio already

NeedSomeTimeInTheSunshiiine Sat 02-Feb-19 10:57:30

"Let me count the ways....

1. Being ignorant enough to think that cutting the ends of hair, which is dead matter, has any effect whatsoever in tne growth from the follicles
2. Interfering in any way whatsoever with your child’s hair and ....
3. Especially when you had specifically said ‘no’.
4. Allowing the hairdresser to run amok with insufficient supervision
5. The dishonesty of bringing her home in a hat and not telling you what happened straight away
6. Keeping the lock of hair.

What does your DP make if all this?

I would tell her she offers a proper apology, swears never ever to disregard any of your instructions ever again and give you the whole lock of hair or I would never see her again."


Kittykat93 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:57:36

I would be furious

Bluestitch Sat 02-Feb-19 10:57:40

I wouldn't be seeing her again and neither would my child. I'd also be asking the hairdresser what she thought she was playing at hacking my child's hair off without either parent there to give permission.

babysleep4 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:58:41

How awful. You are not being OTT at all this is outrageous behaviour. Cut her off, what a cheeky bitch.

Sear86 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:58:42

YANBU. I would be very upset. Who takes someone else's child for a haircut

mistermagpie Sat 02-Feb-19 10:59:03

I've had two extremely bald children so I understand the significance of a first haircut - we had to wait nearly three years for DS to have one! I would have been livid in your position and her keeping the hair is just creepy. I would just explain calmly that as she can't be trusted not to respect your wishes then she would not be having unsupervised access to your child.

Weightsandmeasures Sat 02-Feb-19 10:59:30

Did she really get ALL of your dd's hear cut off? I can't help but think there is a lot of exaggeration in your post OP.

Sear86 Sat 02-Feb-19 10:59:30

Especially the first haircut

Foxandthehound Sat 02-Feb-19 10:59:56

Dd is 17 months old I forgot to add, so her didn't grow overnight. I'm so glad I'm not overreacting. Dp is on my side but hasn't spoken to his Sm yet. I'm going to go round there later, as calm as I can be, and ask for the lock of hair again. I feel so robbed! I wasn't there for it, I didn't consent to it, and she's not allowing me to have a curl. Who does she think she is?

She does have a tendency for being quite a dick. I constantly feel as if she undermines my parenting and she does come across as quite judgy. Dp has put her in her place over this multiple times.

I don't feel 100% comfortable leaving dd with her (even more so now) because, despite being a parent herself, she seems clueless on how to parent. For example at 8 weeks old she told me I was killing dd by breastfeeding her. Breastfeeding is apparently not enough to live off. 2 months ago when dd was 15 months off (and on normal food) she fed dd jar food. Dd never ate jar food, it's always been mashed up normal food when I was weaning her. The jar she gave her was the really liquidy food for 3 months old. I asked why she didn't give dd something like a sandwich and she just said the jar was on offer.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm reading through them all now so if I haven't answered your questions I will shortly. I'm currently stuffing my face in cheesecake

SavoyCabbage Sat 02-Feb-19 10:59:58

I couldn't give a fuck about hair and I'm not particularly sentimental either but I honestly wouldn't let her see her again. Certainly not on her own.

brizzledrizzle Sat 02-Feb-19 11:00:11

I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

I think she'd best avoid you for longer than a while. I can't imagine any grandparent, step or otherwise, doing this.

elvis86 Sat 02-Feb-19 11:00:13

I generally think people overreact and are hysterical on here, but this is just such an aggressively, deliberately disrespectful thing she's done. And rather than being apologetic, she's got the gall to tell you she's keeping the hair?! She's batshit.

Regardless of culture or different people's experiences / norms etc, you do not get a baby's hair cut, having already proposed this with their mother and having being told no.

I genuinely think I'd want nothing to do with her again.

Sonicknuckles Sat 02-Feb-19 11:00:25

No you are not overreacting, that is totally wrong of her

HavelockVetinari Sat 02-Feb-19 11:00:26

Where is your DP in all of this? As she's his SM, surely he's had words by now? She sounds a right cow!

DorisDances Sat 02-Feb-19 11:00:33

I am outraged on your behalf OP YANBU

Butchyrestingface Sat 02-Feb-19 11:02:27

She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me.

I hope you don't have a pet rabbit and an easy-to-reach assortment of pots. 🐰😱

No to unsupervised contact until your DD is old enough to lie screaming on the floor like a dead weight if step-granny tries anything dodge.

I hope she's not your childcare when you're at work. In that case, you'd be fucked.

MaverickSnoopy Sat 02-Feb-19 11:02:43


She wouldn't have my child again. I would be thinking seriously about whether I wanted to see her again. With time of course it can be dealt with but I'd also be mindful of any other behaviour in keeping with this.

elvis86 Sat 02-Feb-19 11:03:08

I don't know why you're going round there calmly. I would be raising merry hell.

From what you've said, I've no idea why you would leave you child alone with her anyway? Are you that desperate for childcare?

FlibbertyGiblets Sat 02-Feb-19 11:03:53

Does step mother have your daughter to help with childcare costs? Because these are the kinds of pitfalls with taking up family care (you've referred to other issues).

Cheesecake for elevenses is never a bad idea

Highonthehill Sat 02-Feb-19 11:04:18

I am so glad that my dd gps would never dream of doing anything like this....

I am livid for you op.. after your update I would never let her have unsupervised contact.. or even that again.

JaretsGirlfren Sat 02-Feb-19 11:05:19

I am very laid back but I would have hit the roof!

HunterHearstHelmsley Sat 02-Feb-19 11:06:10

Bloody hell. Nasty cow.

I thought my nephew should have a hair cut as it was looking a bit scruffy. I offered to pay for my sister to take him (to a kids salon that gives you a certificate and a lock of hair). She said no and that was that.

I wouldn't allow her with your DD unsupervised for a very long time. She can't be trusted with her, clearly. Her Dad needs to get the curl off his 'D'M quick smart.

eggsandwich Sat 02-Feb-19 11:06:12

She’s crossed the line tremendously, so as a consequence she should not be allowed to look after your dd or allowed unsupervised visits, lord know what she’ll do next.

Maybe take a pair of scissors to her hair and see how she likes it, I would demand the lock of hair she has kept for herself and would be very vocal in reminding her that YOU are her mother and she has not only crossed the line but abused your trust.

HunterHearstHelmsley Sat 02-Feb-19 11:07:37

I would make a complaint to the hairdresser too. They shouldn't allow this. They must have known she wasn't your DD's mum.

RavenLG Sat 02-Feb-19 11:09:03

She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me

I'd be telling her that's the only part of your DD she will ever see again then. Cut her out, go NC and don't allow contact again at all. She's asserting power. Don't let her!

Jokie Sat 02-Feb-19 11:09:35

I think you've been restrained. Im so outraged on your behalf. Could your DH go round there? I know that I wouldn't be able to restrain myself from going absolutely crazy at her

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Sat 02-Feb-19 11:09:49

I have a son but if I had a dd and someone did that id go batshit! You are the mum, You should have the curl at the very least.Crazy behaviour!

Prettyvacant2003 Sat 02-Feb-19 11:09:59

What a dick! You're not overreacting. She stepped over the line.

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