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to think this attitude to child's birthday party is a sad reflection of the times

(473 Posts)
balletclassonfriday Tue 22-Jan-19 14:14:06

A colleague of mine is organising a birthday party for her daughter who will be 9 soon. She is planning on having it at home with party games and a magician (a friend's DH whose doing it for free} and a birthday tea. However, apparently around half of the children from school invited have said they can't come. Some of them told my colleague's daughter yesterday that the reason they're not coming is because it sounds 'babyish' and 'boring' and they only like parties at bowling alleys or where they get to see a movie and have McDonald's.

My colleague is really upset. She can't afford that kind of party and thought 8 and 9 year olds would be happy with games and pizza and birthday cake.

AIBU to be a bit shocked at the attitude of these kids?

NotUmbongoUnchained Tue 22-Jan-19 14:15:41

I don’t know. I can’t imgaine a magician being amusing for kids over the age of 5.

OnlyYellowRoses Tue 22-Jan-19 14:15:47

That is really sad, I think pretty much every party I went to when I was younger was of the house and tea party type.

Nothininmenoggin Tue 22-Jan-19 14:17:51

Extremely sad and yes unfortunately a sign of the times. Youngsters are growing up far too quickly these days.sad

ErickBroch Tue 22-Jan-19 14:18:03

Odd. We have an 'ipad' party at home basically - little brothers friends all come round with ipads/console and they all play together and have food for 2 hours. Doesn't cost us a lot and they all love it.

Racecardriver Tue 22-Jan-19 14:18:14

I don’t think it’s a reflection on the times as much as kinds of familiesyou get all the school. How shockingly rude.

Bokky Tue 22-Jan-19 14:22:22

I think the party sounds lovely but, having said that, I can't imagine my DD of the same age wanting a magician at her party. The tea party bit, yes, but magician probably not.

TheStoic Tue 22-Jan-19 14:24:42

Can’t imagine kids saying no to any party for any reason.

BabloHoney Tue 22-Jan-19 14:25:04

That's so mean - surely it should be about wanting to celebrate with the birthday girl - if they were proper friends, they would come to her birthday regardless.

Hopefully she'll still have a great time with her friends that are coming.

Their loss anyway, I love magic grin

BaronessBomburst Tue 22-Jan-19 14:25:21

To be honest, I can't see the 8 and 9 year olds I know going for party games and cake. Pizza, yes, but then with a DVD or a mass Minecraft or gaming session.
I don't even think I would have gone for party games myself at 9.

steppemum Tue 22-Jan-19 14:27:09

No, not a sign of the times at all.
That sounds like a 5 year olds birthday party.
And I don't think it is rude for a kid the think it sounds babyish, I'm not fussed about going.

Mine all had parties at home until about aged 9/10, my youngest has just had her 11th at home and we have said it is the last of the kids parties.
We essentially do games and cake,
BUT and it really is a massive BUT, we sell them differently. So, off the top of my head, we had

007 spy party
Great British Bake Off (did that twice with 2 different kids)
Football in the dark (glo stick football followed by pizza and film)
Murder mystery (all the clues were hidden in things like bowls of cold tinned spaghetti, it was s teddy that had died)

I have also done a few bowling/film etc, but I just tell my kids it is 3 friends for bowling, or 10 friends at home. They chose, and the cost is exactly the same.

Sorry, I think she has pitched this wrong

thewayoftheplatypus Tue 22-Jan-19 14:27:15

Yup, I have experienced the same.

My son had a small tea party at home for his 6th birthday last month. Just 8 friends for school and I had arranged some themed party games around his favourite activities. We also own a lot of Lego, so we set them a build challenge. The boys enjoyed themselves at the party, but there were a lot of raised eyebrows/whispered comments in the playground beforehand. From both the mums and kids.

We didn’t do this for financial reasons- in fact we spent a lot on stuff for the games etc. We did it because it was what my son wanted.

We took the attitude that as long as our son had a good time, and we were good hosts to everyone else, that was the best we could do!

Stompythedinosaur Tue 22-Jan-19 14:28:08

While my 7yo probably wouldn't choose that as a party, they certainly wouldn't turn it down if invited. I can't imagine that changing in the next few years. Most kids love a party, of whatever sort!

I wonder if the party is being used as an excuse and there's actually some bullying going on.

EnoughSnowAlready Tue 22-Jan-19 14:28:12

I had a magician for my 9th birthday and everyone loved it, judging by the pics which I still have. He was very funny. That was the 90s though. Children don't seem to play now as they used to which is rather sad.

Toooldtocareanymore Tue 22-Jan-19 14:28:35

what a shame and how rude, of the kids and parents, if my son gets an invite to a party he's just thrilled he wouldn't think of asking what type of entertainment there might be, even when all the boys in his class were having soccer parties and he hates soccer with a vengeance he still went very happily, its a party there will be sweets, cake, friends to play with

FuckOffMeadowSoprano Tue 22-Jan-19 14:29:32

I do think tea at home and a magician seems a bit young for 9 tbh. Fine for 2-6 i'd say.

Sounds like friend is very kind but might have missed the mark a bit?

RiverTam Tue 22-Jan-19 14:29:43

The children are being very rude, that's just a fact.

I do think it sound a little 'young' but that is no reason for bad manners, and also no reason why the children won't enjoy it! Hopefully your DD will have a great time with the ones who do come.

(FWIW 'at home' parties at this age seem to be more pyjamas, pizza and a movie kind of thing - which is even cheaper!)

FuckOffMeadowSoprano Tue 22-Jan-19 14:30:15

Can't she do pizzas and movies at home, with popcorn and make the living room into a mini cinema?

peachgreen Tue 22-Jan-19 14:30:27

Holy crap. If my daughter ever told someone their party sounded "babyish" she'd be in big trouble! How rude.

SwimmingJustKeepSwimming Tue 22-Jan-19 14:30:52

Oooh id lile to hear more about the murder mystery party. My eldest would love that

Last time we saw a magician must be aged 6 or maybe 7. I cant see 9/10year olds wanting games and cake myself. Yes to pizza and movie or a themed party - science or baking or something at home is fine but it sounds like it was advertised like a 5 year olds party.

Raaaaaah Tue 22-Jan-19 14:31:34

I don’t think it is a reflection on children as a whole just these particularschool pals. My son went to a 10th birthday party last weekend. Really home grown, dancing and games and they all had a blast. They had way more fun than the usual bowling stuff and because it was inexpensive the whole class could go. This is in an area where children generally grow up way too quickly.

BarbarianMum Tue 22-Jan-19 14:31:59

We did similar at that age (birthday tea and games, no magician) but themed it as a Harry Potter party. So the kids dressed up as witches and wizards, and the games and cake had a Harry Potter theme. Went down well - I think it's in the marketing.

Oblomov19 Tue 22-Jan-19 14:31:58

How rude! When My ds's were that age, they normally had a few friends round.
Is it the magician bit?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Tue 22-Jan-19 14:32:04

My dc have always had at home parties, always been a success and well received. It is sad op I agree, dc are programmed now to always want more, same /better than xy+z. Dd had 5 friends to bowling for her 13th - first proper party!! The amount of gifts off 5 was ridiculous!! Dps must feel under pressure to cough up imo.
Unlike me who set a £3 limit for friends gifts this year!!

onlyminematters Tue 22-Jan-19 14:32:12

Maybe a sleepover with 3 of her friends would be better? My son is 8 soon and having a lazer party, I don't think any of his friends would enjoy a magician party.

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